The L-Shaped Room Page #6

Both too good for each other.

We've got each other.

Or at least you've got me.

If you want me.

So what do we do?

I don't know. I want you to tell me.

What about, love? You and me?

Anything.

One can't be brave all the time.

Only in small closes.

I'll tell you something about me.

Every time I touch you I want you.

I ache sometimes, you know?

And I lie downstairs and...

...I can't pretend anymore.

I don't write. I...

I don't do anything anymore.

That hurt your eyes?

Yes.

Toby...

Yes, darling?

Make it all come right.

Make what come right, darling?

Everything.

I'll make you a promise.

The first thing you'll hear

when you wake up...

...will be me telling you I love you.

Some of the stuff they put in here...

Can't credit it.

Any more tea?

I don't know how people can read it.

More tea. What's up with you?

Nothing.

Toby?

Johnny?

Go away.

What's the matter?

Hey, Johnny, what's the matter?

I want to ask you something.

- What you want?

- Hey, what's the matter with you?

Have I done something to offend you?

Yes.

Yes, you done something offend me.

You done something last night

offend any decent people.

Listen, Johnny.

What happens between two people

only concerns them.

If you hadn't been in this room here,

you wouldn't have known.

You think that make it all right?

If nobody know?

But why should it upset you so much?

Toby and I are the same two people

we were yesterday.

People don't change

just because you know more about them.

We're still your friends.

It's not the same.

I don't know you from yesterday.

How you think I feel

lying there listening?

My friends. My friends!

I... I had a good friend in Toby.

He always...

He always talked to me before.

How do you think I feel

knowing you heard?

It still isn't a crime.

People have...

Where's Toby?

Do you know where Toby is?

I don't know.

Didn't you see him?

Didn't he leave any message?

Why don't you go look in the basement?

Maybe he's down there.

What do you mean?

With the other whores.

Toby!

It's Jane, Benjy.

Jane from upstairs, going out.

A lot of coming and going tonight, Benjy.

Yes? Who is it?

- You knock on the wrong door, did you?

- No.

I think you did, dear.

- Are you from upstairs?

- Yes.

Well, come on in, love,

if you're coming.

I can't stand at the door, see,

cos of my chest.

Besides, you never know,

I might get pinched.

Sorry it's such a mess.

As a matter of fact, I just got up.

Not been sleeping too well lately.

Do you ever have that? Not sleeping?

I've tried everything.

Well, what can I do for you then, dear?

- Like a nice cup of tea?

- Thank you.

I'm just gonna wake Jane up.

She's the girl I share this flat with.

We always have a cup of tea

round about now.

Nice kid. Hungarian she is.

That's near you, i'n't it?

Came over with the refugees

just after the, erm... what is it?

Evolution? You hear about that?

Ah, well, you know how it is.

Things that don't concern you,

the papers and that.

You don't always read 'em, do you?

Do sit...

Oh, I'm sorry it's such a mess.

I used to have a lovely place up west.

Real nice. Silk sheets and all that.

Could've invited the Queen Mum to tea.

Did you, er, say

what you came down here for?

Oh, no. I, erm...

I was wondering if you'd have some...

some pennies for the gas meter.

That's all right, dear. I don't mind.

I mean, I know that's not the real reason.

You'd have said so at the door if it was.

What are you?

Actress or something?

Oh, no.

One of them writers then, like old Toby.

You met Toby?

Nice boy. Promised to put me

in one of his books one of these days.

Well, I mean, I don't mind.

It's no skin off my nose, is it?

Jane? Tea's up!

That's not her real name.

I couldn't pronounce her real name,

so I called her Jane,

cos, well, she's a bit

of a plain Jane, you know.

What's your name, dear?

Jane.

Oh. Yeah, well, I never did charm

any birds off the trees.

Sorry, dear. Nothing personal.

Are you a writer then?

No. I'm not anything, really.

Oh, it's not that I'm fishing.

Nothing like that.

It's just that when you get actresses

and that playing a prossie on the telly

and writers wanting the gen.

I mean, I don't mind.

I'll talk to anybody.

I went to see

one of them head-shrinkers once.

I gave him his little notebook full.

It's just that it seems silly to me.

I mean, how can you actually know

what it's like without trying it?

Jane? Come on, dear?

Likes her kip that one.

Well, go on. Ask me.

- Ask you what?

- What you came down here for.

How did I start?

Oh, darling.

Starting's the easy part.

It's keeping going that bothers you.

No, I started during the war, actually.

The first one was a Yank.

I thought a lot of him.

Got killed somewhere or other.

Nice boy.

Had nice manners.

Not that I was forced into it

through grief or anything.

Nothing like that.

Nothing as corny as that.

No, to tell you the truth,

there were one or two others after him.

While he was overseas. Before I knew

about him being dead, I mean.

I suppose the truth is

I just plain liked it.

In those days anyway.

Seems funny now, looking back.

You don't like it anymore?

What, er...?

No, it doesn't mean a thing, dear.

One way or the other. Good Lord, no.

I'd go mad if it did.

No, the hardest part's keeping

a straight face.

And if you aren't enjoying it yourself,

you can't help thinking how funny they are

when they're at it.

I mean, it is funny, really, i'n't it?

Undignified, like. More tea, dear?

- Oh, no, thank you.

- Oh, I love my tea.

Don't care much for the other,

but I couldn't do without my tea.

No... Girl I knew once,

Holy Roman Irish she was.

She used to say

that God thought it up as a joke.

When He found

that people were taking it serious,

He was that put out,

He turned it into a sin.

'Course she meant it underneath.

Used to cry her eyes out sometimes.

Said she'd be in purgatory

for about a million years.

I used to tell her,

"Can't be worse than here."

But she se...

She seemed to think so.

I mean...

Fancy believing in a God like that.

Look at the time.

My first will be here in ten minutes.

- You don't mind if I throw you out?

- No, no.

Good bye.

Jane, dear, don't let the customers

catch you like that.

I'm sorry.

I'm very sorry.

Janey? You hear me?

Yes, Johnny.

I'm very sorry.

Forgive me?

Yes, I forgive you, Johnny.

You're not a...

You're not a whore.

I was just angry when I say that.

But I got something else to tell you.

Something gotta be told about Toby.

I told him you're a whore.

What did he say?

He say I'm a liar.

He says just because he stay with you

don't make you a whore.

So then I tell him.

Tell him what?

About the baby.

I tell him about the baby.

How do you know about that?

I know a long time.

I hear you being sick in the morning.

I just know.

And then he went away?

Yes.

You still forgive me?

What?

Oh, yes.

I... I didn't hear you.

I said yes.

I forgive you.

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