The Last Laugh Page #10

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Tomorrow

will be too late

It's now or never

My love won't wait

When I first saw you

With your smile so tender

My heart was captured

My soul surrendered

But here we are,

the sun is going down,

and I think its

time to go home.

Its sunset for all of us, huh?

- SunsetCHUCKLES

Its a good thing that

the sun sets slowly.

It does,

It does.

It's now or never

Come hold me tight

Kiss me my darling

Be mine tonight

Tomorrow

will be too late

It's now or never

My love won't wait

Oh yeah, heres a Holocaust

joke I remember.

We did it in the office

of the Show of Shows.

I saw a roll of Scotch tape

I took a bunch of Scotch tape

and Scotch taped

my nose, my ears

I had all my face Scotch taped

My nose smashed and

my eyebrow covered my eye

and my lips were all twisted

Goddamn Nazis!

The goddamn Nazis did this

to me!

The Nazis!

The Nazis! The Nazis

did this to me!

They did that to

you, they maimed.?

Yeah they knocked me to

the ground

They snuck into my foxhole

They took the Scotch tape,

they put it all over my face!

That was the joke.

You know, I got a big laugh

in the writers room.

I dont know why

that tickles me.

And I still have a little

piece of my upper lip

that hurts from that. That

was about fifty years ago.

An old concentration camp

survivor buys a lottery ticket.

He wins 200 million dollars.

The reporter is talking

to him and he says,

Uh, well, tell me what youre

going to do with the money.

And the old Jewish man says,

Well, Im going to erect a

gigantic statue

honoring Hitler.

And the reporter goes,

Wait a minute, you were in

the concentration camps,

why would you erect a statue

honoring Hitler?

And he goes Where do you

think I got the number?

DRUM:

Theres a joke I heard,

then I heard it was

a true story about

Walter Matthau and his wife.

Do you know what Im

going to tell you?

Well heres the joke.

Old, elderly couple go to, uh,

they go to a tour of Auschwitz.

Theyre on like a

tour, you know,

like in the 90s, whatever.

And they

get in a big fight

and theyre not speaking to

each other the entire tour

And they get back on the bus,

and the husband says,

Youre right, I was

wrong, Im sorry.

And the wife says,

Oh, now youre sorry, now that

you ruined Auschwitz for me!

MUSIC:

DRUM ROLL:

MUSIC:

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