The Itch of the Golden Nit

---

Hello! Right, I have something

very important to tell you.

Myself and thousands of kids

from all over Britain got together

and thought up some genius ideas

with the Tate Movie Project, and...

ALL:
We made a film!

# I'm a star, I'm a star... #

# Uh-uh-oh, ay-ay-ay

# I'm a star

# My name is Stella, I'm not an Ella

or a, I'm not a Bella

# Ay-ay-ay

# I'm the best, I'm the best

# I'm a star, I'm a star! #

Aaarghh!

Aaargh! It's gone,

it's plopping gone. Are you sure?

It's ever so tiny. Of course,

I'm sure. It's escaped. Wheeeeeee!

Help me find it.

I'm coming to get you.

Check those shoes.

You might have trod on it.

I'll tread on you in a minute.

Aaargh! I am flabbergastingly mad.

Why so stressy anyway?

It's just a bug.

Waahh! That bug's my ticket

to ruining the universe.

THAT'S WHY I'M STRESSY!

You're never going to get friends

if you take over the universe.

I don't care!

I just want to rule the world.

BELL RINGS:

Like, I had the whole house

all to myself.

I went for a pedicure

and a manicure.

You want to go the chippy?

Hey, sis. Get lost, Beanie.

Beryl, who's the kid? Oh, uh, nobody.

Then, like, I had a like,

a chocolate bar.

I've got some of it left, want some?

Beanie! Are you playing?

To me! To me! On your head, Beanie!

Ha, ha-ha! Ouch!

Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha!

Oh, yes, nice header.

I can always do it

when there's no-one watching.

See?

Footy Fortnight, got it.

Guinea Pigs Go Wild, freaky!

How To Dance Like A Dad, no way!

Ah, sick, the new Ten Heart Hero!

I am Ten Heart Hero and I fight evil

for justice.

Whee-hee!

Need your city saving from evil

monster cars? Cool, super light.

Ow!

I wish I was a superhero. Then I'd be

a somebody, not a nobody.

Eurgh!

Don't get me mad. You already are.

There it is! After it, Firebreath!

It's FireBOY. What-ever!

Aargh! You meant that.

# I'm a mad, mad dad, oh, yes, I am

# A mad, mad dad, oh, yes, I am

# Do the funky dad dance

Do the funky dad dance

# I'm a funky dad, yes, I am. #

Do the mad dancing!

'This is a newsflash.

The sun is dying.' Uh?

'Yes, that's right, Bill - dying.'

What about Julie? The kids?

The organic allotment?

Julie, have you heard the news? Yes.

Bang goes our summer! Ha-ha! Hi.

The sun is going out, the world

is ending, we're all going to die

and you say, "Hi."

Not just the world, silly,

it's the end of the entire universe.

Hmm, looks like number 23

have got a new car, then.

Show-offs.

Ooooh!

I am named Stella.

MOUTHS CHORUS:
Named Stella!

Oh. Are you from the council?

Ha, ha-ha! Du-uh!

You have what is mine.

MOUTHS CHORUS:
Mine!

So give! Give!

We only give to Children In Need.

Rrrrhh! Bubble up.

Oooh! Aren't they pretty, Bill?

Aargh!

Waaah! All right?

Maybe. Seize them, Fireball.

It's Fireboy!

Julie, run like you've never run

before! I've never run before! Ooh!

Soon, I will control

the universe... Universe!

..and everyone will know

it's all about me. Me!

Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa!

Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa!

Quiet!

Stay calm, cool and collected, Bill.

Cool might be a bit difficult,

ha-ha. Owww!

KNOCK AT DOOR:

Huh? Hello-o-o-o! Beryl?

This is so not happening to me.

Ha-ha-ha!

Like, where were you?

Mum and Dad got shrunk and abducted

by actual aliens.

Abducted by aliens? Wow!

We've got to get them back, but how?

What can we do? Who can help?

Why? How? Who? How?

My social life is so over.

We need a superhero.

