The Kids Are All Right Page #2

to eat or something?

You and your brother?

I just don't want you

to have big expectations.

Will you quit saying that?

I have no expectations,

all right?

Okay. I'm just saying.

He might be weird.

I mean, he donated sperm.

That's weird.

Well, you know,

if he hadn't, we wouldn't

be here, so respect.

Hello?

Hey. Hey.

You're Joni, right?

H i, I'm Joni.

I'm Paul. N ice to meet you.

N ice to meet you.

You must be Laser?

Laser, yeah.

Right on.

That's a very cool name.

Thanks.

Well...

Cool.

Yeah. Yeah.

Listen, you know, feel free

to ask me anything,

anything you want.

Cool, thanks. Yeah.

Cool.

Laser, do you have

any questions that

you wanna ask?

Go ahead, shoot.

Anything.

I didn't really have any,

you know, specific questions

or anything, so...

Nothing?

Not really.

Well, I mean,

I'd love to know more

about you guys.

Everything. I mean...

So what do you do, Joni?

What are you into?

I just graduated high school,

and I'm starting college

in the fall, so...

Hey, that's great.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Yeah,

Joni's the brains

in the family.

She's got the National

Merit Scholarship for science.

Shut the front door.

Okay, Laser, thanks.

Wow.

I'm just telling him

you're smart.

No, I just work

harder than you.

Hey, Laze, seriously,

don't sweat school, man.

I mean, I didn't do well in

school either, and I'm not

doing so badly now, right?

It's Laser. Yeah.

Sorry. Laser. Right.

It's cool.

So, what are you

into, Laser?

Laser's an amazing athlete.

Really? Yeah?

Did you ever play

any sports in school or...

I did a little

B-ball in junior high.

That's cool.

Was that it or...

Well, the whole "team" thing

just got on my nerves

after a while, you know?

It was like,

"Hey, let's go kick

some ass, man! " And...

What about you?

I play soccer,

basketball, baseball.

You know,

all the team

sort of sports.

Hey, man,

I wasn't generally

bagging on teams.

I mean, teams are great.

I'm just weird that way.

I like teams.

They're cool.

Cool.

So this is your

place, right?

Yeah, yeah, this is mine.

It's cool.

You know,

I've been working

on it for a while.

I also have a little

organic co-op farm just

up the street here.

Just keeping it kind

of local and organic

and simple,

American food.

That's so cool.

I'm totally into local.

- Yeah?

- You are?

Yeah, Laser.

I've been trying to get

Moms, you know,

to buy local for ages.

All right.

- We're just over here. There.

- Right. Yeah.

Okay.

Is that your bike?

Yeah, yeah.

You like motorcycles?

Yeah, I love them,

but, you know,

our moms are kind

of anti-motorcycle.

By "kind of" he means

that they'd kill us if

we ever rode one, so...

Oh, that's too bad.

They're a lot of fun.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Cool.

- Cool.

- Yeah.

It was great...

Great meeting you, yeah.

N ice to meet you, too.

Yeah. It's okay,

right? Good?

Yeah, for sure.

Hey, Laser,

really nice to meet you.

Yeah, you too.

- All right.

- All right.

So long.

Bye.

Keep in touch.

Yeah.

Okay?

Yeah.

Wow. I just never

pictured him that way,

you know?

He was so cool

and interesting.

Yeah, he's all right.

What do you mean

"all right"?

Laser, you're the one

who wanted to meet him

so bad.

I know.

Yeah, so what did

you think of him?

I think he's all right.

I mean, I think he's

a little into himself.

God.

What?

You're asking my opinion.

Whatever.

We are so not telling Moms.

Why not?

Ha, ha. Very funny.

He wants to die!

He wants to die.

Remind me not to take

heroin in Morocco.

Or Uganda.

Yeah. I hate it

when that happens.

...it is now time to call it.

Someone took my knife.

I want my knife back!

Hey, bug, come here.

We're watching

Locked Up Abroad.

I want my knife back!

Yeah, I've seen

that one. It's good.

Where you going?

Clay's.

Don't be back late.

I know, I know, I know.

Hey, hey. Come give us

a hug before you go.

H ugs.

Come on.

No, Mom.

Hug her. That's what

she's there for.

Maybe we should

just sit him down

and ask him already.

What? "Are you

and Clay f***ing?"

"Exploring" is

a better word.

Yeah, well, so, you know,

what if they are "exploring"?

This is the age for that.

We should be

good with that.

We should. We should.

I just don't understand

why he's exploring

with that loser.

We don't really know

what's going on. We shouldn't

jump to conclusions.

I feel like he has

so much potential.

He's just wasting it.

What are you

trying to say?

What do you mean,

what am I trying to say?

I just, you know,

I feel like there's

some subtext here.

What are you

talking about?

You know,

"like mother,

like son"?

Both of us wandering

in the dark, aimless,

"wasting our potential."

Honey, you're on

a whole other tangent.

I have no idea

what you're talking about.

Well, you know, maybe

it hasn't risen to the plane

of consciousness for you yet.

Yeah. Maybe.

Someone took my knife.

So what were they like?

They were

really sweet kids.

The boy was this little,

you know, kind of

sensitive jock-type kid,

and the girl was

really innocent

but just whip-smart

and super, super cute.

Sounds like you

really liked them,

like you guys connected.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I kind of did.

Wow.

So how'd you leave it?

I mean, are you

gonna see them again?

I... Hey, Brooke.

Hey, Paul.

Check these out.

- How you doing?

- Good.

Wow, look at those

strawberries, man.

They're just...

Aren't they beautiful?

I thought you should

have the first taste.

Thank you.

"I thought you should

have the first taste"

of my p*ssy.

I'm sorry.

Dude, I don't even

think they smoke pot.

Dude, hold up.

Come on, let's go.

Seriously.

Oh! Dude!

God, disgusting!

Come on, let's go.

It's alive, dude!

Put it back.

Fine, fine, fine.

Sweet!

Dude, we're watching this.

You think the whole

thing's like this?

Maybe...

Maybe we should

fast forward.

Laser, you left your bike

in the driveway again.

Laser, your mom

and I accept and love

you unconditionally.

You know that, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. And you know that

you can be open with us

about anything.

Yeah, I know.

Okay.

Laser, do you

want to talk to us

about anything?

Like what?

J ust anything.

You know, anything

on your mind.

Well, there is something.

But it's more of

a question, though.

That's okay.

We won't judge you.

Why do you guys

watch gay man porn?

Well, first I have to say

that we rarely watch

that movie.

Honey.

And, second,

I really don't

appreciate

you snooping around

our room, okay?

Was that Clay's idea?

No, Mom.

Wait a minute.

I have to say, again,

I don't like him.

I know. I know.

Okay, he seems unstable.

Honey, honey,

that's not what he asked.

Do you want to answer

his question?

Yeah, okay.

Well, sweetie, you know,

human sexuality

is complicated.

And sometimes desire can be,

you know, counterintuitive.

You know, for example,

because women's

sexual responsiveness

is internalized,

sometimes it's exciting

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