The Last Horror Movie Page #2

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To tell you the truth,

I actually felt sorry for him.

I just wanted

to ask him that question.

I want to ask

a lot of people that question.

I mean,

you see people all the time...

going around,

looking totally miserable.

And you wonder

why they go on.

It's like

relationships.

Well,

a lot of them.

You've got 2 people

who can't stand each other...

or at least who are

totally bored with each other...

which is probably worse...

and they just

cling on.

Like parasites.

I think a lot of people

don't want to accept that...

which is understandable,

but they ought to.

Are you waiting

for your mummy?

Yeah.

Well, she told me

to come and pick you up.

Do you want to be

a part of our film as well?

Ok.

Yeah?

Want me to carry your bag?

No, I'm fine.

You ok?

Want to hold my hand?

I've got my car

just down here.

There you are.

Where have you been?

He wanted ice cream.

Brilliant.

Now he won't want his tea.

Hey, Nico!

You're still doing

that wedding stuff, then?

Yes.

When are you

gonna get a real job?

Do you want to explain to me

what you mean by a real job?

I don't know.

Something

with a future, at least.

Oh, yes,

a future.

I've always wanted

one of those.

Can't you

take anything seriously?

My older sister Sam is,

as you can see,

concerned

I'm wasting my life.

Whatever.

Do what you want.

I am doing

what I want.

Are you doing

what you want?

What?

Well, all this.

The house,

the husband, the kids.

Is it really

satisfying?

I'm not

gonna have this discussion...

for the benefit

of your film, Max.

Go on.

You staying to dinner

or what?

I think

we should eat Nico.

You have to smash out the meat

fairly brutally...

to make it

nice and tender.

Oh, don't worry...

it's just

a little wood pigeon...

I'm preparing

for a friend of mine.

Just add a little stock.

Now a little bit

of wine.

You just want

to come a little closer?

Now we'll just

let that cook for a bit.

And then

we'll add some cream later.

Max!

That looks

absolutely delicious.

Tuck in.

Well, isn't your friend

going to join us?

He's not my friend.

He's my assistant.

And he's here

to help me make my film.

Have some potatoes.

What are you planning

to do with this film?

Oh, probably nothing.

It's just

a personal project.

What's the point?

Well,

that is the point.

Only you could

be mad enough...

to have someone constantly

following you around...

with a camera.

Thanks.

Great.

Bye, Petra.

Bye.

Petra's

one of my oldest friends.

We actually had a bit of a thing

with each other a few years ago.

Now we're just mates.

I think it's a good thing

we're not going out...

with each other

anymore.

We'd probably

kill each other.

Oh, here,

do you want some of this?

That was good work.

Well done.

Do you want

to give me a hand here?

But I'm filming.

Just put the camera down

and give me a hand.

Come on!

I wonder how long it'll take

before they find that one?

Come on.

Come on, get the camera.

Let's go.

Generally,

I try to mix things up a bit.

Victims, weapons, methods,

locations, circumstances.

Also, if you take

some money and stuff...

they think

the motive is robbery.

Now, obviously,

this means...

you have to keep

using your imagination...

but it also means that they

can't build up a profile.

I mean,

as far as I know...

they haven't even connected up

any of mine...

and I've done

at least 50 so far.

The problem is,

you don't get a lot of coverage.

You don't get

to really make a statement.

And that's why

I've decided to make this film.

I suppose you'll be thinking

I've exposed myself...

but don't worry.

I've thought of a solution

to that, too.

You may now kiss

the bride.

I can't believe

you did it, mate.

You wanker.

Give us another one of them,

will you?

How you feeling?

Mad.

Are you happy

to be married?

Yeah, I suppose.

You suppose?

I don't know.

Only did it

to shut her up.

Ritchie!

All right.

Duty calls.

I'm trying to make this film

not just about me...

but about life

in general.

I mean, you could look at me

and say I'm a predator.

And then

the question is...

what makes some people

the lions...

and others

the wildebeest?

Who decides that?

When are you gonna

do one?

Don't know.

You still want to,

don't you?

Aye.

It's important

that you participate fully...

in this project.

We discussed this,

didn't we?

Aye.

You don't want to stay

a wildebeest, do you?

Do you?

No.

Good.

Yes?

Hello.

What's all this?

He's making a film

with me.

Film?

Yes.

Oh.

Tea for you,

young man?

Please.

Milk?

Please.

Sugar?

One, please.

So, how are you?

How am I?

What's to tell?

Nothing to tell.

I'm fine.

Is your tea

all right?

Oh, it's fine,

thank you, Grandma.

And yours?

Fine.

So, when did

I last see you?

Let me see, now.

You never come around

to see your grandma.

What are you up to

these days?

I'm still doing

my filming.

Making any money

at it?

I get by.

Still doing...

what is it, the weddings?

That's right.

Your father

was exactly the same.

He never could

settle to anything.

Do you think it's

a family trait, Grandma?

Family trait?

I don't know.

Didn't come from my side

of the family.

That's for sure.

What the...

What the f***

are you doing out there?

Get in here.

Brilliant.

You almost missed

everything.

Now, go down

and get a good shot of her.

I'm not going to say anything

flippant or ironic to you.

I know

you won't understand...

but I'm gonna explain a couple

of things to you, anyway.

You see that there?

We're making a film

of this.

We're trying to do something

that hasn't been done before.

Well, I've never heard of it

being done before.

We're trying to make

an intelligent movie...

about murder...

while actually

doing the murders.

Now, I know

that doesn't help you...

and it doesn't justify

what I've done...

but at least

it's interesting.

You see, that's the point,

isn't it?

See?

To try to do something

interesting.

The problem is...

it looks like you can't do

anything interesting...

unless you give people

a shock...

and you can't give people

a shock...

unless you do something

really horrible.

No, wait, wait, wait.

I haven't finished.

I was hoping to get some sort of

a reaction from her.

I mean, that would be something,

wouldn't it?

To get someone to see

the point of this...

while actually being

part of it, too.

Oh, now you really hate me,

don't you?

Well, that's fine.

But before you condemn me...

you ought to be able to answer

one question.

How much is a single human life

really worth...

compared to doing something that

hasn't been done before?

Everything?

Well, let's put it

this way.

If you sold your TV...

and gave the money

to some aid organization...

some child in Africa would live

a little longer, wouldn't they?

But you're not going to sell

your TV, are you?

So human life isn't quite worth

everything, is it?

I mean, it's not worth as much

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