The Jewel of the Nile Page #4

We swore an oath, Just-Joan and I.

We go to Kadir.

What is it with you?!

Jesus! Everything's always gotta be

your way? It's just like the goddamn boat!

What do you mean "my way"? It wasn't

my idea to spend six months on your boat!

- Oh, debate good. I enjoy.

- OK, let me tell you what I put up with.

We're moored off the Canary Islands.

Midnight, sound asleep.

Three crazed Joan Wilder fans

decide they want the anchor

of the Angelina for a souvenir!

- We were drifting for days! And the other...

- Stop. I'm sorry. It's time for Just-Joan.

- Remember the Costa del Sol, Jack?

- Oh, come on!

He's gotta meet me

at the governor's for dinner.

And you show up with the entire

national basketball team!

They were hungry.

This is what I'm talking about.

Sometimes you could think about me.

Oh, I suppose you were thinking all about me

when you took off with Omar?

- He blew up my boat!

- Our boat?

- Oh, now it's our boat?

- Good debate. It's equal, no winners.

- Just-Joan, we must hurry.

- Wait. He blew up our boat?

Why are you risking your life for this guy?

I made a commitment. I can't break it.

OK. Fine.

But I'm gonna tell you the truth.

I didn't come here for you anyway. No!

I'm on to something big.

- Ajewel. The Jewel of the Nile.

- Come with us. I am Jawhara!

- That means Joe.

- Thanks, Joe, but no thanks.

I wouldn't want her

to break her commitment.

Oh, Jack...

Come on.

That's for the Angelina.

I still owe you for Joan.

Oh, no. Oh, God.

Please, let me get out of this alive.

I swear to God

I'll be a good boy from tomorrow on.

But tonight I gotta kill Colton.

Heydi Joan Wilder!

- Why you didn't tell your friend about me?

- Oh, I know him.

He'd go halfway round the world for a party.

He wouldn't cross town for a noble cause.

- People can surprise you.

- No, he's just Jack. He'll never change.

Like a...

Like a stone.

It's always a stone. Open your hand.

Change is not always visible.

- Let's show some hustle!

- What?

Your buddy Omar!

What is it? He can't live without you?

- Are we jogging?

- We are jogging.

Greece is looking better and better.

Oh, sh*t!

Just tell me why this guy wants you so bad.

- Hey, Joe, where you going?

- This way.

- You gotta be kidding.

- He knows the mountains better than you.

Joan, will you give me a break?

America - democracy. We vote, huh?

Stop!

Hurry up. Let's go!

Get down!

It's a black day for democracy.

- Do not worry. It's not my destiny to die here.

- What about us?

That's another ball game.

Rachid!

Joan Wilder!

I wish no harm to you!

I'm your friend! Your fan!

Please surrender!

What did you do for this guy Omar

you never did for me?

Bloody b*tch!

Oh, sh*t! Look out!

Hey, Omar! Eat rocks!

Let's go.

I got something.

Nubians.

I was hoping to avoid them.

Sell any books here?

- Main man! Hey, my man!

- What are you so happy about?

Just keep smiling. Maybe they'll think

we're from National Geographic.

Hey! How ya doin'?

He says it's many days'

long trip over high mountains.

And he wishes us a very pleasantjourney.

Thank you.

All right. Thank you, guys.

Catch you next time. Goodbye.

Come on, Jack.

Ah, Mr Jack! Just-Joan! The Chief's son, he

wishes to make a blessing for your marriage.

We're not married.

He says, because you are not married,

that his son wishes to court you.

- Oh, I just...

- Oh, no, that's...

That's very nice, but the lady is...

She's with me.

He says that because there is more than

one suitor, that you must wrestle his son.

I gotta wrestle his son?

How ya doin'?

OK. This one I think I can handle.

OK!

No?

Hussein!

Wait a minute, guys.

Let's talk this over like gentlemen!

All right. You guys are with me, huh?

Yeah, me. All right.

Do me a favour. Tell him

we lived together for six months. Sh*t.

All right, what are the rules?

Right.

I'm sorry about that.

No, not the left one! No!

No pain, no gain.

Let me go!

- No!

- Can we talk about this?

Stop it!

We have to do something!

I am doing something.

Joe, he's...

- That was great!

- Great, huh? I could've gotten killed!

This is the marriage dance. In this tribe,

the women, they choose the man.

And then, according to the custom,

they will be together for life.

They get all that from one dance?

It's beautiful!

Ralph, if you want to be one of us,

take off your shoes and socks.

If you want to be one of us,

you must see with the eyes of your heart,

- not with the eyes of your head.

- Gotcha, yeah.

Your heart will never give you fear or pain -

if you know our way.

Ralph.

No, thanks, pal. Keep your friggin' jewel.

- No!

- Are you afraid?

I just had my feet resoled.

- What is the worst that can happen to you?

- I could wind up a Chicken McNugget.

- What is the best that could happen to you?

- I could get through this and find the Jewel.

It's your choice.

Look down.

Hot coals!

I did it! I did it! I'm one of us!

All right! Yeah!

Your fears - they make you foolish.

Go to her, Jack.

- I'm sorry I got people shooting at you again.

- You kidding?

We're the perfect couple

when we got people shooting at us.

- Just the slow times I'm not too good at.

- I guess I just expect too much.

Maybe we both expect too much.

Oh, boy.

Thank you for coming to Kadir with me.

This valley is gift of the Nile.

I've been away from here too long.

You know, I'm getting to like this guy Joe.

He's growing on me.

What do you say we cut him in

on this jewel, if we ever find it?

Jack...

We have the Jewel.

What are you talking about? Where?

Well, there.

- What, Joe's got the Jewel?

- No.

Joe is the Jewel.

Joe is the Jewel of the Nile?

He's a holy man. That's his religious title.

Joe is the Jewel.

Why didn't you tell me the truth?

Why'd you keep it from me?

Because I thought if you knew,

you wouldn't come with us.

Maybe I would've surprised you.

I think I've come through once or twice,

if I remember right.

I'm sorry.

You're right. You come through all the time.

It's funny.

I really thought we had a chance.

Look! The train to Kadir!

Come on, Jack.

Inshallah, we'll be there tonight.

- What a lot of people!

- They are going to see the false redeemer.

- Omar again, huh?

- We'll see about that.

Sh*t!

What are you doing?

Come on!

Jump!

No!

No! Hang on, Joan!

Jack, watch out!

It's...

Guys, wait up! Come on, Humphrey.

Go, go, go!

Do something!

What do you want me to do?

Colton!

Your ass is grass,

and I'm a lawn mower, Colton!

Colton, I'll get you! Colton, I'm on to ya!

Colton.

All right, yeah!

All right! Let's go, come on.

Let's get out of here!

Just-Joan, you're gre...

Welcome.

I don't usually travel by train,

but I had a small accident with my helicopter.

May we reach Kadir in time.

Once we get inside,

we must find the entrance to the catacombs.

T-shirts! Buy T-shirts!

Gimme the T-shirt.

I'll buy it, I'll buy it. Get outta here, will ya?

You know, I really admire

your loyalty to each other.

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