The Jewel of the Nile Page #2

Don't be frightened. You know,

a man of vision has many enemies.

And my destiny is to outsmart them.

You see?

Like it?

It's OK.

Well, sweetheart, I guess it's just you and me.

Goddamn it, she was the best time I ever had.

Don't cry, scumbag! I'll keep you company.

Cartagena, Colombia!

Long time no... Oh, sh*t.

- Go ahead. Gimme a reason. Make my year!

- Hey, go easy with the gun.

Did you miss me? I missed you.

You're all I thought about for six months.

They threw me in ajail filled with rejects

from the communicable disease ward.

Every wacko, drippy,

open-sored lowlife was in thatjoint!

All wanting to be my proctologist.

And rats! I'm full of rat bites.

Ten weeks of rabies shots this long and

all I thought of was you, Colton. Just you!

Well, I'm flattered, pal.

And I'm sorry you had such a tough time.

How about 100 bucks?

I'll give you a one-way ticket to Harp Land!

What'd you do with it?

- What are you talking about?

- The stone, moron! I'm cocked!

- Let's talk about this like gentlemen.

- Gentlemen! Did I tell you I got malaria?

Every time I shake, I shake like this. Know

what happens if I shake my trigger finger?

And I feel an attack coming on!

Know what happens if that happens?

It's the end of Mr Lucky. That's the end of...

Holy sh*t!

Quiet! Next time you'll not be so lucky.

- I am Tarak. You must come with me now.

- What the hell are you?

- Omar steal ourjewel. Al-Jawhara.

- Jewel?

You were invited with the woman. You can

get into Omar's palace. My people cannot.

- What people? What are you talking about?

- You must help me find the Jewel.

- Whatjewel?

- The Jewel of the Nile.

- Our most priceless jewel.

- Oh, thatjewel.

Omar has stolen my people's jewel.

Omar is a very bad man.

Oh, that scum! I spit on him!

Jack, buddy, let's help this nice man

get his jewel back.

- Yes.

- Look, I don't know where you're from,

but I'm sailing my boat tonight.

No, you must come to help find the Jewel

now before Omar kill many people.

As long as Omar have the Jewel,

nothing can stop him.

Look, I'm going on the boat.

You guys can do what you want.

The boat blew up!

My boat blew up.

The boat blew up!

Everything's gone.

Who are you? The Prince of Darkness?

Don't you got any friends?

This is the work of Omar.

- Omar blew up my boat, huh?

- Your woman is in danger, too.

I will take you to him.

- I'm coming, too.

- The hell you are!

Look, you owe me, Colton.

So wherever you're going, I'm going.

Where we going?

Africa.

- Do you recognise my home?

- I wrote this!

Yes! In The Return of the King.

I had the same uniforms designed.

Hello. Hi!

- Is all this yours?

- It belongs to the country. To my people.

Oh.

Why point out the negative?

In three nights in Kadir

the moon will be full,

and all my people will unite behind me

in peace and none of this will be necessary.

- Now let me show you my humble house.

- Thank you.

I'm really blessed. My people love me.

Well, yes. They seem very... enthusiastic.

Oh, this is a good shot for you -

the little boy holding up my picture.

Oh, yeah, that's wonderful.

My humble house.

You must forgive us. We are a poor people.

Everything you need, they will bring you.

Oh, thank you.

Here only strangers say thank you.

Family and friends have no need.

What was that?

Cats. Come.

I have a cat.

I hope this is satisfactory.

Oh, yes, this is OK. Fine.

Here you'll write your masterpiece.

Ah, I have a few questions...

I see the writer is already at work. Good.

Explore your new world.

Feel free to go anywhere and see anything.

Talk to anyone.

I'm glad you're here, Joan.

Together we'll make history.

It's like a fishbowl!

Why do these Third World cesspools

always gotta be so hot, will you tell me that?

Hey, where the hell you going?

Holy sh*t!

Well, Colton, looks like

we've hitched our wagon to a star.

Stop that! Stop it!

Excuse me?

What does this mean?

- Do you speak English?

- "Give back the Jewel."

- Give back the jewel?

- Yeah. Eid lana Al-Jawhara.

You can't do that! I'm a professional.

We'll see about that.

If you don't tell me

what the hell is going on here,

- I'll be on the first plane back to New York.

- It's impossible.

Tomorrow we journey to Kadir. You must be

there. It will be your most important chapter.

- I can't write if you keep secrets from me.

- What secrets?

What is the Jewel?

The Jewel is a legend.

I am real.

Do not be distracted

from your mission, Joan Wilder.

Make yourself comfortable.

You stay with me until our book is done.

You can't keep me here!

Go. You are free to leave.

Only the worst kind of fool

would attempt our desert alone.

I gotta get off this camel.

It's breaking my ass! Colton!

- You gotta hang on and take it.

- I can't.

- The camp's coming up.

- Sh*t!

You are welcome!

We have food! We have drink!

You got a toilet?

So how big is this jewel?

Very, very big. Very big. Very, very big.

Very big.

It's as big as this orange?

- It's as big as an orange.

- The Jewel is the heart of our people.

Omar steals the heart of our people.

- Omar is thief.

- Omar is very bad man.

Before Omar steal Jewel, everything good.

Now everything is sh*t!

You help us find the Jewel,

and we give you great reward.

But if you lie to us, you die.

But now we dance!

Look at these guys, Colton.

No sheep is safe tonight.

We split it right down the middle,

Colton. 50-50.

What are you talking about?

Don't play stupid with me, partner.

The Jewel.

And don't you even think of

messing with me.

Oh, what's that I hear?

A heart breaking? You sap!

Keep your mind on business.

You'll wind up getting yourself killed

over some broad who dumped you.

Jewels!

Oh, Omar!

I want you lot to be careful!

See that word "Fragile" on the side?

It means don't drop... Why don't you listen?

I might love your country, your culture,

and even your people! That means I love you!

But you drop one more of my boxes,

and I'll smash your bloody face in!

You tell Omar, right - Omar -

that his special-effects wizard has arrived!

Come on, then.

War plans? Oh, my God! What is he up to?

Wait till Time magazine sees this.

You bastard! You burnt my hand!

I didn't say it wouldn't burn.

I said it wouldn't hurt! There's no blistering.

- I've done it hundreds of times on stage.

- This is not a cheap theatrical stunt!

- It's a miracle! My people have to believe it!

- Omar, trust me. Trust what I've got to say.

Look, if I can make gods out of rock'n'roll

stars, imagine what I can do for you.

For your information,

I am not a rock'n'roll star!

The people must believe

I have the same powers as the Jewel.

Come! I want to see him now.

If it weren't for the Jewel,

I'd have led my people to power long ago.

Westerners understand nothing. The Jewel

represents the spiritual world of my people.

Unless I convince them I am their spiritual

leader, they will never follow me into battle.

That is why you are here.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes