The Last Word Page #6

I want some basil too.

On the side.

On the side.

So...

So, how are you?

Well, I'm wonderful.

Good. Tell me.

Where did we last leave off?

Oh, yes! I remember.

It was when you told my boyfriend

he wasn't good enough for me.

Well, I was hoping maybe

he would prove me wrong.

It was our engagement party.

Well, that was bad timing.

That is true.

But you didn't bring him around

to meet me until then.

Gee, what was I thinking?

I don't know.

What were you thinking?

Forget it.

This whole thing is so ironic.

What do you mean, ironic?

How all these years

I've resented you,

and then I find out

I'm just like you.

Oh, you're being cryptic,

Elizabeth.

Mmm-mmm.

I was diagnosed with

obsessive-compulsive

personality disorder.

It's a condition. That,

unfortunately, we both have.

I'm sorry?

An unyielding belief that

everyone else is the problem.

Well, but for

the most part that's true.

Obsession with perfectionism.

You don't want to settle

for anything less.

I see nothing wrong with that.

Uh-huh.

Look, it's not too late

to let go of the condition.

You can unburden yourself, you know.

You can be happy and at peace.

Elizabeth, lam who I am.

You're a grandmother.

Really?

Yeah.

I have two sons. Two sons.

Spencer and Sage.

Wait, wait, wait.

Please tell me you're married.

I'm married. Yes.

His name is Josh. He's a...

Yeah, what do you do now?

What's your job?

I'm a neurologist.

Mmm-hmm.

Some consider me

to be one of the best...

And are you happy?

In the country.

I am happy.-

Oh!

I have a good life.

And you should be a part of it.

I would really like that.

Mmm!

Great.

So you'll see a therapist?

I can't bring you into the

house with you being this way.

You gotta meet the kids.

You'll see they're wonderful.

You'll fall in love with them.

Is that funny?

What's funny about it?

I don't understand.

I seriously...

I don't know what this is.

I've literally never seen

my mother laugh.

What are you laughing about?

Mother, why are you laughing?

Mother, why are you laughing?

She only laughs

when she's wrong.

Wrong? What were you

wrong about?

List the many things.

About me.

I was wrong about me.

About you?

I was wrong about me.

I don't understand.

'Cause you got

this wonderful husband.

And you got

these two great kids.

And you're happy.

You said you're happy, yes?

Yeah. That's true.

That means I was a great mother.

What?

You know, I succeeded

in spite of you, Mother.

No. It was me.

Why did you want to see me?

I guess to take inventory.

Well, isn't that perfect.

Goodbye, Mother.

Bye.

I was a good mother.

Mmm. Wow.

Harriet, you're a piece of work.

I am who I am.

Let's get out of here.

Come on.

Something's wrong with the car.

For God's sake,

we all knew this was coming.

But you can definitely get

it fixed by tomorrow morning?

It's all the way down here.

Come on!

To sleepover! Sleepover!

We're going to have a sleepover.

You think someday

my dad may show up

and want to get food with me?

I don't know.

Is that what you want?

I get it. You want it,

but you wish you didn't.

Yeah, I guess so.

I get it.

My mom left us when I

was younger than you.

Have you seen her since?

No.

I ain't seen my dad either.

Sucks, right?

His loss. Yeah.

His loss.

Yeah.

I'm awesome.

Yeah, you are awesome.

I really am awesome.

Yes.

I know.

You're kind of awesome, too.

You think so?

You think that I'm awesome?

You know what I think?

What?

F*** your mom.

Where are we going?

It's so warm.

Careful.

It looks so pretty.

What do you think?

It's nice, huh?

Do you think we should go in?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Let's not get anything wet.

Let's put it all on the side.

One.

Two. Three!

Oh, yeah.

This has been the best day ever.

You have so many good days

ahead of you, my honey.

It's true.

Want my Kit Kat?

No. Nobody gets sugar now.

You see that bird over there?

Look, there's a bird

living in the...

Thank you so much. Shake.

Appreciate it. Thank you.

Thanks for paying.

Oh...

Brenda.

Can we get a...

Can we get a picture?

Let's get a picture.

Yes, yes.

One selfie for memories.

Okay.

Ready?

Call me Mrs. Long Arm.

Good. All right, let's go.

Okay.

Shotgun!

This is Dr. Morgan

calling for Harriet Lauler.

If you could get back to me

at your earliest convenience,

I would like to discuss

your test results with you.

Congestive heart

failure, simply put, means

the volume of blood

being pumped by your heart

is unable to meet

your body's needs.

I don't have a weak heart.

No, no.

But it is overworked.

Treatment?

Um...

You're not really a suitable

candidate, I'm afraid.

How long do I have?

It's difficult to

assess prognosis, uh,

really, with these

types of cases.

And how will it happen?

Again, it's...

Difficult to assess. Yeah.

This does not work for me.

I wish I had better

news for you.

I'm really sorry.

I suppose the word "sorry"

and its usage in this case

is reasonable.

I've been working on

my bedside manner.

Like I give a sh*t.

What's going on?

You okay? What happened?

I had no one else to call.

So you've got a weak heart?

No.I have

an overworked heart.

And it could happen at any time?

That's what he told me.

Like in the shower?

Yes.

Like going to the bathroom?

Yeah.

Talking to me, like, right now?

Yes. Why are you struggling

to understand this?

No, I'm just...

It must be killing you.

You know what I mean.

Yeah.

You're basically just waiting.

Well, we're all waiting.

Anne, the obit.

You have enough material

now to do a re-write, yes?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. All right,

I'm gonna get on it.

Good. Thank you.

As I live and breathe.

Well, from the looks of it

I'm not sure you do.

I see you still have that stick

stuck up your Nicoise.

I would tell you

to go drop dead,

but I'm afraid

you'd take me up on it.

I'm going to go make some tea.

So you want to talk to me

about why we split?

Is that why you're here?

It's been 22 years.

I just finished

paying off my attorney.

With my money.

That's right.

Thanks.

Edward, please help me here.

Well, I never subscribed

to the notion

that marriage is about

learning to compromise.

Well, compromise just means

that two people are

miserable instead of one.

Sometimes you got your way.

And sometimes your husband

buys an alpaca farm.

Sometimes your wife spends

a small fortune

on the world's most

uncomfortable couch!

That wasn't a couch!

It was a settee.

That's French

for herniated disc.

But you're not

supposed to lie on it.

It's a couch!

That's what it's for.

Okay.

I'm so tired, Edward.

I knew what I was getting

when I married you.

That was my choice.

And I have never regretted it.

Never

Well, Elizabeth

didn't have a choice.

She was stuck with me.

You did the best you could.

No, I didn't.

You did good. You were

better than me. You...

Oh, yeah,

you were her protector.

You were such a good father.

Yeah.

I understand you've seen her.

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