The L-Shaped Room

Do you wanna know, darling, eh?

You wanna watch it, darling.

You'll get done up one of these nights.

Yes.

Well, you'll be very happy with us, dear.

We're just one big happy family here.

Been looking long have you?

Er, no. Not long.

I have been looking, of course.

Oh, yes?

Been looking, have you? Yes.

Well, I know what it's like, dear.

Especially the prices

some of them charge.

They take advantage, you know, dear.

Yes, really take advantage.

You married, dear?

No, I'm not married.

Oh. On your own are you?

Oh, well, that's nice, isn't it?

Not the bulb. Just the switch.

There we are. Nearly there.

Still, it's nice and private, isn't it?

I always think these top rooms

are the nicest, myself.

You don't get too much noise, do you?

And plenty of fresh air.

That's right, dear. We're here now.

The bathroom's downstairs,

you know, for proper washing, like,

but you've got a sink up here

for your, er, other ablutions and that.

I had it put in, but of course they don't

appreciate it, do they, some people?

It's all been properly cleaned

since the last, er...

You there, dear? Ah.

I've cleaned it all up.

It's all spotless now.

And of course everything's provided.

I get a good class here, you know?

Never have any trouble.

Yes, always cater for good class.

Soon as they're empty,

they're snapped up, my rooms.

Sometimes

I've hardly time to change the sheets.

How much...

- How much is the room?

- What, dear?

Well, how much

did you think of paying, dear?

I haven't made up my mind yet.

I have other rooms to see.

Well, I don't suppose

you'll see anything better, dear.

You're not English, are you, dear?

- No, I'm French.

- Oh, French? Oh, yes?

Well, that's nice, isn't it?

Nice to travel.

You, er, wouldn't think 3 too much,

would you, dear?

Yes, I'm afraid I would.

Well, thank you for letting me

see the room, anyway.

Well, now, let's think.

Don't wanna overcharge you, do I?

Don't wanna take advantage.

How about 50 bob then,

seeing as we won the war together?

Er, 50 bob? Is that 2?

- Aren't you familiar with our money?

- Is it 2?

- What, dear?

- What you just said.

Now listen, dear.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I mean, I'd like you to take the room.

I've taken a liking to you, see.

I'm not like some. I never close my door

to the nigs and that.

Seeing as you don't want

to look any further, two guineas.

How would that be, eh?

You know what two guineas are,

don't you, dear?

It's 42 shillings payable in advance.

Yes. All right.

- You'll take it, will you?

- Yes.

Well, now. You counted

that out all right, didn't you, dear?

I'm sure you'll soon get the hang of it.

Every Friday.

- Got some belongings have you?

- Er, yes. I have to go and get my things.

I see. You're living somewhere

at the moment, are you? That's nice.

Just wanted somewhere better, I suppose.

Well, that's natural.

All right, then, dear. I'll leave you to it.

Got something on the stove downstairs.

Anyway, I expect you wanna start

making the place look a bit more like home.

Down 'ere, dear,

if you're looking for Sonia.

- Hello? Yes.

- 'Is Sonia there?'

- Who?

- 'Sonia.'

Oh. Hold on, please.

- You want to give that a good bash.

- Oh.

Sonia? Telephone.

Tell him to ring back.

- Tell him I'm busy. You know.

- Oh.

Hello?

Could you ring back in half an hour?

She's busy at the moment.

- 'Half an hour, eh?'

- Er, half an hour.

- 'Thanks very much.'

- You're welcome.

Ooh!

- Yes?

- Ooh!

Come in.

Come in!

Who is it?

Oh, hell. What's going on here then?

- Is this yours?

- Er, yes, thank you.

- What is it?

- What it says on the label.

- Very cheap red wine.

- It wasn't a good year when I kicked it.

- You trying to post it under the door?

- Er, no. I fell. The light went out.

Ah. Here.

Thank you.

Ooh.

Hello there.

Sorry, love. Did I disturb you?

No. I'm just gonna

make a cup of cocoa and go to bed.

I say, you were playing

to packed houses last night.

The phone never stopped ringing for you.

Something special on?

Yeah. Business Efficiency Exhibition,

Earl's Court. Always means a rush.

Lots of business and not much efficiency.

Suppose not.

See ya, love.

Morning, Mavis, love.

What news from the front line, then?

Oh, nothing, dear,

except Benjy's off his food again.

You're not going to the shops, are you?

You couldn't get me a tin of Kitekat?

It's the only thing he'll eat since I got the telly.

I'll give you the money later.

You'll have to or else split the tin.

No news then? About work I mean?

Work? Oh, no, dear.

No, no.

They said I did a very good audition.

But they wanted someone a bit...

I... I think they wanted a name.

Never mind, love. I'll write you

a star part one of these days.

Look what Mother's got, Benjy.

Come along!

Now wait a minute. Wait, wait.

Over. There's a clever boy.

Like a cup of tea?

Hm.

Hm!

Oh, I'm sorry. That was me. I...

I pinched the bulb last night

cos mine had gone. Erm...

- Look, hang on. I'll put it back.

- It's all right. Don't bother.

Al right, I'll tell you what.

Let me go ahead, OK?

- You've got the top room, haven't you?

- Er, yes.

- Do you know who had it before you?

- No.

An old girl called Mrs Williams.

Decayed gentry.

Well, no, not gentry, really.

Sort of next drawer down.

Go ahead.

Needless to say, she wasn't even

bottom drawer by the time she reached here.

She'd fallen through the whole lot

into the floor.

I think she knew where the body was buried

because she never paid Doris any rent.

- What do you think of our lovely Doris?

- She seems like quite a character.

You stay here long enough,

she'll seem like a right pain in the arse.

Listen, er, what's that accent?

What accent have you got?

Er... French I suppose.

Ah. Oh, you're French, are you?

Yes. It's odd, but French people often do

talk with a French accent.

Look... Seeing I've come this far,

do you mind if I have a dekko at your room?

Old Mrs Williams used to behave as though

it was full of heads she'd shrunk.

- It's just an ordinary room.

- Good. Well, as long as you don't mind.

God almighty! Bloody sight worse than mine

and that's saying something.

- And of course it hasn't got you.

- No, that's true.

You gotta hand it to old Doris.

It takes genius to actually get rent

for something like this. Bloody genius!

Hello. Where does that go to?

Ah, yes, I see. Short end of the wedge.

Ah.

You, er... don't wanna offer me

a glass of wine, do you?

I mean, you mustn't feel embarrassed

because we've only just met.

I'm not proud.

My name's Toby Coleman by the way.

As in mustard.

Look, I'm not on the make

or anything like that. Far from it.

All passion spent, you know.

You, er, wanna offer me a glass of wine?

No. Not particularly, Mr Coleman.

No? Oh, that's fair enough.

You didn't mind me asking, did you?

No. I just wonder

who you're trying to impress, hm?

Nobody. Just being social, that's all.

You see, I write. I'm a writer.

Well, part-time. Trying to be.

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