The Ladykillers

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GOOD MORNING. GOOD

MORNING, MR. WILLIAMS.

GOOD MORNING, MA'AM.

GOOD MORNING.

MORNING, MRS. WILBERFORCE.

GOOD MORNING, MR. BROWN.

MORNING, MADAM.

GOOD MORNING.

FETCH THE SUPERINTENDENT.

TELL HIM IT'S MRS. WILBERFORCE.

- GOOD MORNING, MA'AM.

- GOOD MORNING, SERGEANT.

AH, GOOD MORNING,

MRS. WILBERFORCE.

VERY NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

GOOD MORNING, SUPERINTENDENT.

IT'S ABOUT MY FRIEND AMELIA

AND THE SPACESHIP...

SPACESHIP? THAT SHE SAW IN HER

GARDEN LAST WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON.

SHE HASN'T SEEN IT AGAIN?

SHE NEVER SAW I IN THE FIRST PLACE.

OH, I'M VERY RELIEVED

TO HEAR THAT.

ON WEDNESDAY IN CHILDREN'S HOUR, THEY

WERE DOING A LITTLE PLAY CALLED...

VISITORS FROM OTHER WORLDS.

AMELIA HAD HER WIRELESS ON.

IT'S OBVIOUS.

SHE DROPPED OFF TO SLEEP.

THE WHOLE THING:

WAS JUST A DREAM.

AMELIA WAS SO EMBARRASSED.

SHE QUITE REFUSED TO COME HERE

TO TELL YOU HERSELF.

WELL. I DO HOPE ALL SORTS

OF OFFICIAL WHEELS...

HAVEN'T BEEN SET IN MOTION. NOW,

YOU MUSTN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT, MA'AM.

I'M VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU

FOR THIS ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.

NOW, IF YOU'LL ALLOW ME,

I'LL SEE YOU TO THE DOOR.

BUT AS I WAS WITH HER

WHEN SHE CAME TO REPORT IT,

I THOUGHT IT NO MORE THAN MY

DUTY TO COME HERE AND EXPLAIN.

I MUST SAY, IF THERE ARE

ANY BEINGS ON OTHER WORLDS,

I CAN'T THINK WHY THEY'D WAN TO COME TO OUR WORLD, CAN YOU?

NOW YOU MENTION IT,

MA'AM, I CAN'T EITHER.

WE SEEM SO TERRIBLY

OVERCROWDED ALREADY, DON'T WE?

IT WAS DIFFERENT WHEN I

WAS A GIRL, QUITE DIFFERENT.

SUPERINTENDENT. AH, YOUR UMBRELLA,

MA'AM. YOU LEFT IT BEHIND.

I'M ALWAYS LEAVING IT.

I DON'T LIKE IT VERY MUCH,

REALLY. PERHAPS THAT'S THE REASON.

WELL, I WON'T KEEP YOU,

SUPERINTENDENT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH

FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING.

THANK YOU, MRS. WILBERFORCE,

FOR BEING SO HELPFUL.

WE'RE ALWAYS MORE

THAN PLEASED TO SEE YOU.

THANK YOU.

MISS WHIPPLE, HAS THERE BEEN

ANYONE ABOUT THE ADVERTISEMENT?

NEVER MIND.

THANK YOU ALL THE SAME,

MISS WHIPPLE.

HERE WE ARE. COME ON

THEN. COME ON. HERE WE ARE.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

PRETTY POLLY.

ALL RIGHT, MY DEAR.

I HAVEN'T BEEN GONE SO VERY

LONG, HAVE I? PRETTY POLLY.

OH, DARLING. WATER.

HELP, HELP!

? THAT'S THE TIME

THEY LONG FOR?

HELP!

HEY, OVER HERE.

MRS. WILBERFORCE?

YES?

I UNDERSTAND:

YOU HAVE ROOMS TO LET.

OH, THE ROOMS, YES. WON'T YOU

COME IN, PLEASE? THANK YOU.

