The Last Kiss Page #2

Izzy, I'm moving on with my life.

You should do the same.

How can you be so blind? Look at this!

This should've been us.

That's what you always wanted,

ever since you were 16 years old.

That's what you always wanted with me.

You better get him out of here.

Oh, f***.

-I took you to your f***ing prom!

-No, no, no.

I took that b*tch to her f***ing prom!

-Come on. You sound like an a**hole.

-She's totally not worth it.

I know, I know.

I'm so over that f***ing girl.

I'll be back!

You're dancing. You're dancing.

You're rocking the salsa beat.

Come on. Hey.

-What the hell did you do?

-Nothing. He was fine until...

He's not fine. He's scared.

He's not scared.

Is that why he's screaming, then, Chris?

He's screaming

'cause he saw you coming down the...

That's great.

Why don't you just stay here

and have a good time?

Relax. I'll go change him.

Give me a break.

Lisa. Wait up.

How much longer

am I supposed to put up with this?

What are you drinking?

I'm trying to decide

how drunk I want to be.

I think I'll go with a beer, please.

Yeah, could I have one, too? Thanks.

Have we met before?

Do I look familiar?

No.

-Okay, I'm Kim.

-Michael.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-So, are you a friend of the groom's?

-Since preschool, actually.

-That's really cute.

-Yeah. Blocks.

Can you just excuse me?

Hello.

Yeah, I'm coming. Right now.

Bye.

I'm with three friends that have wanted

to leave since we got here.

Would you wait? I'll be right back.

It's true.

Every single one of my friends

are married.

It's like they're all in a cult,

and completely obsessed

with me joining.

They're like, "If you don't get married

soon, you'll be too old to have a baby."

Guess what?

I don't want to have a baby.

I certainly don't think I should be bullied

into it just because I have a vagina.

-I'm Ken.

-Danielle.

Isn't this fantastic?

Yeah. It's pretty crazy, huh?

It's like a little condominium

or something.

Yeah.

Mind if I...

Yeah, please.

So do you have a girlfriend?

Yeah.

A little hesitation there.

Having a crisis, are we?

-Do I look like I'm having a crisis?

-Everyone I know is having a crisis.

I know you're not supposed

to get them until mid-life, but

I think something's happened

to our metabolisms.

Our metabolisms?

Yeah, I mean,

the world is moving so fast now

and we're all chasing something so fast

that we start freaking out

way before our parents did.

Feel my heart.

Feel how fast it is?

That's a fast heart.

Because we don't ever stop

to breathe anymore.

You gotta remember to breathe,

or you'll die.

Oh, sorry.

-Hey!

-Hey.

Have you seen Michael anywhere?

No.

Okay. Carry on.

And don't worry, because crises...

Crisises?

I think it's "crises." Go with "crises."

Right. Like I said,

crises, well, they come and go.

Sometimes.

Sometimes they don't really feel like

they're going anywhere.

-You're having a permanent crisis?

-I don't know. Maybe.

I've just been thinking

about my life lately and

everything feels pretty planned out.

You know?

It's like I know everything

that's going to happen.

There are no more surprises.

-That is so boring.

-I know.

-So what do you do?

-Complain, I guess.

No, like, what do you...

Like, what do you do?

Oh, you mean "what do I do"

what do I do?

-Yeah.

-Sorry. I'm an architect.

How about you?

-I'm a musician.

-Oh, cool.

-A flautist.

-Oh, real cool.

Yeah. I mean, I study other things, too.

I'm not an idiot.

But, if I could do anything,

I would love to be able to do that

when I finish school.

You're graduating this year?

Two more years. Wow.

Look at you. Two more years.

Yeah.

Well, don't rush it.

College was the best time of my life.

Reminiscing already, huh?

I should get back.

-To your crisis?

-My crisis awaits.

-Shall we?

-Yeah.

Okay.

Careful. I'll help you up.

-Are you okay?

-Yeah.

Yeah?

-I guess that's a cool tree, huh?

-Yeah, I like that tree.

All right, well,

there are my friends,

so I guess I'll see you around?

Yeah. Cool.

Cool.

Do you, like, want my phone number

or something?

Yeah. That'd be good.

Yeah?

Do you have a pen?

No.

Well, if you want to

come by campus sometime,

I get out at 5:
00 on Monday,

Wednesdays and Fridays.

I usually meet my friends

at the Terrace.

Sure.

Okay.

Bye.

Look at her.

Six weeks, and she's already

screwing somebody else.

Dude, ease up. He's obviously gay.

-What?

-He's gay.

Look at him.

No straight man looks that good.

You think?

Yeah. I mean,

you know, he doesn't look that good

to me, but he looks good.

Caught you!

You've been hiding from me.

No, I've been right here the whole time.

Don't worry.

You missed her throwing the garter belt.

Did you see

how beautiful Lisa's baby is?

He's beautiful.

You know, I thought I wanted a girl,

but now I think I want a boy.

-What do you want?

-A girl.

Me, too.

Okay, so why are you staring at me?

What would you do if I died?

Iron my dark suit.

Would you even notice if I was gone?

Trust me. I'd notice.

So, you'd do what?

Go out and get some young thing

that would sit here in silence and smile?

Do you have anybody in mind?

You know, the other day

I actually felt jealous

of my own daughter?

-Do you know why?

-I'm sure you're going to tell me.

The way Michael looked at her.

Did you see that?

-Anna, there is no point...

-Like he had to have her.

Just once I would like to know

what that's like. Just once.

Well, I do have to have you, darling.

It's a contractual thing.

Go ahead, crack another joke.

Jesus.

Oh, look.

Our bed just got more comfortable.

Chris!

Chris, what the hell are you doing?

You've been in there for 20 minutes!

-Just give me one minute.

-No! I have given you 20!

Now get out here and give me a hand!

Matthew is screaming, I have piss

all over me and I can't find any binkies.

-Who is it?

-It's Marvin from next door.

Your front porch is on fire!

-Hey. No, don't say anything.

-Get out.

I'm going crazy without you. I love you.

-I'm serious.

-I f***ing love you.

Come on, look at you.

You're so beautiful.

I'm calling the police,

that's what I'm doing.

No, no, you're not.

-Give me the phone!

-No!

-Give me the phone!

-No!

Just listen to me for a second!

Look me in the eye and tell me

that you don't love me anymore.

I don't love you anymore.

-I refuse to accept that.

-Izzy, go home!

-You really want me to leave?

-Yes!

-That's what you're saying?

-That's what I'm saying.

Okay.

Ari,

I love you forever.

It's me. Open up.

I'm coming!

-You have to come with me.

-Where?

South America.

Okay.

I need a wingman, man.

I can't do this alone.

Yeah, sure. Absolutely.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Hey, you got any ice?

I think I broke my hand.

You're not gonna believe this, Izzy,

but I actually keep ice in the freezer.

You're really coming with me?

No talking!

"During this trimester,

"women have to carefully inspect

the things they're feeling

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