The Last Dragonslayer Page #2

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And then the Dragonlands

can be claimed!

Yes!

And I might double the size

of my own kingdom!

Yes! Might Sire release me now?

And the Dragonlands will be

up for grabs!

Yes.

Send for the Official Dragonslayer.

I am so pleased

to have pleased you.

You have pleased me.

You have pleased me greatly.

So I shall limit myself

to just the one coconut.

Normally my visions are about

football score predictions.

Oh, but the death of a dragon!

The last dragon.

Zambini would be devastated.

I wouldn't worry too much, Jennifer.

I could be wrong. I usually am.

Oh honestly, Moobin,

who has a prophetic vision

in the middle of a job?

Oh! What fresh hell is this?

Help him, Moobin! Help him!

I can't! I can't!

He didn't have time

to write anything.

The spell that bound him...

You could see it drain him

every second he fought it.

What was he trying to tell us?

I just feel so utterly helpless.

It's the death of the dragon, isn't it?

Zambini and I talked about it.

They might take magic with them

when they go.

Where... where are you going?

If magic dies with the dragon,

we'll never get Zambini back.

Yes, but what can you do?

You're a non-magical indentured orphan

whose only talent is for tea and toast.

I'm going to stop the Dragonslayer.

We are reporting live

from the historic and almost forgotten

Dragonslayer Headquarters

where Sir Grifflon,

the King's top knight and popstar

has arrived to summon

the kingdom's Official Dragonslayer.

This just hours after a spate of

synchronized visions

affected every seer in Hereford

foretelling that

the last dragon would be killed

at the hands of the Dragonslayer.

I'm sorry, Sir Grifflon.

The slayer is nowhere to be found.

We've knocked and everything.

Do you want to be the one

who informs King Snodd?

We'll keep looking, m'lord.

I'll deal with her.

No, no, no.

Got to give something back.

You there!

Name?

Jennifer Strange.

My new film reel is out in October.

Tell all of your little friends, yeah?

I don't have any friends.

Yeah, well,

just spread the word then.

I'm looking for the Dragonslayer.

Oh. Guilty as charged.

My formal title is

His Majesty's Official Dragonslayer

Overseer Of The Dragon Pact.

But you can call me Brian.

Has no one found you back here?

Oh, a very basic distraction charm,

nothing special.

Only took me, ooh,

50 years to master.

I'm older than I look.

Sir. You will be aware of the vision

that many wizards received.

Oh, about the slaying this Sunday.

A very exciting prophecy.

Please don't do it.

I mean, I'm begging you

not to slay the dragon.

If the dragon dies and magic ends -

Well, that is a big "if".

I can't let you do it.

I like your spirit.

Let me show you around.

Come on, this way.

Now then, here you go...

Ooh, mind out.

So...

Ta-da!

Copper spikes.

Dragons don't like it.

Magical six-cog engine.

Yeah, apart from that,

it's in mint condition.

After all, it's never been used.

This is the sword Exhorbitus.

Cuts through anything, even magic.

Yeah, last fella who visited -

he was very interested in this.

A sort of wizardish-sounding name.

What was the name?

Oh, the Great Zambini

or something.

Yeah. Came six, seven years ago.

Wanted to know all about

the Dragonslayer lineage.

What else did Zambini say -

- Ah-ah-ah!

All questions will be answered

in this short induction film I made

when I first got the job.

With all due respect,

I'm only here to stop you.

Take a seat.

Oh. I think he likes you.

But...

- Shh-shh-shh. Film's starting.

Dragons.

They ate the sheep

stole treasure from our kings

and even ate people.

People didn't enjoy that much.

Knights tried their best

to slay them

but the more dragons they killed,

the more the dragons thrived!

Enter Shandar,

the greatest wizard who ever lived.

He met with the King and promised

to solve the dragon problem

for 18 wagons of gold.

Shandar met with the dragons

and discovered that they wanted

a kingdom all of their own.

And so the dragons and Shandar

pooled their magic

and forged the Dragon Pact.

Barrier stones where created

to prevent any humans

from entering the dragons' land.

The dragons would remain free

to fly beyond the boundary

but if a dragon ever violates

the Pact

by harming a human

or human property

then the Official Dragonslayer

is called to action.

As the only two humans permitted

to cross into the Dragonlands

the Dragonslayer and their Assistant

must seek out the offending dragon

and slay it!

I just want to add

it took me nearly three years

to make this film

so feel free to clap. Yeah.

It's sort of ironic,

seeing how you feel about dragons

given you'll be the first of us

to actually slay one.

I'm sorry?

Look at the base of the blade.

What do you see written there?

That is every Slayer

since the role was first created.

What's that one

down there at the bottom?

Your name as been on this sword

for the last 300 years.

This is a mistake.

Only the Slayer and their Assistant

can wield Exhorbitus.

If this was a mistake,

you'd be burnt to ashes by now.

This can't be right.

Zambini would have...

. said something.

Sorry I couldn't stick around, Jennifer

but after you take Exhorbitus,

I'll seriously start to feel my age.

I was 153 at my last birthday.

Oh, and, er, sorry for collapsing

into a pile of dust and bones.

There's a dustpan and brush

in the utility room, so...

That's the sort of thing

your Official Assistant could do.

You should get one of those.

Good luck, girlie.

You'll do the right thing

when the time comes.

I am not slaying the dragon!

Hello again, you.

You are going to love King Snodd.

Super, super good at ruling.

He just wants a little chinwag.

You up for it?

And if I'm not...?

You're up for it! Great decision.

Sire!

Sire!

Sire!

Sire!

Ah... Jennifer Strange.

Drop some bow-age.

Drop some bow-age.

Ah, Jennifer Strange!

Thank you for accepting

my invitation.

They stuffed me in the sack.

A forced invitation is still an invitation.

And today is

a very special day for me.

For I'm meeting

my Official Royal Dragonslayer.

Yes.

May I just say how much I really dig

the way everyone is connecting in here?

It feels lifelong.

You know, tight buds,

going on their...

Yes.

Jennifer, as your King and ruler

I have one request

concerning your slaying of

the world's last dragon.

Killing the dragon might end magic.

Magic? Well, magic's fading.

No one much misses that.

Now, marketing -

that's the new magic.

Imagine two cans

of identical fizzy pop.

One sells millions,

the other one flops.

And now that's all down to marketing.

And land, well, that's magic too.

And I intend to turn the Dragonlands into

shopping precincts and fortresses.

You don't need a wizard for that. Ha!

Wizard...

The Pact says

if the border stones fall

the Dragonlands can be claimed

by anyone.

Yeah. Well, I've got land tanks.

Which pretty much gives me the edge

over my loyal subjects.

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