The Last Horror Movie
- R
- Year:
- 2003
- 80 min
- 54 Views
A breakout
at a maximum security...
correctional facility
in Illinois...
is this hour's
top news story.
Convicted serial killer
Harold Trattner...
is believed
to be amongst a group...
of 3
death row inmates...
who overpowered guards
whilst on transit...
from a holding cell
in Angola this morning.
Sheriff John Loomis
has issued a warning...
to area residents...
advising them not
to approach the prisoners...
under any circumstance.
Harold Trattner received
the death penalty 3 years ago...
for the massacre
of 6 teenagers...
during a summer camp vacation
in Vermont.
Deputies in Houston
issued an apology today...
to the British holidaymaker
they arrested last week...
in Miami.
70-year-old Derek Lambros...
Police
in Grand Rapids, Michigan...
have been unable to identify
and woman discovered by children
in a Halloween costume store...
with their features carved away
and the man's genitals removed.
Police first identified
the victims as 2 women.
Sheriff John Schrader
refused to give details...
of the ghoulish case...
and said only that
he did have strong evidence...
linking the crime...
to this morning's
prison breakout...
in neighboring Illinois.
Hello?
Michael, are you ok?
You shouldn't
be watching that by yourself.
I told you it was scary.
Well, you just have to wait
till Mom comes home, ok?
Keep the lights on.
Ok, bye.
Hello?
Hello?
Kelly?
Cut it out, Kell.
This isn't funny.
Hello.
I realize this isn't
what you were expecting.
Let me explain.
The film you hired
from the video store...
I recorded over it.
But don't go switching off.
You didn't actually
miss very much.
The characterization
was 2-dimensional...
and, well, the dialogue
was, frankly, embarrassing.
I think you will find this
much more interesting.
You're interested now,
aren't you?
Go on, admit it.
Well, you hired a horror movie,
didn't you?
So, you wanted to see
something scary, right?
Don't worry.
I'll explain.
You'll understand everything,
I promise.
This is where
I did my first.
It's actually
quite a strange story...
how it happened.
It was, what,
about 5 years ago now.
I was walking across
Hammersmith Bridge...
when this guy in front of me
suddenly jumped off.
and pulled him out.
Yeah.
Anyway, we sort of
became friends after that.
But it wasn't a particularly
healthy kind of friendship.
See, he'd had
a pretty unhappy life.
I'm not gonna go
into the details.
And I don't think he was
too pleased to still be alive.
But he sort of felt
he had to be grateful...
and I thought
I ought to be his friend...
even though he was
pretty depressing company...
to be perfectly honest.
It was about 6 months later...
and we were standing together
on this roof.
He dragged me up here to share
a few insights about the world.
And I was standing behind him...
wishing I'd never heard
of Hammersmith Bridge...
when I just thought...
well, A...
maybe I'd made a mistake by
pulling him out of the river...
Because all he ever talked about
was how miserable he was;
And B,
since I'd saved his life...
I sort of had
a few rights over it.
So, I walked right up to him
and pushed him over.
Do you just want to get a shot
pointing down over the edge?
Course,
they all thought it was suicide.
Anyway,
that's how I got started.
I'd say I do about 8,
maybe 10 people a year.
Men, women.
I don't really care.
The first couple of months
I went kind of mental.
I think I did
about 20.
But after that
I calmed down a bit.
Still, I wouldn't want you
to think that's all I do.
if it was.
I, Derrick Steven Morris.,,
take you,
Emily Jane Murphy...
take you,
Emily Jane Murphy...
to be my wife...
to be my wife...
to have and to hold...
to have and to hold...
One, 2, 3!
It's actually a nice way
to earn a living.
Free food, free booze.
I mean, it's not like
you're a waiter...
and it's the best place
in the world to meet women.
Look at them.
feel less loved...
than watching
someone else get married.
I've had some pretty good times
at other people's weddings...
- I can tell you.
- Oi!
Do you want to start
filming us?
What do you think
I'm paying you for?
Sure, I'm sorry.
Who's he?
He's my assistant.
As long as I'm
not paying him, too.
Ok, what I'm
gonna show you now...
is the first time
I filmed myself doing someone.
To be honest,
I made a bit of a mess of it.
I'll just warn you
about that in advance.
Still, you can't just
show the triumphs, can you?
I mean, I'm not pretending
I had this down pat...
right from the start.
You have to work
at these things.
Ok, take 1.
This is Tim.
Say hello, Tim.
Tell them
what you do, Tim.
Tim is suffering from a bit
He's an assistant manager
at a High Street retailer...
of consumer durables.
I'm not gonna say
which ones.
They don't pay me
for advertising.
He was getting along
nicely.
Weren't you?
No, no.
No, please.
It's not your lucky day,
is it?
No!
Well, like I said...
it was the first time
I filmed one.
Of course, I'd probably be right
in thinking you don't approve.
Me evil, you good, yeah?
That's fine.
I can take criticism.
I'm not sure
what you mean by evil, though.
Or maybe you think
it isn't my fault.
Maybe I watched
too many violent films...
when I was a child.
That one always
makes me laugh.
As if there weren't
people like me...
before films
were even invented.
And what about
everybody who saw...
"The Texas Chainsaw
Massacre"...
and didn't go out
and buy meat hooks?
No, take it
from someone who knows.
It ain't
the movies.
And I'm pretty sure
I'm not mad, either.
Usual, Max?
Oh, thank you, Joe,
that would be splendid.
Do have one
yourself.
Is he making
a film?
As a matter of fact,
I am making a film.
What's it about?
It's about life,
really.
And death.
Life sucks.
Death's not much better,
either.
Would you like
to do an interview with us?
So, your name is?
Bill.
Bill what?
Mullins.
So, it's 3:
00,and you're shitfaced.
Yeah.
Regular occurrence?
When I've got
the money.
So, life didn't work out.
No.
Do you consider yourself
one of life's casualties?
What?
Well, what if I said
I could end all your troubles?
Now.
How?
With this.
Well, if I shot you
in the head, for example...
that would be an end
to all your suffering.
Is this
for the film?
All I'm asking
is why go on living?
Well...
You said it
yourself.
Life sucks.
So, why stay alive?
Look, I don't want
any trouble.
Who said anything
about trouble?
I'm just asking you
a question.
In fact,
I'm offering you a service.
It's just something
I'm trying to understand.
Why cling on to something
that makes you miserable?
You think
I killed him.
I didn't kill him.
It was only
a replica gun, anyway.
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"The Last Horror Movie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_last_horror_movie_20629>.
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