The Largest Theatre in the World: Heart to Heart Page #5

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at this ungodly time,

it's all I could manage today.

Cabinet meeting this morning.

Debate on the new

wage policy this afternoon.

Well, it's a great privilege to meet you

at any time, Sir Stanley.

And may I say, on behalf of BTV,

how grateful...

Yes. Well, forgive me if I look at this,

will you? It might be important.

Sit down, won't you all?

Right. Begin, lady and gentlemen.

Well I better introduce myself, sir.

I'm Frank Godsell,

the producer of Heart to Heart.

This lady, Mrs Weston,

is my production secretary.

And this gentleman is Mr David Mann.

Ahh! The great "man" himself.

(CHUCKLING)

Well, I've no doubt that's a pun

that's been made before.

Well, I don't remember it, Sir Stanley.

Now, sir, before Mr Mann asks

his questions, I'll tell you...

Now, if you're gonna tell me what this

programme's about, you don't need.

I hear enough about it from my wife.

She watches it every night.

Mind you, I think she's in love

with our young friend here.

There's nothing I don't know about

the truth, the real truth,

the truth of the heart.

Thank you very much.

It's unscripted, unrehearsed,

unprepared.

What do you call this meeting,

by the way? We'll let that pass.

It goes out live. The only show

of its kind that does.

So you tell me what time

I'm to be at the studio tonight

and leave the rest

to my inquisitor there.

Well, the show goes on the air at 9:15.

And the controller of programmes

will be glad if you had a drank

with him in the studio

a half an hour before the broadcast.

I'll be glad to.

Now, Mr Mann, ask your questions.

Oh, I don't think I need waste

any of your time, Sir Stanley, really.

Well, surely there must be

some questions.

Oh, it's all here.

It's perfectly straightforward.

Clever, Huh!

He's trying to give me stage fright.

Thinks I'll go in front of

the cameras tonight a nervous wreck

wondering just what questions

he's going to ask.

(CHUCKLING) No, they'll only be very

ordinary questions.

Your background, your early struggles,

your successful career to date.

I can assure you, none of them

will be in the least alarming, sir.

In fact, they may all be rather dull.

And who knows? Perhaps your wife

will cease to love me.

Well, we don't want to make it

too dull, you know.

You'll give them a few of the downs

as well as the ups, I take it?

Have there been any downs, Sir Stanley?

Have there been any downs?

My life's been one long down,

it seems to me.

What about the Durham by-election?

Which I lost by 50 votes and

should have won by 5,000.

What about having the whip taken from me

in '55 'cause I wouldn't play ball

over the wage freeze?

What about that Appleton Commission?

You'll ask me a few question

about that, I take it?

Yes, yes, I had planned one or two.

I shall be glad to answer them,

very glad indeed.

-Appleton Commission?

-In '58.

The time one of our dear friends

in the shadow cabinet

said the Board of Trade

had given an engineering concession

to a certain Brazilian gentleman

called Lopez,

in return for hotel bills,

expense accounts and vi, vi...

How do you pronounce it?

-Vicuna coats.

-Oh, yes, I remember, but, um...

-Were you involved in that, Sir Stanley?

-Involved? I was the villain in chief.

Oh, that's not true, surely, sir?

It was your minister who was

the chief subject for investigation.

Yes, but if they'd found against

old Roger,

do you suppose they'd have let his

parliamentary secretary go?

Not on your life.

The talk in the Commons smoking room

then, let me tell you,

was that I was the chief culprit.

Because old Roger would always do

everything I told him, anyway.

What did they think I was?

His lover boy or something?

Oh, excuse me, Mrs uh...

Well, I mean to say, old Roger would

never let me see one important paper.

What's that cat doing here?

No. Get it out of here. Do you mind?

I can't bear touching the things myself.

Hah.

Huh!

Lady Johnson, she's mad about them.

(LAUGHING)

If she had her way, I'm telling you,

we'd have cats in this house

the way other people have mice.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, you liked that one, did you, Mrs...

I rather enjoyed it myself.

Ah, it's one of my faults,

they tell me in the House.

I enjoy me own jokes too much.

(CHUCKLING)

Well, go easy with me tonight, Mr Mann.

You can see I'm fair game for

a bright, young intellectual like you.

Anti-establishment on principle

I'd say, aren't you?

Not on principle,

sometimes on conviction.

Well, you can make mincemeat out of me

in front of 10 million people,

I don't doubt.

Fifteen million.

What, is that the estimate?

You don't say.

Well, if the PM had wanted

a worthy antagonist view,

he'd have put up one of our

bright young boys.

We have plenty of them.

No, in choosing me,

he knew what he was doing.

Well, he usually does, Mann.

He doesn't care if his

new Cabinet Minister

is made a bit of an ass of.

Well, I've been making an ass of myself

all my life.

But he knew, too, that what I've got

churning about here,

not here but here,

the good of our country

and the future of our people

would make a bigger impression on

15 million viewers than any dozen of

his bright boys with their

brilliant intellectuality.

So, tonight, just lead me on a bit,

perhaps towards the end,

about those ideas, will you?

I'd be delighted.

But I would like some inkling of what

those ideas are.

I mean, this stuff is all factual, sir.

-Have you written any books or articles?

-Articles? Me?

I can hardly write one word

after another, and that's a fact.

I tell you, did you hear the speech

I made last Thursday

at the Mansion House?

No, I'm afraid I didn't.

Well, it was broadcast, televised, all

that. There's bound to be a recording.

Frank? Thank you, sir, I'll have it run.

Good. Well, if there's anything else

you want to know,

come to see me this afternoon

at the Ministry.

Make the appointment with my PPS.

Well, goodbye, mustn't be late

for my first Cabinet meeting.

That would never do.

Mr Stanley, there are some

press photographers outside.

They'd like to get a shot of you

getting into your car.

-Oh. Mabel!

-Yes, dear?

Come and get your picture in the papers.

Oh, no, dear. I'm not dressed properly.

I've been making the beds.

Doesn't matter.

Don't mind if we go first.

If your 15 million viewers

get you in the paper,

they'll think tonight's

all a put-up job.

Come on, Mabel, don't make

yourself look glamorous.

They'll think it's a mistress I've got,

not a wife.

-Put that damn cat down!

-Oh, yes, dear.

On second thoughts, take it with you.

Cats look good in photographs.

Only keep the damn thing away from me.

This way, Sir Stanley.

Well, gentlemen, you'll get

a lovely picture here,

just the two of us

and our dear, little cat.

Right? This all right?

Well, I must get along now.

-Goodbye, dear.

-One more, sir.

This way, sir.

(ALL CLAMOURING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Coffee, I need coffee!

Well, there's a place round the corner.

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