The Jane Austen Book Club Page #4

Hey, hey, hey! Sahara, off!

Sorry. Sorry about that.

Sahara I had to have spayed.

Thyroid issues.

I still show her, though.

She's very competitive in her category.

- Yeah?

- Sexually altered b*tch.

Well, I got you those books.

You know the ones I suggested?

Ursula Le Guin.

Oh, yeah. Thanks, that was thoughtful.

You don't have to bring a hostess gift

to these meetings, FYI.

It's just a book club.

Where's the heat

between Emma and Mr. Knightley?

There's no animal passion.

Look at Frank Churchill and Miss Fairfax.

You can tell they're really in love

because they behave so badly.

And that's good?

Emma and Mr. Knightley,

you just never feel the sex.

Still, I think Mr. Knightley's very yummy.

Don't you?

He may be my favorite of all the Austen men.

Sans passion I'amour n'est rien.

- That's not Jane's theme, is it?

- Jane?

That's cozy.

What we're meant to see

is not the lack of passion

so much as the control of it,

and the not giving in.

Apres moi, le deluge.

But Prudie's right, it is in all the novels.

Sense and Sensibility, obviously.

Oh, and then there's Maria's infidelity

in Mansfield Park.

I forgot there's infidelity in Mansfield Park.

Austen's all about keeping it zipped.

Yeah, but isn't physical attraction

one of the ungovernable forces?

You know, like gravity.

That's what we like about it.

You know, downhill, release the brakes,

loosen your grip, and...

Yeah. Love makes people crazy.

- It does not excuse bad behavior.

- I agree.

And Mr. Knightley is violently in love.

"Violently!" His word.

And yet, he's never anything

but a gentleman.

- Yeah, a gentleman who scolds people.

- Not everyone.

You know, just Emma,

just the woman that he loves.

C'est vrai. C'est typique.

A man can do whatever he likes

to the woman he loves.

I don't think that's what Austen's saying.

Actually, Emma stops being crazy

when she falls for Mr. Knightley.

It's the event of the book.

Love is an act of sanity.

One thing that I noticed about Emma

is the sense of menace.

The gypsies,

Jane Fairfax's boating accident,

Mr. Woodhouse's worries.

Austen's entire thesis is that

none of these things are real, Grigg.

I mean, Emma, she acts

on the basis of her fantasies.

Yes, Grigg, I'm afraid

you've just entirely missed the point.

You know, I've read that the Emma plot,

the humbling of the pretty, know-it-all girl

is the most popular plot of all time.

Yes, universally satisfying.

Okay. Well, what bothered me

was how Emma kept forcing

her friend Harriet on Mr. Elton.

And then she finds out

who Harriet's father is,

and suddenly, "Ew!"

She's lucky to get the farmer.

I think Jane was being ironic there.

I think some readers might miss that.

- Emma's a snob.

- Please.

People are instinctively drawn to partners

who are their near equal in looks.

The pretty marry the pretty,

the ugly the ugly.

To the detriment of the breed,

in my opinion.

God, you're such an Emma. Isn't she?

You'd love to pair up the whole world,

from dogs to people.

Put me together with Daniel.

And you had beautiful children.

Oh, no, don't get up, Jocelyn.

I'll get the tea. Sorry.

Mom.

I hope we didn't scare Grigg away.

- Yeah, he sure got out of here fast.

- Yeah, we'll toughen him up.

Was the book club a bad idea?

Austen has a way of making you forget

that most marriages end in divorce.

Well, she's all about the weddings, Jane.

Yeah, "Jane." Did you catch that?

Oh, Prudie?

"Jane and I, we know our themes."

And why did she have to speak in French?

And if so, couldn't she do it in France,

where it's less noticeable?

I feel for Prudie.

She's married to a complete Neanderthal.

Okay, I will call you when I land in Dallas.

You know what?

Let me call you when I check in the hotel

if there's time before the game,

- 'cause we're gonna wanna get there early.

- Whatever, okay.

Have fun with your mom.

- Hey, Sky. Hi.

- Hi.

Mom, you were supposed

to sit with the car.

I'm gonna get a ticket!

- Yo!

- Get some ass!

So... Hey, what're we doing today?

Well, I'm teaching. It's a school day, okay?

So I'm gonna drop you at the house.

Or you can take the car

and you can go see a movie or something.

- No, no, I'll hang with you.

- No, no, you can't.

They don't allow that.

Mom, could you... Oh, my God, please.

Okay, I can't.

Mom, I'm late. Please. Come on.

Oh, ditch them. Blow them off.

Tell them your mother doesn't wanna

hang around while you go to work.

What's the story with the clothes?

You dress like a flight attendant.

No, I dress like a teacher.

Or it gets confusing.

Mom, mind your stupid... For everyone.

Why would anyone

wanna teach high school?

I hated my teachers.

Well, I'm just gonna settle you at the house.

No, I'll drop you at school

and then I'll take the car.

- Should you be driving?

- Huh?

Okay, you know what?

Just don't forget to come get me at 3:00.

Okay? Don't forget.

I'm in Brigadoon.

Would you mind running lines with me?

"Of course I'm all right."

"I'd have died

if anything had happened to you.

"I love you so."

"But how can you be sure in just one day?"

"I dinna know, 'tis just

"when a lass falls in and out of love,

she knows it right away."

- What?

- It's a good accent.

Well, languages are my speciality.

I just thought that...

French teacher.

It's your line.

"Do you think you're in love with me?"

"Think? What good does thinking do?

"But what I feel is something else."

"What do ye feel then, Tommy?"

And then we kiss.

Who plays opposite you?

Karen Bhave.

I think she only tried out because

she thought we'd hook up during the play.

I saw you watching me in the library.

- I wasn't watching.

- You were watching.

No, I was reading.

- You were watching.

- I was reading this...

- I was reading this book...

- Oh, yeah?

...about some people

in this house called Mansfield Park.

- Austen.

- Yeah.

We're doing Mansfield Park

for senior seminar, so...

I actually bought the book already.

I'm trying to make myself wait, you know?

Delay gratification. That sort of thing.

- So what happens?

- Right, well...

Well, they decide to put on a play

in the house.

And rehearsing it, it sort of unleashes them.

Two of them actually fall in love, and one...

One of them, Maria Bertram, is set... Stop it.

- Is set to marry someone else.

- Or maybe not.

Well, I think... I think...

I think what Austen is trying to say

is that play-acting is dangerous.

All of that intimacy backstage,

the waiting and the whispering,

and onstage you're gazing at each other,

and "I love you."

I mean...

Well, you can see how it happens.

Yeah, I can see it happening,

just not with Karen Bhave.

So, do you wanna go over it again?

Hello?

- Yeah.

- Hey, Grigg, it's Jocelyn.

- Hi. Hey.

- Hi.

- So how's Mansfield Park coming?

- Just great.

Am I disturbing you?

I'm just writing an email to my sisters

about you, as a matter of fact.

And Ursula Le Guin.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes