The Last House on the Left

Hello, Cassie! Hiya, girl. Hello there.

Let's see.

Looks like Mari's getting cards

from half the civilized world.

''Mari Collingwood.''

You'd think she's the only kid

to reach the age of 17.

Of course, she is

about the prettiest piece l've ever seen.

-Mari Collingwood, you hurry up!

-Okay!

Drill sergeant.

Did you call the repair service?

Did you tell them l was a physician

and had to have a phone?

No, actually, l told them

you were an international bookie...

...and l was 10 months pregnant

with quintuplets.

What's new in the outside world?

Same old stuff, murder and mayhem.

-What's for dinner?

-Freezer's full, take your choice.

What's that supposed to mean?

Mari, you be careful tonight.

Your mother tells me the place

you're going is in a bad neighborhood.

l will, Daddy.

No bra?

Of course not!

Nobody wears those anymore.

Nobody except us drill sergeants.

But look, Estelle.

You can see her nipples as plain as day.

Daddy, don't be so clinical.

-But it's immodest.

-l'll get some sandpaper!

Young lady, when l was your age--

You all wore brassieres that made

your tits stick out like torpedoes.

Tits! What's this ''tits'' business?

Sounds like l'm back in the barracks.

All right, then. Mammary glands.

They used to tie them up

like little lunatics in straitjackets...

...and they stuffed socks in their bras.

You told me that yourself, Mother.

lf God had meant women

to go around with their bust exposed...

...he wouldn't have given us clothes!

Who are you gonna see tonight?

-Bloodlust.

-Bloodlust?

-Yeah. What's wrong with them?

-l was just reading about them.

Aren't they the guys that dismember

live chickens during their act?

-They only did that once.

-Don't you feel sorry for the chicken?

l couldn't tell you the nights

l cried myself to sleep over that chicken.

-Have you seen the car keys?

-On the table.

l think it's crazy.

-What's crazy?

-All that blood and violence.

l thought you were supposed to be

the Love Generation.

That reminds me.

-What?

-Here's a little something for you.

-Just a gift to tide you over till tomorrow.

-Daddy!

Mother. lt's nice.

Maybe it'll bring you luck.

By the way, who are you going out with

tonight? Anyone we know?

-Phyllis Stone.

-Phyllis Stone?

l know you don't like her, but l'm safe

with her. She's from that neighborhood.

What neighborhood?

Where the concert is.

You know, from that slum.

l'm sure she does.

Come on! l've got something for us.

-What?

-Come on. You'll see.

-Okay.

-Hurry up.

Who's Phyllis? You make her

sound like the bride of Frankenstein.

She's the girl who takes care of the horses

at the Johnson place, isn'tshe, Mari?

What worries you?

From what Nancy Springer tells me,

that's not all she takes care of down there.

Mari tells me you're from Manhattan.

What does your father do?

My parents are in

the iron and steel business.

lron and steel both together. How unusual.

My mother irons, and my father steals.

Come on, Mari.

-l wish we had some grass.

-lt'd be nice to get stoned.

-You don't have any, do you, Mari?

-No! Of course not. Me?

Maybe we can get some

before the concert.

Yeah, the concert.

l wonder what it would be like

to make it with Bloodlust.

lt would just be really soft.

Like in a whole bunch of cotton.

You know what l mean?

-Cotton?

-Soft and gentle.

-Give me a break!

-Really sensitive, not wild and gory. God!

You're too much, man. Cotton!

-lt's Bloodlust! They're crazy!

-Like cotton candy.

The leaves are beautiful.

Yep! They're really starting to change.

l guess winter's coming on.

l changed. l changed this winter.

-What do you mean, you changed?

-l mean, my breasts filled out.

Didn't you notice? Look.

-They were nothing last summer.

-l didn't know you last summer.

-l know. They have.

-Congratulations!

Come on. l feel like a woman

for the first time in my life.

Yeah?

Rodney Johnson!

Crazy!

The police have spread

their dragnet over five states...

...to catch the fugitives

and their accomplices.

Far out! This is gorgeous.

According to reliable sources...

Leave that on, Phyllis. l want to hear it.

...the daring daylight escape

of the two convicted murderers...

...dope pushers, and rapists

cost the lives of two prison guards...

...and surprisingly,

the life of a German shepherd.

According to eyewitness reports,

the animal...

...which was sent after the two men,

was kicked to death...

...by a young, animal-like woman

who leaped from the getaway car.

The alleged driver of the car

was Junior Stillo.

Junior Stillo is the illegitimate son

of the leader of the two escapees...

...Krug Stillo, who was serving

a life sentence for the 1966 triple slaying...

...of a priest and two nuns.

Krug Stillo is reputed to have hooked

his own son on heroin...

...to control the youngster's life.

The man is armed

and considered extremely dangerous.

The second escaped convictis identified

as Fred ''Weasel'' Podowski...

...who has a long police record

for child molesting, peeping Tom-ism...

...and assault with a deadly weapon.

The three men were accompanied

in their escape by an unknown woman...

...described only as young, strong,

and animal-like.

Police believe the four may still be

in the New York City area...

...but expect them to try to leave

the state within the next 48 hours.

Thanks. Sounds like good advice.

''l'm singin' in the rain''

Sadie!

-Yeah?

-Hurry up! l want to take a bath, too.

Okay! What do you think

of your new clothes?

l handpicked them at Korvette's.

Wonderful.

-Who is it?

-lt's J. Edgar Hoover.

-Any trouble?

-No.

-Where's Sadie?

-Taking a bath.

ls Junior back yet?

Yeah, and l'm here, too.

-Send him with my beer.

-You heard her.

Go to the icebox and get a beer.

There's a lady in there, man.

Here's your beer.

There he is. The man of the hour.

Thank you.

-You glad your old man's out of the clink?

-Sure.

You know, it's really a shame

you don't get along better with Krug.

You got to change your head around.

Become someone else altogether.

l've been thinking about names

and everything.

How does ''Agatha Greenwood'' grab you?

Like something out of Brighter Day.

You're probably right.

What do you want to be?

-A frog.

-You look like a frog.

lf l was a frog, l'd have my own lily pad.

l could sit there all day long, just....

l could do that, man,

nobody would bother me.

l could watch the flies.

Better watch him, Krug!

Leave Sadie alone, you little toad,

or l'll squash you flat as a lily pad.

-Do we have time before the concert?

-Don't worry about it.

Goodie! l want to have

at least two scoops.

l know what l'm going to have.

Mint chocolate chip.

-Mint chocolate chip?

-Yeah.

No, l don't like that.

-What's this yellow stuff right here?

-Lemon sherbet.

Sherbet. l don't want sherbet.

-Can l taste yours?

-Make your own. What do you want?

l don't want that. l want....

What else do you have?

Banana Royal, Neapolitan,

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