The Last Boy Scout Page #2

---

You're nobody.

Don't tell anyone.

Cory says you're nobody.

Nobody's raining on your parade.

I'm keeping an eye on her.

Are you some kind of bodyguard?

Something like that.

Got a match?

Is Cory in trouble?

I don't know. You tell me.

She didn't tell me.

Does that piss you off?

Maybe.

Don't sweat it.

Women have secrets.

Water's wet, the sky's blue,

women have secrets. Who gives a f***?

Want a beer?

So she just hired you?

What, you're in the book or something?

She hired my buddy, Mike.

I'm filling in.

Where's Mike?

He died.

I'm sorry to hear that.

He was an a**hole.

I don't know who you are or what's

going on, but Cory's my girl.

If she's in trouble, I want to know.

Confidential, big boy.

Why don't you tell me anyway?

Nope.

Man, you couldn't protect

a cup of warm piss.

Why don't you just hit me?

Excuse me?

Chickenshit. Bust me in the chops.

An old guy like me can't hurt you.

You know who I am?

James Alexander Dix. Quarterback

for the L.A. Stallions, '89-'90.

Banned from the league

for gambling.

Allegations of drug abuse.

Another tragic tale of wasted youth.

You're pissing me off!

It's about time.

Joe Hallenbeck...

...private detective.

You're a lowlife.

At least I didn't sh*t

my talent away on coke.

Spilled my warm cup of piss.

- Get your sh*t. Let's go.

- What's the matter with you?

Shut up!

Get in the cage.

It's cool.

Let's hear it for Miss Cory!

I didn't vote for you,

you son of a b*tch.

So I'm a lowlife.

That's him. He was with her.

Take him and kill him.

No contract on him.

Then do it for free.

Elsewhere.

Alex, the pediatrician.

Alex, the pediatrician.

If I were a cat, I'd purr.

Behave!

Come back to my place with me.

I'll give you your birthday present.

- Does it look like that?

- Do you want it?

- What is it? Give me a hint.

- A hint?

How'd you like to get

your old job back?

Go on. Get in there!

Wrong place, wrong time.

Nothing personal.

So you think.

Last night I f***ed your wife.

You did?

How did you know it was my wife?

She said her husband looked like

a pimp with a hat.

You're cool,

for a guy about to take a bullet.

After f***ing your wife,

I'll take 2.

What's this about you getting

me my old job back?

Where the hell is he?

The detective?

What kind of trouble you in?

I'm not in trouble.

Some creep's threatening me.

- Let's wait inside for Hallenbeck.

- What am I chopped liver?

What's that bum going to do?

Breathe on them?

If the creep shows up,

I'll b*tch-slap him.

I'll follow you home.

Get in your car.

You'll "b*tch-slap" him?

Yeah. B*tch-slap him.

Where you want it? In the chest?

Or the head?

So said your wife.

Stop with the wife sh*t!

Ask me how fat she is.

F*** you!

How fat is she?

So fat I had to roll her in flour

and look for the wet spot.

To f*** her, you slap her

thigh and ride the wave in.

I'm not saying she's fat.

Her high school picture was

an aerial photograph.

You bastard!

And then some.

F***!

Don't get out.

Can't you drive?

Let's get the f*** out of here!

Back up!

Back up.

Leather pants.

What's something like that run?

They're pants?

You wear them?

They don't have

a TV in them?

I am very old.

Something stinks in here.

It's this statement.

Hallenbeck's hiding something.

How do you know?

I know how his mind works!

Every lie has 80%...

...truth to it.

It's scary.

We looking at the same guy?

What are you looking at?

I see a guy who slept

in his clothes.

That's what everybody sees.

- There's more?

- A lot more.

A long time ago,

he saved the President's life.

Her story about a weirdo

hassling her was bullshit?

I don't know what she was into,

but that was a professional hit.

Gangland style.

I figure Mike was working for her,

same as me.

He got scared.

Very scared.

Bails out, dumps it in my lap.

He bailed too late.

They're scraping him off my stucco.

If Mike knew this was dangerous,

why didn't he say anything to you?

He was f***ing my wife.

I die. He gets the wife.

Free to go. Pick up your gun

at the property desk.

You took all day.

I got a call from the Bel Air P.D.

Senator Baynard has been getting

obscene phone calls.

It better not be you.

Anything else, lieutenant?

There's a new invention out:

The razor.

Too risky. I might start thinking

about you and slash my wrists.

- He got a beef with Baynard?

- The senator got him fired.

What was he, a cop?

Secret Service?

And Baynard had you fired?

How come?

None of your business.

What are you doing here?

I knocked out 4 of his teeth.

Ever play ball?

You got a good build.

You a fag?

Just trying to break the ice.

I like ice.

Leave it the f*** alone.

You're fun to be with.

F*** you.

So what's the next move, ace?

I'm going home.

It would seem my job is done.

F*** that.

We saw Cory get murdered.

You want your ass shot off,

be my guest.

You die,

I take your $600 pants.

You look familiar.

Do I know you?

You might. People recognize me.

"Cue Ball" Morton!

Sold hash in Boyle Heights.

I played football.

Jimmy Dix, L.A. Stallions.

- What position?

- Forget it.

Football. Free agents

ruined the goddamn game!

We may run into more fans.

Want my sunglasses?

- F*** you.

- Snappy comeback.

Where did Cory live?

Harper Apartments, on Melrose. Why?

Think I'll look around there.

I'll come with you.

The f***, you are.

Have a nice night, junior.

- I know where the extra key is.

- I won't need a key.

And you're not worried about the alarm.

It's pretty high-tech.

I put it in myself.

But you probably know

how to circumvent.

Circumvent?

It's called vocabulary.

- Read much?

- My subscription to Jugs just ran out.

Get in the car.

How did she afford this?

It must run a fortune.

- Tell me about it. I pay the rent.

- Isn't that charming.

She sounds like a real special girl.

What else you pay for?

Clothes? Car?

It wasn't like that. Cory could've

had rich guys. Me, she loved.

Love? Forget about it then.

- You don't believe in love.

- I believe in love. And cancer.

- Both diseases?

- Something like that.

I want to meet the b*tch

that f***ed you up.

Your show, ace.

- Security system?

- I circumvented it.

Don't touch anything.

Don't leave a mess for the cops.

Oh, my God.

- You vacuum, I'll dust.

- Stay put.

Go, Tarzan.

Who's this guy with Cory?

Shelly Marcone.

Owns the L.A. Stallions.

They dated. Treated her like sh*t.

And she left.

Where you going?

Bathroom. Want to come? Doc said I

shouldn't lift anything heavy.

I'll pass.

- That's Marcone.

- Yeah, I know.

- I don't know who this is.

- Senator Baynard.

And the a**holes with him?

His bodyguards.

He always has protection.

Copy of a phone bill.

What's this number?

Baynard's home number.

You know his number?

So I called him a couple times.

Shut the f*** up.

What's all this?

I don't know, junior.

If we're lucky...

...maybe enough blackmail evidence

to put two very powerful men away.

Why would Cory blackmail them?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes