The Jerk Theory Page #7

I don't need this stuff!.

And l don't need you!.

I don't need anything!.

Except this.

This ashtray.

That's the only thing l need is this!.

I don't need this or this!.

Just this ashtray!.

And this paddle game.

The ashtray and the paddle game

and that's all l need.

And this remote control.

The ashtray, the paddle game

and the remote control. That's all l need.

And these matches.

The ashtray, these matches

the remote control and the paddle ball.

And this lamp.

The ashtray...

...this paddle game, the remote control...

...and the lamp, and that's all l need.

And that's all l need, too!.

I don't need one other thing!.

Not one. I need this.

The paddle game, the chair...

...the remote control

and the matches, for sure.

What are you looking at?

What do you think l am,

some kind of a jerk or something?

And this.

That's all l need.

Except the ashtray,

the remote control, the paddle game...

...this magazine and the chair.

I don't need one other thing.

Except my dog.

Well, l don't need my dog.

So, that's it.

It's an old story,

one you've probably heard before.

But l never thought it would happen to me.

Any of you bums

ever heard of Navin R. Johnson?

I've heard of him.

Born in Mississippi?

The inventor of the Opti-Grab?

I was just telling these guys!.

Son!.

Daddy!.

Navin.

-Mama!.

-My baby!.

I knew we'd find you!.

-Taj!.

-Don't kiss me!.

I called them the night you left.

How'd you find me?

I don't know.

This is the first place we looked.

We're taking you home

and you're living with us.

Turns out dad's a financial genius.

All l did was take the money

you sent home...

...and embarked on a periodic investment

in a no-load mutual fund.

He leveraged his ass

deep into soy beans and cocoa futures.

Right on.

I picked out this thermos for you.

-I'd kiss you, but l'm so dirty.

-Dirt doesn't bother me.

But the smell does.

Son, you'd better get

in the back with the dog...

...until we can get you hosed down.

-I love you, Navin!.

-I love you, too!.

Somebody open a window!.

Open all the windows.

I was so glad to be going home.

I remembered the days

when l sang and danced...

...with my family

on the porch ofthe old house.

But things change,

and with all the additions to the family...

...we had to tear down the old house,

even though we loved it.

But we built us a bigger one.

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Gonna jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Gonna jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Me and my buddy

-"Gonna pick a bale of cotton

-"Well, me and my buddy

-"Gonna pick a bale a day

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Gonna get on your knees

-"And pick a bale of cotton

-"Gonna get on your knees

-"And pick a bale a day

-"Gonna move all around

-"And pick a bale of cotton

-"Gonna move all around

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Want a barebacked man to

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Want a barebacked man to

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale a day

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"Lordy

-"Pick a bale a day

-"You're gonna jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale of cotton

-"You're gonna jump down turn around

-"Pick a bale a day

"Lordy pick a bale of cotton

"Lordy pick a bale a day

-"Well, me and my wife

-"Gonna pick a bale of cotton

-"Well, me and my wife

-"Gonna pick a bale a day

-"Take it!.

-"Pick a bale of cotton

"Pick a bale a day"

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