The Kitchen Page #2

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# Still young

at love and life #

[ Chattering ]

- Hey. What are you doing?

- I'm having my post-nap snack.

It's, like, 7:
00.

I overslept.

I think somebody

stole your cigarettes. Oh.

Okay, here's the deal.

When Vladimir gets here,

I'm thinking that I might say...

- Is he here?

- Well, not yet.

But when he does get here,

at some point I'm gonna say,

"I think we should

do something together."

- What do you think?

- Well, what does that mean?

It means that I want him

to leave Pace...

and let me represent him at my new

gallery as my one and only client.

It kind of sounds like you

wanna have sex with him.

- Everything sounds

that way to you. - That might be true.

What I really want is to find an

artist that no one else appreciates.

"You," unknown artist,

name to be filled in later,

"have talent.

I think we should do

something together."

All right, come on, what happened with Paul?

I just saw him leave.

Paul left?

Do you want him here?

I don't want him here.

[ Sighs ]

No. Yeah.

No, you're right.

It's my party.

Of course I don't want him here.

Can't believe

he was cheating on you.

You should've just come straight home.

We ended up talking all night.

About what?

It was so weird. Just out of the blue.

He just told me

he was unfaithful.

And you had no idea?

No, I didn't.

Should you really

be doing that?

Speaking of Mom...

You know what I mean.

Aw. Pretty Penny.

Good late afternoon

slash early evening.

[ Jennifer ] What's up, Kenny?

So do you know,

uh, some army guy? He was in Iraq.

He's supposed

to be coming tonight. I don't think so.

I don't think I know anyone

in the army. Do you?

I live in Alabama.

Everyone's in the army.

[ Doorbell Rings ]

Is this gonna be a pajama party?

Should I go change?

[ Ringing ]

[ Ringing ]

Don't worry, guys. I'll get it.

[ Kenny ]

Oh. Take it. Sorry.

Thank you.

How's that wing?

Tastes like chicken.

So how long are we not gonna talk about

the one thing we should be talking about?

I thought we had a tacit agreement

that it should go unspoken.

Well, I don't exactly know

what "tacit" means.

Kenny.

Look, it's...

Every time you come and visit,

there's always a night...

where we end up

getting drunk, making out,

and it's been going on

for years. So?

I... Well, I think

we should stop.

Do you?

What I'd actually like

is to get to second base,

but seeing as how I don't

really know what that is,

and it'll be a little creepy to track down

a 12-year-old and ask him, uh, up here...

Kenny.

Yeah?

You're really hard to handle

first thing in the morning.

It's after 7:
00.

I'm gonna go get dressed.

I come with you.

That's okay.

I appreciate it though.

I can do it myself.

Do you want a beer?

Oh, yeah, sure.

And I brought this for you.

Oh, thanks.

Jennifer.

There you are.

Nancy.

Can I just get a moment

alone with Jennifer? Yeah, sure.

We're gonna talk about stuff

best friends talk about, you know.

What is your problem?

With the feathers.

It's like always a concert

on that girl's land. It's too much.

I got it. What is happening?

I'm thinking about dying my hair blonde.

Why would you do that?

Because it's a great idea.

What's on your face?

It's a mole.

And it's private. And it's beautiful.

I should tell you that

Vladimir is stopping by tonight.

To your party?

Yeah.

Why?

I'm stealing him from Pace.

Do you really think that's

a good idea right now?

You're starting

your own gallery.

Reads as a little bit impulsive to me.

What are you talking about?

If you ask Michael for your job back,

he would give it to you in a second.

You're stable, you turn 30,

and you're in a really good place.

You put on a business suit

and feel really good about yourself.

Why would I do that?

If I get Vladimir, then I'm set.

I really feel like I should be blonde.

I feel like this makes sense.

Can we get my hair done? 'Cause I feel

like the more we sit here and talk,

the slower it's gonna take

for me to look like you.

Yeah, let's go. Maybe we can put

another mole on your face too.

That's excessive.

What a terrible idea.

[ Chattering ] # All the pretty

girls on a Saturday night #

# So I call your name #

# Cross my fingers #

# Uncross the others,

hesitate #

# Oh, I don't think straight

with nothing to prove #

[ Chattering Continues ]

# I don't wanna say

I'm leaving #

# I will stay

until the weekend #

# And you can take

all the things #

# The boxes and rings

and get going #

# 'Cause I've been waiting for

all the pretty girls on a Saturday night #

# Let it be and come to me

with the look in your eyes #

Hello.

Thanks so much

for doing this. Yeah.

I'm so bad

at wrapping things. What did you get her?

Oh, you know,

it's nothing really.

Kim!

I know.

These must've cost, like,

a couple hundred dollars.

Well, they were on sale,

plus my discount, so it was cheaper.

Oh, my God. I'm sure she has

scissors and wrapping paper.

Ah! Ribbon.

Here's some.

Well, remind me to invite you

to my birthday party,

if these are

the kind of gifts you bring.

Amanda, can you...

keep a secret?

Absolutely not.

You know me.

Oh, that's true.

So how long

do we have to stay... I slept with Paul.

What?

I know. I know.

I've been dying to tell someone.

It's killing me, and I had to tell someone.

When was this?

Uh, it was just one time,

two Saturdays ago.

We were at this art opening,

and we both had too much wine,

which is not an excuse, but it's just...

it certainly didn't help things.

And there's always been this, like, weird

sexual tension between me and Paul.

You probably noticed it.

No, I haven't.

I thought everyone

could sense it. [ Clears Throat ]

So let me get this straight.

You sleep with Paul,

so Jennifer gets nice earrings?

Well, I want to tell her what I've

done, so we can, like, work it out,

and, you know, I hope,

renew and strengthen our friendship.

But I start, like, shaking,

just like imagining her

standing there...

and, like... and...

and, like, try to say

those... those words.

So I went with plan "B."

[ Laughs ] Now, does she get a gift

every time you sleep with Paul?

Is that, like, what you're gonna do now?

You know, you're so...

Kim!

Unhelpful!

Oh, Kim, come on, you're gonna

give her these earrings?

Hang on. I can't...

What's that?

Wait. I can't really hear you.

Hang on one sec.

What's that, Gran?

Yeah, no, I'm 30.

Pretty sure. Yeah.

Um, so I should probably...

No. No children as of yet.

I know. I...

Oh, Gran, Penny just got here

and she wants to talk to you.

Yes, she does. She does.

[ Quietly ] F***.

Hey, Gran, I'm gonna

call you tomorrow...

because it is

so crazy right now.

My friends are,

like, all around me.

And it's a...

it's a big, big party.

Mm-hmm.

I'll call you tomorrow. Love you too.

I'm 30. Yeah.

I know. Children.

Okay, bye.

Penny said you

were on the phone with your grandma.

She didn't wanna talk to me?

Oh, you know, she had to go.

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