The Last Five Years Page #3

Here we go.

Why do all my things

have to come into this?

Schmuel was done at half-past ten

And he said "Good night, old Klimovich"

Put on his coat to go

But then

The clock cried

"Wait! Not yet"

Pretty good, right?

"Even though you're not wise or rich

You're the finest man in Klimovich

Listen up, Schmuel

Make one stitch

And you'll see what you get"

But Schmuel said

"Clock, it's much too late

I'm at peace with life I accept my fate"

But the clock said "Schmuel!

One stitch and you will

Unlock the dreams you've lost"

So Schmuel, with reluctance,

took his thread

He pulled a bolt of velvet and he said

"I should take out my teeth

and go to bed

I'm sitting here with talking clocks

Instead"

And the clock said

"Na na na na, na na na

Oh, Schmuel you'll get to be happy"

And then they dance.

Na na na na, na na na

No. No, thank you.

Come on!

Na na na na, na na na

"Just do it and you can be happy"

So Schmuel put the thread

through the needle's eye

And the moon stared down

from a starless sky

And he pushed the thread

through the velvet black

And he looked, and the clock

was turning back

So he grabbed his shears

and he cut some lace

As the hands reversed

on the old clock's face

And his fingers flew

and the fabric swirled

It was 9:
15 all around the world

Every cut and stitch was a perfect fit

As if God Himself were controlling it

And Schmuel cried

through a rush of tears

"Take me back

Take me back all 41 years"

And on it went

Down that silent street

Till Schmuel's dress

Was at last complete

And he stretched his arms

And he closed his eyes

And the morning sun

Finally started

To rise

And the dress he made

on that endless night

Was a dress that would make

any soul take flight

Not a swatch, not a skein

had gone to waste

Every ribbon and button ideally placed

And sewn into the seams

Were 41 seasons of dreams

Dreams that you could feel

Coming real

Come on.

And that very dress so the papers swore

Was the dress a girl in Odessa wore

On the day she promised forevermore

To love a young man named Schmuel

Who only one day before

Had knocked at her kitchen door

Thank you.

That was pretty long, but it was fun.

Oh, it's not over yet.

Plenty have hoped and dreamed and prayed

But they can't get out of Klimovich

If Schmuel had been a cute goyishe maid

He'd have looked a lot like you

- Sorry, I'm Schmuel in this story!?

- Oh, yeah.

I'm not the girl from Odessa?

Maybe it's just that

you're afraid to go out

On to a limb... ovich

Maybe your heart's completely swayed

But your head can't follow through

But shouldn't I want the world to see

The brilliant girl who inspires me?

Don't you think that

now's a good time to be

The ambitious freak you are?

Say goodbye to wiping

ashtrays at the bar

Come on.

Say hello to Cathy Hiatt

A big-time star

'Cause I say

"Na na na na, na na na na

Cathy, you get to be happy

Na na na na, na na na

I give you unlimited time

Na na na na na na na

Stop temping and go, go be happy"

Here's a headshot guy

and a new Backstage

Where you're right for

something on every page

Take a breath

Take a step

Take a chance

Take your time

Have I mentioned today

How lucky I am

To be in love

With you

Hi.

I could have a mansion on a hill

I could lease a villa in Seville

But it wouldn't be as nice

as a summer in Ohio

With a gay midget named Karl

Playing Tevye and Porgy

God... Wow.

I could wander Paris after dark

Take a carriage ride

through Central Park

But it wouldn't be as nice

as a summer in Ohio

Where I'm sharing a room

with a former stripper and her snake

- I love you.

- Wayne.

Oh, my God!

I could have a satchel

Full of dollar bills

Cures for all the nation's ills

Oh!

Pills to make a lion purr

I could be in line

to be the British queen

Look like I was 17

Wow.

Still I'm certain I'd prefer

To be going slowly batty

Forty miles east of Cincinnati

I could shove an ice pick in my eye

I could eat some fish from last July

But it wouldn't be as awful

as a summer in Ohio

Without cable, hot water

Vietnamese food or you

Oh, baby, I love you.

I saw your book at a Target

In Kentucky under a sign that said

"new and recommended"

I stole a look at your

picture on the inside sleeve

And then I couldn't leave

Richard, who was with me

got uncharacteristically quiet

And he said, "All things considered,

I guess you don't have to buy it"

So I smile like Mona Lisa

and I lay my Visa down

He wants me

He wants me

But he ain't gonna get me

Damn right!

I've found my guiding light

I tell the stars each night

Look at me

Look at him

Son of a b*tch,

I guess I'm doing something right

I finally got something right

No, it's not Nirvana but it's on the way

I play Anita at the matinee

Then I'll get on my knees and pray

I can state in my next bio

I'm never gonna go back to Ohio

I could chew on tin foil for a spell

I could get a root canal in hell

But it wouldn't be as swell

As this summer is gonna be

'Cause the torture is just exquisite

While I'm waiting for you to visit

So hurry up, schmuck

Get unstuck and get on the scene

Love the midget, the stripper,

Wayne the snake

and Mrs. Jamie Wellerstein

That's me

No, that one's Jerry Seinfeld

That one's John Lennon there

No, the Dakota

The San Remo is up a few blocks

Have you been inside the museum?

We should go

Meet the dinosaurs

Cathy

Will you share your life with me

For the next ten minutes?

For the next ten minutes

We can handle that

We could watch the waves

We could watch the sky

Or just sit and wait

As the time ticks by

And if we make it till then

Could I ask you again

For another ten?

And if you in turn agree

To the next ten minutes

And the next ten minutes

Till the morning comes

Then just holding you

Might compel me to

Ask you for more

There are so many lives

I want to share with you

I will never be complete

Until I do

I am not always on time

Please don't expect that from me

I will be late

But if you can just wait

I will make it eventually

Not like it's in my control

Not like I'm proud of the fact

But anything other than

being exactly on time

I can do

I don't know why people run

I don't know why things fall through

I don't know how anybody

survives in this life

Without someone like you

I could protect and preserve

I could say no and goodbye

But why, Jamie?

Why?

I want to be your wife

I want to bear your child

I want to die, knowing I

Had a long, full life

In your arms

That I can do

- Forever, with you

- Will you share your life with me?

- Forever

- For the next ten lifetimes?

- Forever, Jamie

- For a million summers?

Till the world explodes

Till there's no one left

Who has ever known us apart

There are so many dreams

I need to see with you

There are so many years

I need to be with you

I will never be complete

I will never be alive

I will never change the world

Until I do

I do

I:

Do

Is that one John Lennon?

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