The Largest Theatre in the World: Heart to Heart Page #3

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Well, couldn't you have

watched it with them?

-They hate television.

-Oh, I see.

No, they just won't do.

-What won't do?

-These curtains.

You're ruffling my hair.

There was a time when you

liked it being ruffled.

Well, in those days it started that way

and stayed that way.

And I preferred it that way.

Why won't they do?

It's too big an expense to cover

with just one plain colour.

They make the room look cold and bare.

The Wilkinsons hated them.

The Wilkinsons seems to hate

a lot of things.

-Oh, they're sweet people.

-I know you think so.

Darling, they're great friends

of Barbara Milchester.

Well that makes you

and Barbara Milchester

who think they're sweet.

Personally, I think they're ghastly.

In my ideal test team of cracking bores,

they go first for England.

We can't have any new curtains in

this room until those are paid for

-and that's flat.

-(PHONE RINGING)

Yes. What is it? Yes, William.

-What lady?

-Says she's got to see you.

Matter of life and death.

Something about your programme

tomorrow night about Sir...

Sir Stanley Johnson.

No, that's why I have kept her here

in the front lobby,

because I knew you always slip in

at the back.

Well, it's just that they don't usually

come as late as this.

Well, tell her to write in to BTV

in the usual way.

Or if she wants something more personal,

she can always get her head well down

in the scrum outside

the studio gates tomorrow night.

All right.

-What's that you're drinking?

-Orange squash.

-Why?

-Because I'm thirsty.

I mean, why not whisky as usual?

Because I've had far too many whiskies

as usual already.

You sounded to me just now

as if you've haven't had enough.

I was lurching about till I had

a sandwich and three espressos

on the way home.

Also I boobed on part of

the interview tonight.

Dried on Stanley Johnson's name,

Stanley Johnson. (EXCLAIMS).

Mind you, it's their damn silly fault.

I'm expected to keep an air of dignity

and mystery about me,

and yet spark their idiotic plugs

for them.

I should have refused to do it

in the first place.

Come to think of it, in the next series

I ruddy well will.

Are you listening to a word I'm saying?

Yes, you're not going to do the new plug

for them in the next series

and quite right, too.

Are you sure these

haven't been paid for?

-Quite sure.

-I know we paid for some curtains.

Yes, the ones in the television room.

As that room's never used,

it seems rather a waste of money.

You are in a bad way tonight.

Are you sure a little drink

wouldn't help?

Quite sure, thank you.

I'll watch tomorrow night, darling.

-What's the matter?

-Nothing.

It's just that I like looking at you

from this angle, that's all.

Well, it's not exactly a new one, is it?

-Oh, no, my hair.

-Oh, damn your hair.

Why this all of a sudden?

It's not all of a sudden.

I've loved you like this

for eight years and you know it.

What's more, it seems to get worse,

not better.

You mean better, not worse, don't you?

No, I mean what I said.

PEGGY:
Mmm.

Maybe I should always ask you for

new curtains if it makes you

as passionate as this.

-Listen to me, Margarita Igetsnovich.

-Peggy Mann.

-Margarita Igetsnovich of Riga.

-What's Riga got to do with anything?

I was only five when we left.

Later of 196 Banbury Road, Oxford.

How much did your father pay for those

two rooms, 2 a week?

Thirty seven shillings.

Isn't it extraordinary?

He took them in 1939, you see,

on a long rent and quite often,

I believe, thought of giving them up for

somewhere cheaper. (LAUGHING)

Somewhere cheaper. Imagine. Of course,

after the war they couldn't turn us out.

Funny to think of it now,

Father, a Fellow of New College.

And his daughter,

the wife of David Mann.

Yes, and very proud of it, too.

You're not proud enough to watch his

television programme.

Oh, we'll let that pass,

Margarita Igetsnovich.

Do you remember my first present to you?

Um, no.

-It was a China cat.

-Oh, yes, of course, it was lovely.

Cost four shillings and sixpence.

-And you cried.

-Of course I cried, it was lovely.

Since that day, eight years ago,

have you ever asked me for anything

and been refused?

(BOTH) No.

So do you honestly think that the moment

there's enough money in the bank

to pay for them, that you're not

going to get your new curtains?

Oh, darling. I am the most blessed

of wives, aren't I?

I think so. And I think I'm the most

blessed of husbands.

These are the patterns.

Let me see, now, this is the one I think

you'll like the best.

Because you like it the best.

-(DOORBELL RINGING)

-Expecting anyone?

Well, you'd better see who it is anyway.

There's a mad women on the prowl for me

and she may have slipped past William.

Mmm. Do you think she'll

scratch my eyes out?

Oh, why give her the chance?

You scratch first, it's your right.

Hello, Peggy.

-Is, um, is David in?

-Hello, Frank, come on in.

The porter said to tell you that the...

The lady... Thanks.

The lady wouldn't wait.

But that it didn't matter because

she knew where you'd be tomorrow.

Well, of course she'll know

where I'll be tomorrow.

It's knowing where I am tonight

that worries me.

-Have a drink.

-Well, I won't, if you don't mind.

Why not? It's your time, isn't it?

Well, in view of what I've got to say...

Oh.

Oh, come on, don't be a fool.

Peggy, give him a strong drink.

Well, I'll help myself.

-Peggy, would you mind awfully if...

-Oh, it's all right. I'm used to that.

No, Frank, (STAMMERS) I'd like Peggy

to stay, if you don't mind.

Peggy, come and sit down over here.

It might be good for you to hear this.

Go ahead, Frank.

Well, it seems you already know

what I'm gonna say.

Yes, but Peggy doesn't.

-So say it in front of her, will you?

-No, David, I won't, if you don't mind.

Very well then, I will.

Correct me where I go wrong.

Frank was summoned by the controller

of programmes tonight because I was

-drunk in front of the camera.

-Well, that isn't true, Peggy.

-It was just a couple of slips.

-I know, he told me but surely...

He was given the unpleasant task

of telling me

that I don't get my new contract.

In fact, that I'm out of television

for good,

unless I sign the pledge.

Or am I out anyway?

No, nor do you have to sign the pledge.

But I have to be a good boy from now on.

Well, that's roughly the message.

Yeah.

In television,

no one man is indispensable.

-He did coin that phrase.

-How did I guess?

So, come on, Frank,

let's have a big, strong drink.

-My God, no! Are you mad?

-Why not? I might as well enjoy it

if it's going to be my last.

But do you mean there's a chance they

mightn't sign the new contract?

No chance, Peggy. No chance at all.

Well, why didn't you tell me

there'd been this trouble?

I tried to tell you, my darling, but you

didn't seem particularly interested.

Listen, Frank, if there's any danger of

the new contract not coming through,

you can rely on me.

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