The Jewel of the Nile Page #3

- Tell me how it's done, magician.

- It's not magic trick. It's miracle.

I am losing patience with you.

But you cannot kill me.

Even you are superstitious.

Al-Jawhara lives.

Two nights from now it will not matter.

Oh, no.

A woman?

- Most unexpected.

- I gotta get outta here.

I gotta stop Omar.

Did you bring an army?

- No. I'm just Joan Wilder.

- Just-Joan Wilder, I'm Al-Jawhara.

The Jewel of the Nile.

I don't understand.

- You are the Jewel?!

- Yes. For the moment.

In two nights at the holy city of Kadir

Omar will proclaim himself Emperor.

Without me to oppose him, he'll march

across North Africa like a madman.

But the world will see me

as the saviour of my people.

No, it won't. The world won't believe you.

I've been in your office and seen your vision.

- I'll write the truth about you.

- The truth?

If I wanted the truth,

I would have hired 60 Minutes.

What do you know about truth?

You fantasise everything.

Why do you think I brought you here? You

stay here and write what I tell you to write!

- You think no one knows I'm here?

- Oh, yes, Jack! I forgot to tell you.

Jack is dead.

Don't be ridiculous.

Jack would never die without telling me.

Nevertheless, he is dead.

You look pale, Miss Wilder.

I'll send you my personal physician.

It can't be true.

This Jack... He is friend for you?

Yes.

He is my best friend.

What? I don't see sh*t!

We must stop here.

It is dangerous for Sufis to enter Omar's city.

Now, wait. He's already tried to kill me once.

You are guest of Omar.

Find for us the Jewel. Accept your destiny.

Destiny, my ass! Excuse me.

When you hook up with jujubes,

see what happens.

Just take your lead from me, and we'll be fine.

- We gonna walk through the centre of town?

- I'm gonna put you up a camel's ass.

I might like it.

- What are you doing?

- In one of my books,

Angelina's Savage Secret,

she used her nailfile to cut

the mortar away from the window box.

How long did this take?

Two pages.

But... it's not the bars

that make the prison. It is the desert.

So I'll travel at night. I don't care.

I have to stop Omar.

I gotta get out to write the truth about him.

I have to get to Kadir.

Wait a minute.

You are the one that has to get to Kadir.

You are the only one that can stop Omar.

You have to go with me!

Maybe you are the one.

I accept.

We are sworn, Just-Joan.

- Right. But it's just Joan.

- Right. Just-Joan.

- Right. We just have to get out this window.

- Please.

- Magic!

- Dry rot.

I bet you could pick up a swell three-bedroom

town house here for about five or six dollars.

Hi. My name is Colton.

I've been invited by your Omar.

I'm here to see Joan Wilder.

Hey, Rachid! How are you?

Good to see you again.

Joan Wilder does not want to see you.

Well, now, Rachid,

I don't think you understand.

We're here on official business.

This is Mr... Fatush from the US Embassy.

He's got something very important

to talk to all you guys about.

Look, we don't want to

create an international incident here.

I mean, after all, she is an American citizen.

If you'll just let us see her, no paperwork.

Mum's the word. Everything...

Guys, no sweat, OK?

We'll catch you next time we're in town.

- Take it easy.

- Say hello to her for us.

You know what they say: Once

they've had a holy man, they never go back.

- Quickly, Just-Joan!

- Are you sure you know where you're going?

Those guys can go for hours

without coming up for air.

Ease up, will ya?

All right, there's gotta be another way in here.

I can't wait for another smooth move. How

about us at the back door in pussycat suits?

- When they come with the milk...

- How about you takin' it in the ear!?

Look, if it wasn't for me,

you wouldn't be on to this.

Subsequently I should shoot you

the first chance I get!

Jack!

You're alive!

Kinda goin' outta your way to duck me!

You bastard!

Oh, Jack! I thought I'd never see you again.

They told me you were dead.

I never wanna feel that way again.

Does this mean you apologise?

I feel like I'm back in eighth grade.

Is this The Young and the Stupid?

- What the hell is he doing here?

- Don't get cagey with me. I'm on to it.

I know how you two operate.

I'll get in there with or without you dinks!

Hey, look, guys! Lighten up!

I'm only saying hello to an old girlfriend here!

- Just-Joan, we need to go!

- Wait a minute, who's this guy?

- He's a friend.

- You made friends in there?

- OK. Let's go, come on!

- Wait. He's coming with us.

Don't start with me! I've come

halfway across Africa to rescue you.

Rescue me? I was doing fine without you.

- I am guide. I can help.

- I don't need a guide. I need a miracle!

Jack, he's coming with us.

All right. But if we get out of this alive,

I'm gonna kill you.

Let's go.

- Who are you?

- Is this where Al Jolson's buried?

- Who the hell are you?

- Don't provoke me, pal!

I had a tough day. You know

how hot it is here? It's 120 in the shade.

I'm like this with Weinberger.

We'll be all over you!

Let me in!

Holy sh*t and shove me in it.

Oh, no. Over the wall!

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Come on!

No! No!

OK, flyboy,

your estimated time of departure is now!

- What are you doing?

- I'm not doing anything!

- Well, do something!

- All right. I'm trying!

I mean, this isn't Space Invaders!

- Jack, the wall!

- Oh, no!

- It is Space Invaders!

- That'll show 'em!

All right, yeah!

Oh, sh*t!

Let's get outta here!

This is gonna be tight!

This is my first time in airplane.

How do you stop this thing?

Sorry!

- Do you know where you're going?

- Give me a break!

- Your friend steal the Jewel.

- What?

- You! You are liar to me!

- No!

I come back and you're dead!

You thieving bastard!

You ain't stiffin' me again!

I promise ya.

I'll feed ya to the maggots! I'll get...

Great! We're out of quarters.

Well, try that one there.

Now what?

Damn it!

Yes!

Hey, that's not bad for your first time.

Come on, we'll get him. We'll get him.

Colton, you ain't gettin' away.

Where the hell's the horn?

Get outta here! Get out of the way!

Sandstorm.

Stop!

What are you gonna do?

Either save us or kill us. Hang on!

- Now you are dead.

- No! Don't cut off my head!

- You stole ourjewel.

- It was the mook! He's always screwin' me.

I swear to God on my eyes

I never seen thatjewel!

No, wait, wait!

You need me. I can help you find him.

- You are his friend.

- No! No friend. Stop saying that.

Friends don't stab each other in the back.

Come on. Look, we'll team up.

We'll find him, we'll get him good.

He knows that I will not be denied!

Colton's future is bleak!

Very bleak!

Any idea where we are?

The best I can figure out is that we head

due east. We should make it to the border.

- Well... is that the way to Kadir?

- La. Kadir is in the west, over that mountain.

Well, the best of luck to you, pal.

Joan, let's get going.

Jack, we have to take him to Kadir.

What are you talkin' about?

We got him out, like you said. Come on.

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