MY NAME'S MARCUS.

HOW DO YOU DO, MR. MARCUS?

PROFESSOR MARCUS. OH,

HOW DO YOU DO, PROFESSOR?

YES, I HAVE TWO,

RIGHT BACK- YES.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME A MOMEN WHILE I PUT THIS AWAY, PLEASE?

I'M AFRAID IT'S QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO

MAKE IT HANG EVENLY, PROFESSOR MARCUS.

BECAUSE OF THE SUBSIDENCE.

SUBSIDENCE?

FROM THE BOMBING.

NONE OF THE PICTURES WILL.

YOU HAVE NO OTHER LODGERS?

OH, NO. THE UPPER FLOORS ARE

NO LONGER STRUCTURALLY SOUND.

BUT THE TWO ROOMS AT THE REAR,

THEY'RE QUITE ALL RIGHT.

THEN YOU LIVE HERE ALL ALONE? YES.

I THINK I SHOULD TELL YOU, PROFESSOR, I'M

UNABLE TO PROVIDE BREAKFAST OR EARLY MORNING TEA.

THIS IS THE SITTING ROOM.

AND THE BEDROOM:

IS JUST DOWN HERE.

THESE ROOMS DO NEED

AN AIRING, DON'T THEY?

I'M AFRAID THERE'S

NO PROPER SERVICE.

AND THE VIEW IS, WELL-

MOST EXHILARATING.

THE ROOMS WILL SUIT ME

ADMIRABLY, MRS. WILBERFORCE.

OH.

I SHALL MOVE IN TOMORROW IF THA IS CONVENIENT TO YOU. TOMORROW?

OH.

HELLO.

WHAT'S THAT?

WHO'S TALKING?

IT'S ONLY GENERAL GORDON.

HE BELONGED TO MY LATE HUSBAND.

I HAD FOUR.

HUSBANDS?

NO, PARROTS. AND NOW

I'VE ONLY THREE. PARROTS.

OF COURSE, ONE SMALL POINT,

MRS. WILBERFORCE.

SOME FRIENDS AND I HAVE FORMED

A SMALL MUSICAL GROUP.

A STRING QUINTET, IN FACT.

THEN YOU'RE A MUSICIAN,

A PROFESSOR OF MUSIC?

NO, NO, NO. MERELY AN

AMATEUR, YOU UNDERSTAND.

BUT WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING

FOR SOMEWHERE TO PRACTICE.

NOW, WOULD IT BE AGREEABLE TO YOU IF

- IF YOU WERE TO PRACTICE HERE?

OH, PROFESSOR MARCUS,

I SHOULD BE DELIGHTED.

I'VE ALWAYS LOVED MUSIC.

NOW, IF YOU'LL COME INTO MY

SITTING ROOM, I'LL FIND YOU A KEY.

I'VE GOT A SPARE ONE HERE

SOMEWHERE IN MY DESK.

I'LL LET YOU HAVE IT.

THEN YOU CAN LET YOURSELF IN...

SHOULD I HAPPEN TO BE OU WHEN YOU ARRIVE.

YOU KNOW, I SHALL BE ABLE TO

LET MY FRIENDS IN OF AN EVENING.

THEY CAN COME AND GO

WITHOUT DISTURBING YOU.

OH, IT WOULDN' DISTURB ME IN THE LEAST.

I HAVE VERY FEW FRIENDS. IT'LL BE VERY

PLEASANT HAVING SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE AGAIN.

THESE ARE MY THREE

LITTLE COMPANIONS.

YOU SEE?

THIS IS GENERAL GORDON,

THAT'S ADMIRAL BEATTY

AND THIS ONE IS CALLED...

MILDRED.

I SHOULD LIKE TO PAY

A FEW WEEKS IN ADVANCE.

THREE GUINEAS, I THINK THE

- NO, PLEASE. THAT WILL DO QUITE WELL WHEN YOU COME TOMORROW.

