The Last Dragonslayer Page #6

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Babes.

Last chance at a deal, curly-fries.

We will offer the entire kingdom resources

at your disposal

to find and bring back your old employer,

the Great Zambini.

Magic. Money. Soldiers.

The King's own Seer, Me.

All of us at your disposal

until he is safely back home.

I want to say yes.

Great decision!

She didn't say yes, though.

So pay attention.

I'd do anything to see him again.

But he would never agree

to a deal.

So I can't.

I see.

I'm sorry.

Yes. Me too.

Ah ha-ha-ha!

You won't kill me. You need me.

No, no, no, we actually...

we thought we needed you.

But the literature states that the Sword

must be handed to the next in line.

You don't need to be alive

for that part, do you?

Arm comes off

while you're still holding the sword

I remove the sword

from your severed hand

handing-over is thusly

technically completed.

Ta-da!

You're crazy.

- I don't think so.

You'll burn to pieces.

That is a risk I'm willing to take,

given the situation.

I've a lot at stake here.

It's actually been very stressful.

Oi, you, here!

Leave my sword!

Tiger!

- Jennifer!

Jennifer!

Your little friend is headed off

to the Troll Wars.

And you could have had it all.

Get in there...

Shut up and fight!

Stop running away then!

Jennifer!

You're gonna regret this, boy.

Jennifer!

This is a big day for me.

I finally get to kill a girl!

Then I'll become the Slayer,

kill the dragon

take his treasure,

knock King Snodd off his throne

and then boom,

back in time for supper.

A King's Supper!

Great, getting in the car.

This is your big plan, is it?

Sitting in the car?

No. This is my plan.

Go! Get her!

Jennifer!

Hush. Hush. Hush.

- No, you have to listen to me -

No, no, no, you listen to me.

Just stand perfectly still

and don't say a word.

You there, crone! Where is the girl?

Oh, sir, I seen her go past the house

about two minutes ago.

Heading for the Dragonlands.

You are lucky I don't gut you

just for knowing her.

Make for the Dragonlands.

You can breathe again now.

How did you do that?

A glamour.

They didn't even see your car.

Which has ruined my petunias.

Moobin's at the boundary stones.

He thinks the world may end at noon

so I've come back

for the last of the gin.

Are all here,

hoping to claim free real estate.

The question on everyone's minds is...

Where is our Dragonslayer?

With one hour to go,

the mood here is anxious

as almost the whole kingdom

has accumulated

at the Dragonlands border.

If I don't slay it...

They'll kill us.

They took Tiger.

But if I do kill the dragon,

then magic might end forever and...

I don't know what to do!

Oh...

There, there.

Oh, hell's teeth...

You're afraid of letting him down,

aren't you?

Somehow he might come back

and think the worse of you.

I'm doing everything wrong.

I know he only gave me a home

because I'm the last Dragonslayer.

Did you know?

Let me show you the note he wrote.

It didn't say anything.

Ah, it did and it didn't.

Zambini is a very clever man

and he wrote

the most important words first.

You see, he didn't write

"do this" or "try that".

He wrote "My darling Jennifer".

Because he wanted you know

that he was thinking of you

and that he loves you

and that was the most important message

he could send.

Never mind all the original plans.

He loved you.

Didn't have to.

Plenty wouldn't.

But he did.

You really have to believe me.

Jennifer..

Do what you think is right.

So Gordon,

tell us why you're here today.

Er, my boss Jennifer is a coward

so it falls to me, the Slayer's

Official Assistant, to kill the dragon.

Oh, erm, big shout-out

to my employers at StuffCo

from their new President

of Marketing and Spying.

Love you, guys!

Gordon! Gordon! Gordon!

I have to stop him.

What about Tiger?

Leave Tiger to me.

He's my property.

And nobody steals from a lady wizard

when she's on

the best bloody form of her life.

Ah ha-ha!

Reload!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Blacklock!

Hold tight.

Oh...

Bolt!

Oh ho-ho!

Like shooting a duck in a barrel. Eh?

Oh, it must be great to work for me.

Come on, we need to...

Wait here. I'll find help.

Save magic.

Save the dragon.

It's the Slayer!

Jennifer!

So long, girlfriend.

On, Jennifer!

Gordon... I'm coming for you.

Ever seen a troll eat, boy?

They eats bones like cows eats grass.

At least they can't possibly smell

as bad as you two do.

I'll have a word with the squadron.

Send you to the front line.

Stop!

You have my property in that wagon.

I want it back now,

this very bloody minute.

Unlock that cage

or face the consequences.

Out of my way, old lady.

I am not old!

Thank you, Lady Mawgon.

Rang for my tea this morning,

nobody came! So here I am.

What happened to Jennifer?

Gordon...

Jennifer?

Shh!

Jennifer, you're running out of rocks

to hide behind.

The day Zambini disappeared.

Who did he meet from StuffCo?

Well, the President herself.

The woman you met

at the Fizzipop sponsorship.

Why would Shandar's own company

try to get rid of a wizard?

Dear old Zambini, far too interested

in dragons and their secrets

he came perilously close

to guessing how to save them.

But anyway, magic is ending!

Money is where the game is now.

Selling things to people.

And I'm quite the salesman, aren't I'?

"Oh Jennifer, I too was an orphan

with a kindly employer..."

StuffCo's gold just bought me

a villa with a sea view.

Gold also buys

copper-plated explodi-tips.

Perfect for killing magical creatures.

Also effective on teenage girls.

When I run, you run.

And if I fall over,

you keep going.

No!

Leave him alone!

Time for you to die, Miss Strange.

I'm on a tight schedule here.

Before you die,

I ought to thank you.

The day you made me your Apprentice

you gave me the keys

to the entire Dragonlands.

'Cause if you weren't my Assistant,

you couldn't be here.

Touche'.

Gordon.

You're not my Assistant any more.

You're fired. Officially.

What?

No!

Magic is going bonkers

at the boundary stones today

with purple flashes of light

whizzing out of the Dragonlands.

Purple being the colour

that's in vogue this season.

The magic's out of control.

What happens if the dragon lives?

I believe the prognosis is troubling.

Erm... the end of Hereford... and...

Erm...

I order this to stop?

The hour has arrived!

You haven't violated the Dragon Pact.

In fact, you can't leave

the Dragonlands, can you?

Slay or be slain.

It's your destiny as the Dragonslayer!

The Dragon Pact is a lie

and you know it.

You're a prisoner here!

Die then!

Do you want to die?

I want to live.

But there are rules.

You must fulfill your destiny

or the world ends.

Magic has become too unstable.

Look at them.

All waiting for you to die

just so they can get rich.

Are they worth saving?

No.

Is that what Zambini would say?

If I slay you, and magic ends

I'll never see him again.

That is the nature of great sacrifice.

To give up your dearest desire

for the sake of people

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