The Kitchen

---

Okay, do me a favor.

Don't do that here, huh?

If not here, then where?

If not now, then when?

Ready for some ambience?

Who isn't?

Drumroll? No? Okay.

Think the lights can sense

that it's not Christmas?

Goddamn it. All right.

How do I look?

Fine.

# Up from the basement

to my best friend's farm #

# Where we'll work so hard

We can do no harm #

# We'll till the land

and duck our debts #

# Underneath soft sun

chewing Nicorette #

# Yeah, this will be

a better year #

# This will be

a better year # Edwin.

I'm not sure if anyone

mentioned it to you,

but we're having

a birthday party here tonight.

- I'm assuming you own pants.

- [ Clears Throat ]

You're gonna kill all of us

in our sleep one night, aren't you?

[ Chuckles ]

# Oh, I keep pushing boulders #

# I stay game till sun'll

shake my shoulders #

# Oh, I keep feeling older #

# I stay game,

stay game, stay game #

- Why are you doing that there?

- If not here, then where?

If not now, then when?

Wait. Were you hanging

a new show at the gallery last night?

No. I was at Paul's.

Oh.

I don't think Paul is gonna stay for the party,

so just don't make a big deal about it, okay?

Why would I or anyone

care what Paul does?

Forget it.

I don't know.

# I'm sick of thee sheep

I'm sick of thou shepherd #

# Sick of dressing like a human

when I'm feeling like a leopard #

# I'm sick of slow rock

I'm sick of quick quips #

# Sick of holding on to nothing

when I just wanna... #

[ Man ]

Hey, look. It's Paul.

I hear you're not staying

for the big party tonight.

Most people hate an uncomfortable

silence, but it reminds me of home.

My dad didn't talk a whole lot.

Kenny.

Yeah?

F*** off.

Enough said.

See you two lovebirds later.

# Make a little money

Take a lot of sh*t #

# Feel real bad

Then get over it #

# This will be a better year #

- Can we just talk?

- Oh, my God. What more is there to say?

Look, it's okay

for you to be angry.

Thank you for allowing me

to feel my own emotions in my own house.

Party time, right?

Hey, how about Jennifer

opening her own gallery?

That's pretty crazy, right?

You've got to be

so happy for her.

You don't...

You don't look happy.

# Nah, nah #

# Nah, nah, nah,

nah-nah-nah, nah #

# Nah, nah #

# Nah, nah, nah #

# Nah-nah-nah, nah, nah #

# Nah, nah #

# Nah, nah, nah

nah-nah-nah, nah, nah #

What is going on with you?

This was supposed to be a surprise.

When were you gonna tell me?

Do you remember about 24 hours ago...

when I said

there was something I wanted to tell you...

and then you said

you had something you wanted to tell me...

and I said

that you should go first?

This is what

I wanted to tell you.

Look, can we just go

to your room? No. My sister's sleeping.

How about we take

a little walk? A nice stroll.

Talk it out.

I just keep thinking about how I

wasted two and a half years on you.

Please, we don't need

to go over this.

Just answer the question.

How many of my friends did you screw?

I'm trying to have a conversation.

You want to have an argument.

I'm going to take off. Good. There's an

actual birthday present I could use.

What are you going

to tell people? About what?

About why your boyfriend

isn't at your 30th birthday party.

Paul. I know that you're not this stupid.

I was honest with you.

Did someone actually hire a

f***ing band for this party?

What?

A band.

For your party.

This is Nikki.

She's... new girlfriend.

Hey.

So I should go, or...

[ Nikki ] We got you something.

Yep. It's a doormat.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

- This is so f***ed up, man.

- What is?

That you're going to pay

some other stupid band...

when Bite My Lower Lip

is dying for gigs.

- What the f***?

- Tony, Stan hired the band, okay?

- It's just my birthday.

I have no idea. - Happy Birthday.

Stan?

Where in the f*** is Stan?

You like to say "f***" a lot.

Not as much as I like to do it.

[ Giggles ] Mmm!

I just want to talk

to you alone, okay?

You're smoking now too?

I never stopped.

I just don't do it in front

of you 'cause I know how much you hate it.

It's like

I don't even know you.

I guess that

makes us both liars.

So I should go, I guess?

Is that what you want?

Paul.

You know what?

Do what you want.

I want you.

Oh, my God.

What? Right now I need to return

this to my next-door neighbors...

before they notice

it's missing.

What?

He's just

standing there watching us.

What's the deal, Paul?

Hey, if you're going to make out

like a couple of monkeys at the zoo,

you should expect people

to stare and throw peanuts at you.

She's, like, deathly allergic

to peanuts.

All right, calm down.

[ Stammering ]

Who the f*** is this?

What's up, man?

We're Coral Reef. We're the band.

Stan said

to set up out back. Yeah, whatever.

[ Tony ]

No, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Get your sh*t. We're leaving.

We just got here.

I am not sitting here and listening to a

bunch of hipsters do Beck covers all night.

- No way.

- I had to drive here from Long Beach.

I don't care. You can drive f***in'

back to Long Beach as far as I care.

If you want, stay with them.

Hang out.

Party. Have fun.

Help them clean up in the morning.

Have fun with Coral Reef.

[ Door Closes ]

Where did Jennifer go?

I don't know.

Do me a favor.

Watch the chili.

Stan, I'm taking off.

Why didn't you tell me

the band was here?

Stan.

Yeah?

The band's here.

Thanks, man.

[ Sizzling ]

# To eliminate the pressure

from the city #

# You don't have

to care about anyone #

# On stolen land #

# Shall we do this then? #

I'm watching the chili.

Watching it do what?

I'm not sure exactly.

What the hell is this?

Well, you told me not

to do my laundry in here.

You can't do that, okay?

We've got an Iraq veteran

coming tonight. So?

So you can't have pot

lying around.

Okay? The guy's

basically a cop. [ Chuckles ] No, he's not.

Speaking of which,

no antiwar bullshit from you tonight, okay?

Please?

I'm not staying. Don't worry about it.

What do you mean you're not staying?

No, you need to be here.

This is a big deal.

It's your girlfriend's 30th.

It's very special.

You got to be nice to her.

Are you checking

on the wings? I got it.

You should probably

put salt on... I got it under control.

I don't know.

I'm just... Okay.

- You look really tired.

- Thanks, Pam.

Yeah.

[ Kenny ]

Stan's totally in love with Jennifer.

You know that, right?

Yeah, I guess.

You guess?

Do you know how hard it is

to make that chili?

There are, like, 16 herbs

and spices in that.

That's five more

than the Colonel. [ Cell Phone Buzzes ]

Who's this?

Hey, guess what I did this weekend.

I've got to take this.

Hey!

[ Light Switch Clicks ]

# [ Indie Pop Intro ]

# I was beside myself #

# Yeah, I was in hell #

# As long as there was you

beside me #

# You were the girl I dreamed #

# Yet from another school #

# [ Indistinct ]

# I was #

# Feeling something good #

# As soon as you arrived #

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