I SHALL HAVE THE ROOMS AIRED.

IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO,

I DO HOPE YOU WON' HESITATE TO ASK.

YOU ARE MOST KIND.

AND IF I MAY SAY SO,

YOU HAVE A VERY CURIOUS

AND CHARMING HOUSE.

SUCH PRETTY WINDOWS.

THANK YOU. I'M RATHER

AFRAID THE POSITION-

I ALWAYS THINK THE WINDOWS

ARE THE EYES OF A HOUSE.

AND DIDN'T SOMEONE SAY, "THE

EYES ARE THE WINDOWS OF THE SOUL"?

I DON'T REALLY KNOW, BU IT'S SUCH A CHARMING THOUGHT.

I DO HOPE:

SOMEONE EXPRESSED IT.

WELL,AU REVOIR.

GOOD MORNING, PROFESSOR

MARCUS. TILL TOMORROW.

DID YOU UNDERSTAND ALL THAT?

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE

A GUEST IN THE HOUSE.

? BUT I SAW THEM LAST NIGH HAVING, OH, SUCH A TIME?

? IN THE TWILIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, MRS. WILBERFORCE.

I'LL ANSWER IT.

IT MUST BE MY FRIENDS.

AH, GOOD EVENING,

MAJOR COURTNEY.

GOOD EVENING, PROFESSOR.

I HOPE I'M NOT TOO EARLY.

NOT AT ALL. NOT AT ALL.

MRS. WILBERFORCE,

MAY I PRESENT MAJOR COURTNEY?

HOW DO YOU DO, MRS.

WILBERFORCE? I'M HONORED.

COME IN, GENTLEMEN.

COME IN.

MAY I INTRODUCE MR. LAWSON? HOW

DO YOU DO, GENTLEMEN? MR. LAWSON.

AND MR. ROBINSON.

MRS. WILBERFORCE.

- MR. ROBINSON.

- ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE THE CELLIST, MR. LAWSON?

- UH, WHAT, MA'AM?

HE'S THE CELLIST. YEAH. I'M THE, UH-

THERE'S ONLY MR. HARVEY TO COME.

I THINK PERHAPS WE MIGHT, UH,

GO UPSTAIRS.

YES. YES.

EXCUSE ME, MRS. WILBERFORCE.

OH, I'M SO SORRY, MAJOR.

HERE.

WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT, DOC?

TAKE OUT YOUR INSTRUMENTS.

NOT "DOC" THIS TIME, HARRY.

PROFESSOR.

GOOD EVENING, MR. HARVEY.

IT IS MR. HARVEY, ISN'T IT?

YES, IT IS MR. HARVEY.

COME IN. COME IN.

THE OTHERS ARE ALL HERE.

OUR MRS. WILBERFORCE.

THE TEMPERAMENTAL ONE.

OH.

I DO HOPE YOU'LL BE

COMFORTABLE, GENTLEMEN. UPSTAIRS.

AND I DO WISH YOU WELL

WITH YOUR EFFORTS.

PROFESSOR MARCUS

HAS TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.

I REALLY MUST JUST TELL YOU

HOW VERY HAPPY I AM...

- TO HAVE YOU ALL HERE.

- THANK YOU.

WHO'S SHE?

WHAT DOES SHE MEAN

YOU TOLD HER SO MUCH ABOUT US?

WE SUPPOSED TO MAKE NOISES

WITH THESE THINGS?

WHAT KIND OF NOISES?

WHO IS SHE?

NOT NOISES,

ONE ROUND, MUSIC.

I SAID, WHAT DOES SHE MEAN, YOU

- SHH.

I TELL YOU,

IT MAKES NO SENSE.

IF WE HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO BRING

OUT THE MONEY, LET'S GET A PROFESSIONAL.

WE'LL BRING IT OUT OURSELVES. MAKE

A SPECTACULAR GETAWAY, YOU MEAN.

AT 70 MILES AN HOUR IN THE HEAR OF LONDON IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.

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