The Jane Austen Book Club Page #8

Uh, moral support.

She's had a rough couple of weeks.

- Well, you're welcome to join in, Dean.

- Nah, that's okay.

I think I'll just head to the bar.

Let you ladies talk.

There is no bar. It's a library.

- Serving liquor.

- Well, that'll work.

You guys need anything?

We had this big fight on the way over here.

- Have some champagne.

- Mom?

I broke up with Corinne.

Oh, my God. Honey.

- Nice.

- We have plenty of time.

Honey, whatever happened between

you and Corinne, you don't just walk out.

- You don't even know what she did.

- Did she hit you?

Did she say cruel things?

You are so quick to love. You're too quick.

You jump in, you jump out.

That's Daniel in you. Quick to act.

"It's not working? Well...

Fix it. Or break it. Who cares?"

We don't just dispose of people we love.

You stay. You repair.

Okay, you know what?

This is not you and Daddy.

This is Corinne. The difference being

that Daddy actually loves you.

So you go repair. Power on.

Maybe Daddy'll give up

this woman he's been f***ing.

- Allegra.

- But Corinne, I'm dumping the b*tch.

- We're gonna be so late.

- I'll call a cab.

I will not let Sylvia be alone when Daniel

walks into that library with Pam.

You got your phone?

I'll find a payphone.

Are you attracted to Sylvia?

Yeah, she's, um... She's nice.

She's more than nice.

She's smart and funny...

- And she's in love with her husband.

- Well, she needs to get over that.

Why don't you stop interfering?

Let Sylvia work out her own life.

It's interfering

to want my best friend to be happy.

If that's interfering, I hope I never stop.

What about me? Am I your friend?

Or am I just some widget to help you

make Sylvia feel better about herself?

Why did you invite me

to be part of your book club?

What went through your mind

the first time you saw me?

"There's a man who is dying to read

every book Jane Austen ever wrote."

- Is that what you thought?

- No.

But I thought, "What a beautiful woman.

I hope she looks over at me."

I thought if I read your favorite books

that you would read mine.

But, no, no, no. You just wanna be obeyed.

That's why you have dogs.

For such a famously romantic story,

Pride and Prejudice is a parade

of bizarre marriages.

I've had every marriage in this book.

My first husband was a politician.

He was embarrassed by every move I made.

He said I was rude and loud.

"Stop pointing your breasts everywhere,"

he'd say to me.

I was 17. I was Charlotte Lucas.

I married the first man who looked at me.

Tout le monde est sage apres le coup.

You don't see your own marriage

until it's too late.

So, um... I actually thought

that Charlotte Lucas was gay.

Really, I think that when she tells Lizzie

she's not as romantic as she is,

I think that's what she means.

Charlotte Lucas is not gay. She's not.

She just... She just has no options.

Wait. Austen meant Charlotte to be gay

or Charlotte is gay

and Austen is not aware of it?

I just love the idea

of a character having a secret life

that the author doesn't even know about.

You know, frankly,

I kind of admire Charlotte

for looking at her situation

and deciding to marry Mr. Collins.

I mean, yes, yes, she knows

he'll never be the "love of her life,"

but that's okay.

That is exactly the reason

that Jocelyn would hate her.

Jocelyn has contempt for anyone

who settles for anything less

than the perfect love.

You know, it's probably why Jocelyn

has never married.

My apologies, everybody.

- Hello.

- Hi.

We ran out of donut grease.

- Grigg Harris.

- Dean Drummond.

- Wait, Grigg... Grigg from the book club?

- Yeah.

No, it's just Prudie would say "Grigg,"

and I just didn't picture it as a guy.

So you thought Grigg was a girl?

Dean thinks "Austen"

is the capital of Texas.

Wow.

You'll notice that Jane,

she never shows what happens

after the wedding.

Maybe Elizabeth and Darcy

start hating each other.

Maybe Lizzie went off to Pemberley,

and she turned into this crazy person,

like her mom,

because our mothers are like time bombs.

They just... They tick away inside of us.

Let's not give Mrs. Bennet

more importance than she deserves.

- You know, I mean, what about the father?

- What father?

You know, my mom showed me

a picture of a guy in uniform.

Well, maybe she made him up.

Or maybe she bought it at a garage sale.

And I kept it in my room, this...

I kept it in my room.

Let's not do this now, okay?

Dean, I got it.

Bernadette.

Daniel never came.

Good.

I'm in love with one of my students.

But I mean, nothing's happened. Much.

But it could.

It could, if I let it.

I fantasize about him constantly.

Sweetie, your mother died. This is grief.

He looks at me like he's the spoon,

and I'm the dish of ice cream.

It's a good thing we're reading

Sense and Sensibility next.

- I love you so.

- But how can you be sure in just one day?

I do not know. 'Tis just when a lass falls in

or out of love, she knows it right away.

- You think you're in love with me?

- Think?

What good does thinking do

but what I feel is something else?

- Hey, you got your cast off.

- Yeah.

- How does it feel?

- Great.

You can reach it.

Just really stretch your arm out.

There you go.

Just give the rope a little bit of a shake.

You can do it, there... Can you put your...

Can you put your right foot

in that blue thing?

It's gonna be fine.

- Here, hang on.

- You can reach it.

- Just reach up.

- It's caught.

It's okay. You're doing good.

I'm totally okay. I'm not even hurt.

It's nothing.

I'm sorry, I have to stop you here.

It's not likely to be anything

more than a concussion.

I'd like to keep Allegra under observation

for a few days, okay?

And if you need to reach me, I'm Dr. Yep.

How many times have we had to come here

to get her stitched up?

- It's always Allegra, never the boys.

- Well, she's the one

who goes mountain climbing

and skateboarding and snowboarding.

It's a miracle she never tried parachuting.

She's so extreme.

One minute she's crazy in love

with Corinne,

the next minute she's never

hated anybody more.

- She's gonna be okay, right?

- She's fine.

She just took a knock on the noodle.

This is gonna sound, probably, horrible,

considering the fact that

she's got this lump on her head, but...

It's just...

It's great to have us all

in the same room again.

Just feels so normal.

Normal, yeah.

You know, I haven't been seeing Pam

for a couple of months now.

So, that must be a big change.

You know, I was thinking just this morning

about this book club that we're in,

Allegra and me.

The first meeting was...

Yeah, we had just been separated.

'Cause Allegra had just moved in.

And I was realizing how different I feel.

I don't think I'm the same woman

that you left.

I can see that. I so see that.

Well, it's probably the same for you.

I guess that's what happens

when you let go.

We did a good job taking things apart.

I'm kind of proud of us.

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