The Jewel of the Nile Page #5

And I'm going to give you a chance

to be together to the very end.

Well, not exactly.

One will watch the other die.

But which one?

Rachid.

- Is that the goat's blood?

- Yes.

Very popular

with the inhabitants of these catacombs.

- Rats.

- Yes. They eat until they get the last drop.

But don't worry, Mr Colton.

You won't be alone.

Rachid is now placing acid

that will eat through Miss Wilder's rope.

What kind of sick pervert

would go to this trouble?

- Why don't you shoot us?!

- Jack!

What kind of demented psychopath

would even think of this?

- The Savage Secret.

- What?

Was my biggest seller.

Think about this pit

as your last adventure, Joan Wilder.

My people await me.

What you talkin' about?

I work with professional people.

You tell His Highness

the show starts with him or without him.

Goddamn beanie convention.

Wind up goin' home with a rug.

The entrance!

Give me a red to the yellow. And cue!

I said give me a red gel down there!

And cue! For Gawd's sake, cue!

Build it, build it softly.

And give me some smoke.

That's good, that's good, that's very good.

Now, bring it up slowly.

There are many rooms and many ways.

You! You go this way.

And, you! You go this way.

And we:
We go this way.

Boy, it stinks in this place.

What looks good, amigo?

You go from this way. And... I go this way.

All right.

What a fruit loop.

- How'd they get out?

- What?

In The Savage Secret, how'd they get out?

Jesse had a knife hidden in his boot.

You wouldn't happen to have a knife,

would ya?

- I'm not even wearing underwear.

- Great!

No!

We were good together,

weren't we, Joan Wilder?

The best.

- And we're gonna make it.

- Yeah.

Oh, God. I love you, lady.

I love you, Jack.

Will you marry me?

- Yes!

- Because I never want you leaving me again.

You're notjust saying that

because this is it, are you?

I'm saying it

because I'm not afraid to say it any more.

So where do you wanna go

on our honeymoon?

Rats! Get out of here, you...

Goddamn rat farm! Go on!

- Ralph! Get us out of here, will ya?

- Ah! And there's the biggest rat of all.

Colton, look at you. You...

You don't know how many nights

I dreamed of this.

- Except your flesh was torn off your body.

- Ralph, please, just help us down.

Jack! Hold on!

Well, well, well, Colton.

I think this calls for a renegotiation.

Don't you, Tarzan? Huh?

This looks a little bit more like 70-30.

- Or maybe even 80-20.

- Ralph, will ya get the rats off that rope?!

- I don't go near rats, buddy.

- Ralph, do not be afraid.

Remember the Sufi way: See with your heart.

My heart sees rats, Pop.

Don't let this garb fool you.

Come on, Colton. Where's the Jewel?

Ralph, I am the Jewel. The Jewel of the Nile.

And I'm a kumquat from Queens.

Pipe down, towel-head!

- Come on, Ralph.

- Take the ladder and put it over the well.

- Please, don't let us die!

- That's a good idea, Legs.

I ain't gonna let you die, but I ain't movin' no

ladder until you come across with the rock!

Lookin' more like 90-10! Huh, kumquat?

- Did you get the ladder all right?

- Jack, help me unlock the Jewel.

The Jewel? You mean you weren't

shittin' me? That guy really is the Jewel?

Come on.

We still got time to stop Omar. Let's go.

Ralph, that is not the Sufi way.

I don't know what got into me, Jewels. Every

time I'm around this guy he makes me crazy.

Come on. Tell him to cut me down, Jewels.

Come on, huh?

Don't f*** around with the equipment!

Bloody woman!

Here they come, Jack.

Oh, my God. Look at this. Looks like

Our Lady of Mount Palmer schoolyard.

Hold it!

Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through.

Oh, Rachid.

How ya doin'? Let's talk this over

before you butcher me alive.

What are you getting so steamed about?

Look at that. It worked!

Get over the wall. Come on!

Get goin'.

Keep going.

I knew we'd hook up again, Colton. Get it?

I swear to God!

My right hand to God!

Come on!

I am dead, Miss Wilder.

All that will be written for Omar is an epitaph.

But I will not be alone.

Who is going to save you now?

Who?

Well, you got your story.

I got a lot more than that.

You are married!

Always a bridesmaid, never the bride.

As usual, it's zilch for poor Ralphie.

You are Sufi.

Keep it always.

Guys!

Sufis rule!

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