The Largest Theatre in the World: Heart to Heart Page #12

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cannot answer, Sir Stanley?

Hello, DOM?

I see I've got to watch my step a bit

with you, young fella.

Nearly fell into that, didn't I?

Oh, you can ask me

any damn question you like.

Can I say that on television?

Well, I've said it now, haven't I?

I'll give you as straight an answer

as I can.

And, of course, we all know

from your reputation

just how straight those answers will be.

Now, sir, I was privileged to hear

your speech...

All right so far.

Are you still there, DOM?

...in which you talked about corruption.

I think that was the word you used,

wasn't it? Corruption?

-Three, change lens.

-That was the exact word I used.

What particular form of corruption

had you in mind?

Ah, there's corruption all around,

isn't there?

Yes, all around.

I think this is the age of affluence,

isn't it?

The age of "I'm all right, Jack and

what's in it for me?"

Yes, what's in it for me?

I remember you did use that phrase,

Sir Stanley. "What's in it for me?"

And, to you, that phrase...

What's that piece of paper

he's looking at?

JOHNSTON:
Yes, it typifies

the spirit of the age...

How do I know what the piece

of paper is? I'm producing a show here.

Four, two-shot, medium close.

But then, I'd willingly give up

both the job and the money.

Who knows, one day I may have to,

rather than conduct

an interview corruptly.

You mean, if someone came to you

and said,

"Well, look, young man,

it would be worth

"say 5,000 to me, not to say

"what you know about

something or other."

No, let's put it higher.

Let's say, 10,000.

There's no need to go any higher, sir.

I'd spit in his eye.

What? On television in front of

15 million viewers?

I might wait till after the broadcast.

Well, we can take it that

you are not corrupt then, I suppose.

No. But, then I'm not particularly

honest either.

It's just that I have

one or two principles,

one of which I'm not prepared to betray.

But this interview isn't about me,

Sir Stanley. It's about you.

So let's get back to this word,

"Corruption".

I have one particular question.

Now, just a minute.

Which of these cameras is on us?

Is it this one or is it this one?

-It's the one with the red light...

-Prepare to blackout.

-Could I have it in close, please.

-Hold it!

-I'll tell you when. Hold it now!

-Show this young fella any more.

Now, I'm...

-I'm fairly certain...

-Track in on victim. Full close-up.

When I say that we're all

getting a bit tired

of this trial by television.

Mind you, he's so artful, this one,

I daresay you didn't know

it was a trial.

Good!

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

I'm sorry for this.

This is not what you expected.

And, to be frank and honest,

it is not what I expected either.

I am quite frank and honest, you know.

In spite of what this young man

would have told you

to the contrary, if I'd let him go on

with his interview.

It's still on, isn't it?

And the sound's on, too?

Good, because I want everyone

to hear this.

It's a bit hot under these lights.

Excuse me.

Cancel that. Now, cancel that order!

Keep the sound on

and get the camera in closer.

Explained by me because

from him, if I had let him go on

the way he was going,

you would have got something

a bit distorted, a bit twisted around,

a bit, well, you know,

intellectual-like.

No, that's not guilty conscience.

It's just that these lights are ruddy

hot and for an old geezer like me,

who doesn't usually say no

to the odd pint of beer,

it's ruddy uncomfortable,

to say the least.

Well, oh...

Sorry for not making this sound

a bit more

elegant and graceful, you know,

the way you're accustomed to seeing and

hearing politicians on the telly screen.

That's the sort of chap I am and

you'll just have to take me or leave me.

Well, you'll probably leave me.

Because I've got a confession to make

and it isn't a very nice one,

I'll grant.

But before I make it,

I'd better tell you this.

I'm handing in my resignation as

Minister of Labour to the Prime Minister

tomorrow morning.

It'll be up to him

to accept it or reject it,

whatever he feels is right.

You can pretty well bet

that what he feels is right

is what you feel is right.

Well, here goes.

Now, this young man here,

who I hope you can't see

because I never want to see him again,

I tell you that,

has got hold of a document.

A photostat of a hotel bill,

the Mirabeau in Cannes,

that's in the South of France,

where the wife and I took ourselves

a bit of a spree some years ago.

She was a bit run down

and needed the rest and I,

well, with me,

what the wife says usually goes.

But the point is this,

ladies and gentlemen,

that bill is signed Manuel Lopez.

You won't remember that name,

but he was pretty well the villain

of something called

the Appleton Commission,

which was about how

we'd all taken bribes

at the Board of Trade or something.

(COUGHING)

Looking forward to that pint,

I tell you.

Well, of course,

we hadn't taken bribes, any of us,

it was all proved at that time.

But I'm afraid I made a bit of a boob.

Well, you may think it was something

a good deal worse.

I wouldn't blame you if you did.

And so may the Prime Minister.

But I accepted this chap Lopez's offer

for a bit of extra foreign currency.

I didn't know

the first thing about it, mind.

The only connection between him

and the Board of Trade, well,

you can see me falling for that old one.

But I did know

that, in accepting his signature

on my bill,

and paying him back in Sterling,

I was technically contravening

the currency regulations

that were in force at that time.

Reaction David on Four,

you've got a good close-up.

Controller's orders, stay on victim.

Since when was Stockton

made the producer of this show?

-All right, all right, forget it.

-Forget it, Four. We're staying on two.

And that's what this young man

had against me.

And what he was planning

to reveal to you

by showing you a close-up of this.

This is the bill signed by Lopez.

How could he have fallen for that?

Getting closer. Try and pick up

the signature on that bill.

Well, that's the signature

"Manuel Lopez".

And it's genuine.

I could have said it was a forgery

and try to bluff it out but

that's not quite my style.

Oh, if I've done something wrong,

and this was wrong,

the fact that at that time

it was being done by

thousands of people every day

-doesn't make it any the less wrong.

-Leave the paper in his hand.

-Up on his face, as close as possible.

-Can't get right inside, can you?

No but that sweat could just help.

That's honest Stan's honest pint

coming out.

So, even that makes good television

and this is great, lady, it's great!

'Cause the wife did need

that holiday, you know.

She really did need it,

and needed it bad because,

well, I don't know, perhaps

some of you saw a picture in

tonight's evening papers

of the two of us

with our cat, James.

We love James, the wife and I.

I like dogs, too, of course, but,

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