There's no such thing.

Like there's no such thing

as an actual alien?

'Greetings, needy person,

Ten Heart Hero speaking.'

My mum and dad have been shrunk

and taken by aliens.

'And I'm out, saving the galaxy.

Leave me a message

'and I'll be right back atcha.'

What about Crazy Daisy?

'Crazy Daisy isn't free today.

I'm visiting

'a museum of chocolate cake

dating back to 1982.'

But we need help! Someone, anyone!

What about Hairyman?

PHONE RINGS:

'Today is Save Yourself Day.

Please call back tomorrow.

We'll have to save them ourselves.

Whoa! Up here, Beanie brain.

All a superhero needs are pants,

gadgets and a heart.

It says so in here!

Whoaaa!

Hi, is that Super Co? I don't

suppose you do gadgets, do you?

You do? Great! How do we get to you?

What?

I think our taxi's arrived.

Whoa-ho! Whoaaaa!

# Whoa-ho! My name is Stella

I am the best... #

This couldn't be

any more embarrassing.

I don't know, I'm quite enjoying it.

SHE SINGS:

You have my nit. I want it back.

Oh, goodness me, all this

kerfuffle over a tiny parasite?

It's not just any nit,

it's the Golden Nit.

It's the key

to powering the universe.

Once I get my hands on it,

I, Stella, will be the most

important person EVER.

Oooh!

Flick the switch on the

nit extractor thingy, Fireface.

Fire-BOY.

Waaaaah!

Come on, where are you, nitty?

Hey, it's like, still out there.

What do you mean,

it's still out there?

You can't argue with the nit-nav.

Well, go and get it, then!

Why does nobody ever listen to me?

It is so, so annoying.

Whoaaa! Wooooo! Wheeeee!

I can't wait to go inside,

I bet it's all futuristic-y

and stuff.

Halt, Earthlings! Sorry, sir,

but you're, like, in the way.

My name is President Pinky, huh!

And I come from the planet

Namamamamamamamamamamamamama-

mamamama...

mamamama. Whatever, Pres.

Can we come in, please?

This shop is for superheroes only.

You have to answer a question to

pass. What is your superhero name?

You have ten seconds.

Tick... Um.. Well, I'm really good

at football, so mine is Footie Boy.

That is just SO not true.

You're rubbish at football.

It's B for Blend In Boy. You've got

the ability to be totally ignored.

W-Well,

you're Shouty Beryl with the loudest,

most brain-boiling voice

in the entire universe.

Tick, tick, tick, tick,

tick, tick.

Blend In Boy and Shouty Beryl,

welcome to Super Co!

And you've got a face like

a smacked... Shut up! Whoah! Wow!

Are we in the future?

Oh, whoa, this is sick.

I can see Electroboy.

Mum, I'll be there now in a minute!

And that must be The Painter.

Hm, but I need the mega rainbow

power ultra paintbrush.

And is that Mothman?

I am Mothman, I seek enlightenment.

I didn't know superheroes shopped.

Everybody shops.

Whoa, sonic footballs!

Oi!

CRASH!

Whoops!

Freeze ray, oh, yes.

Rocket jeans, bring 'em on. Laser

lip gloss, I wonder how this works?

Hmmm, mwah!

Ow dee ow ow ow ow!

I've got the gadgets,

you take the pants.

Grow up! Oh, sorry, you can't.

Thank you for shopping at Super Co,

saving money and the universe.

You're Ten Heart Hero!

Why are you here?

I thought you were saving the galaxy?

Ugh, it's a long story.

Blend-in pants - now these rock.

Your Super Co card?

I think, I don't...have one.

You can't pay?

Embarrass alert!

But we need these gadgets,

to save my mum and dad.

This weird alien lady

and a freaky boy on fire,

they shrank my parents.

So we called for help,

but all the superheroes were busy.

This sounds like the work of...

Bam-bam-ba-a-am!

Evil Stella.

I heard she stole the Golden Nit.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes