The Largest Theatre in the World: Heart to Heart Page #4

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-My God, can you rely on me.

-I know I can, Peggy, thank you.

And from now on, there's not going to be

a bottle of alcohol in this flat.

Well, that's gonna go down well

with some of your friends.

There's a women called Caroline

Wilkinson and what she can do...

Don't make fun of me, David, please.

It's at times like this

I feel most my foreign blood.

I don't understand you, David!

You have a drink,

sometimes a few too many.

But so do nearly all your friends.

You go off to your show.

All right, I don't watch enough,

so perhaps I'm a bad wife,

but when I do, they seem fine to me

and make me happy I'm married to

such a brilliant man.

But then you come home,

you have a few more drinks,

I think there's nothing wrong and

I bother you about new curtains.

Now, suddenly, I'm told you are

in trouble, bad trouble.

-Well, he's not in bad trouble.

-I don't just mean with the company,

I mean, real trouble.

Whatever it is that makes him drink or

take risks,

like getting drunk

in front of the camera.

And I'm his wife and I'm

the last person to hear about it.

Well, shouldn't I have been the first?

Of course you should, my darling,

and, in fact, you were.

When have you ever tried to tell me

about it? When?

Constantly, from over a year ago

when I took the job.

And it seems only now that I'm

in danger of losing it that, at last,

-I've got you to listen.

-But why do you drink, because of me?

No, because of me, because of my job!

So you tried to tell me

and I wouldn't listen.

Who else did you tell who did?

No one, of course.

Who else would I want to tell but...

I didn't ask who else you wanted

to tell, I asked who else you told.

-No one.

-Well, I have an answer to that,

brief and sharp but I won't use it

in front of Frank.

Good night, Frank. I'm sure you boys

have a lot to talk about.

Sorry about the scene.

That's your last drink now.

That's his last drink tonight, Frank.

Yes, Peggy. Good night.

I really broke through, didn't I?

I really broke through.

Oh, leave me out of your

domestic troubles.

Why should I? You don't leave me out of

yours. How is Muriel, by the way?

-Don't let's go into that.

-No, we won't. But what about that?

You heard her. It was her

brilliant husband that she loved.

-Ah, ah, ah, ah.

-I'm sorry.

-Yes, I heard her say it.

-I don't like that reading.

And what about the jealousy? Jealousy

from Peggy. "Who else have you told?"

-Who else have you told?

-No one, you heard me say it.

Yes, I heard you say it.

-I don't like that reading either.

-Well, I'm sorry, but that's the way

I'm reading them tonight.

Well, I'm gonna have another drink.

I know it's cruelty but you'll

just have to get used to it.

Which one of them do you really love?

I suppose, if you were a stone lighter,

I should have to ask you

to step outside.

Well, it'll be less exhausting for

both of us

if you'd just answer the question.

That one, of course.

Isn't the "of course" redundant?

Yes, you clever producer.

That one. Is that better?

Anyway, she's my wife.

And the other one's married.

At least there aren't any babies

to complicate the issue.

I wish there were.

Since the first one went wrong,

she can't...

No.

But there is no issue

to complicate, Frank.

-No?

-No.

You first shock question was

badly phrased.

Believe me, I'm the expert on this.

I know.

Which one is based on

a huge false assumption?

That no one man can love two woman

equally at the same time.

Equally, but not in the same way.

-Brilliant! You should do my job.

-I may have to.

-You'd be awful.

-I expect so.

Anyway, you haven't got a dimple.

-Well, I could try surgery.

-(CHUCKLING)

You're, um, you're to let up

on the Sir Stanley thingummy tomorrow.

What's that you said, Frank?

Controller's orders.

Minister of the Crown.

Now just a minute, Frank.

Let's alter the slogan a little

for tomorrow night, shall we?

The aim of BTV is to give you

the half truth of the heart.

And if the Controller wants to

make this a precedent,

we'll keep it in for next series.

-If there is a next series.

-There'll be a next series.

It's 8:
30 tomorrow morning,

there's the address.

8:
30! Why 8:30?

-He's got a cabinet meeting at 10:00.

-Ruislip, my God!

Where the hell's Ruislip?

Well, perhaps he can't afford Belgravia.

-Don't be late.

-Could you see her letting me be?

She'll be prodding me awake

at 6:
00 a.m. from now on.

-Just like a good wife should.

-(CHUCKLING)

Well, good night, David.

Good night.

So, you think I'm a terrible wife?

No.

You tell me your troubles

and I don't listen to them.

Not very often.

But that doesn't make you

a terrible wife.

Well, from now on I'm going to

listen to every word.

-Every word.

-Well, that's good.

I shall have to make

my conversation interesting.

And I'm going to watch you like a hawk.

I'm not going to let out

of my sight for a second.

That's even better.

(SIGHING)

This is all I mean to you, isn't it?

Not quite all.

But a lovely high percentage of it.

-Mr Mann here already?

-Been here a quarter of an hour, miss.

Oh, gosh! Then I'm the last.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

I have an appointment

to see the Minister.

You're another of the telly crowd,

aren't you? Come in, dear.

Ooh, no, Charles. No.

You can't go out there. (CHUCKLING)

-You can hang your coat up there.

-Oh.

My husband's just finishing

his breakfast. He won't be very long.

The others are in there.

Ooh, and if you could get

that marvellous Mr Mann

to sign this, I'd be so grateful.

With a little message.

Well, I'm sure if you asked

him yourself, Lady Johnson...

Oh, I wouldn't dare. (CHUCKLING)

-Mabel.

-Yes, dear?

-Has my PPS come yet?

-No, not yet, dear.

-Well, come here, I want you.

-Yes, dear.

Now, be a good boy, Charles.

-Mabel.

-I'm coming dear.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

-Ah, good morning, Jessie.

-Good morning, Frank.

Good morning, Mr Mann.

Portrait of an inquisitor

who hasn't done his homework.

SIR STANLEY:
Well, come in.

Well, what do you make of this setup?

Rather impressive.

Man of the people.

Lives as he always has.

No side to our new Minister of Labour.

Power may corrupt others,

it's not going to corrupt our Stanley.

Hmm. But is it on the level?

You say first.

Well, I'd say it's a front.

A flat in Westminster would

suit him better and he could afford it.

This looks better in the papers.

Now you.

Well, I'd say it's on the level.

A man that who would stick that on

the wall must be on the level.

What do you say, Mr Mann?

I say, what wouldn't I give

for one large brandy?

Then I might make some sense

out of this man.

All right, then I'll forgive you

this once,

perhaps if I'm in a good mood,

even twice.

But the third time, I'm telling you

this straight, lad, you're out.

And out for good. Unpunctuality

is the one thing I won't stand.

I'm most terribly sorry, Sir Stanley,

but the traffic...

Well, forgive me, ladies...

Oh, lady and gentlemen.

Sorry to have brought you here

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