The Layover

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1

[KATE] "I'm warning you, I'm

going to get angry. Do you see?

"We are going to have fun

on this island, understand?

"We are going to have fun

on this island.

"'Come now,' said the

Lord of the Flies.

"Get back to the others and

we'll forget the whole thing.

"This has gone quite far enough,

my poor, misguided child.

"Do you think you know

better than I do?"

Okay, so we have civilization

versus savagery,

and reason versus impulse.

So many exciting themes

in one little book, right?

Over the break, I want you to

read the next three chapters.

That's three chapters, and

I want you to write two pages...

on either one of our themes,

your choice.

Demerius.

Care to read us out to the bell?

No, no, no, not that one.

The one that you have on your

lap there. What is it?

Uh... Demon Sword Z.

(SNICKERING)

Okay, let's hear it. Oh, come

on. Let's finish class strong.

"Now I have the power

of the five souls.

"Let us see what the

Gauntlet of Destiny...

"has to say about that,

demon lover.

"Then, the squid leg splits

Okami-san in half.

"Blood sprays everywhere."

This is 26% stronger than

anything else on the market.

It lasts up to four hours.

Not only are the lips fuller...

they're the most fantastic

color.

Slight tingle at first,

but it's so worth it.

Better than collagen.

Where is this from?

The Orient... a lot of the

formulas are secret.

I own the North American rights.

Oh, that's lovely.

And this would be an exclusive

for Harold's.

Hm.

That's really starting to work.

What kind of comic is this?

It's not a comic, it's manga.

"Put your demon powers in me,

squid.

"I want to feel your might

deep within."

Damn, its tentacles are like

its d*cks.

Zack, your right.

"Hold back nothing, my pet.

After I summon the demon,

all you can..."

Mr. Moss. Hello.

We found some surprising

thematic similarities...

between Lord of the Flies...

(BELL RINGS)

Okay, all right.

You owe me two pages.

Have a really good break.

Where is this from?

Asia.

D-P-R-K... isn't that

North Korea?

You're trying to sell Harold's

a North Korean product?

Maybe.

The North Korea against which...

the United States has

an embargo?

Now, that embargo is kind

of like Cuba, you know?

It's sort of symbolic.

20 years, Kate. Seen it all.

Right.

Well, maybe not sex

with an octopus.

That was a first.

That was mine, too.

Please.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I wanted your help to strategize

a big picture issue...

because I see something

we both share.

A deep love for this school.

Go Falcons.

I wanna do a little

right-brained thinking...

about a left-brain problem.

Are we talking about the ARB

test scores?

I'm talking about empowerment.

I'm saying let's be the change.

Let's not squander our energy

on acrimony and recriminations.

Um... are you firing me?

What?

I'm sorry.

I'm trying to ground floor

the discussions...

so we don't waste our school's

resources on arbitration...

and severance packages.

Those things threaten the school

that we love.

Yeah, of course. Absolutely.

Sometimes a school can avoid

all that heartache...

if a teacher simply vacates

his or her post.

You want me to quit?

No. That's a personal decision.

What I want doesn't matter.

But I will say this...

I see you flourishing in a

slightly less urban teaching...

environment or perhaps in an

altogether different...

Can I admit something?

You always have great hair.

Perhaps you'd be happy

cutting hair.

Look, I took this meeting...

because Lucas spoke

highly of you.

He better have.

But I don't think this

is a good fit for Harold's.

Best of luck.

Seriously? That's it?

Just because of where

a product's made?

A bit racist, don't you think?

Okay, we're done.

No, you're done.

Because I'll take my business

elsewhere.

Where's the bathroom?

Uh, there.

Oh my god. Oh...

What the f***?

That's my f***ing car! F***!

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

There she is!

Hey, how'd it go?

Come dance with me!

What's going on?

Shake that bony ass of yours!

Woo!

What is happening?

Did you sell it?

Party bump!

Meg, did you sell it?

Can we finally get rid of all

these boxes?

Remember all those little

North Korea stickers...

we peeled off the bottles?

Yeah, of course. There were,

like, 10,000 of them.

Well, it turns out

there's 10,001.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, yes.

I am totally and thoroughly

f***ed.

On the other hand my car

got towed.

How was your day?

Meg, it's...

I can't.

I don't even wanna talk

about it.

Wow, how much did you spend?

Oh, I'm gonna-I'm gonna

bring it back.

But I'm gonna keep some socks.

How was school?

Great.

Moss asked me to quit.

What?

He thinks that I'd be happier

cutting hair.

Did you point out that

he's bald as f***?

(LAUGHS)

No, I didn't tell him

he was bald as f***.

Are you getting fired?

Excuse me.

I gotta get going.

Okay.

Can I get my clothes?

Oh, right.

Sorry.

I can't seem to... shirt, pants...

- Hi.

- Pants, pink underwear...

- Hi.

- Nope, that's mine.

Thanks for the lift.

You're gonna give me a good

review, right?

Five stars.

You buy socks and I suck...

Okay, okay, I got it,

I got it.

Hey, ladies.

Hey!

What?

She's back?!

Oh my god! Holy sh*t.

How's it going?

That haircut took balls, you

have to hand it to her there.

Are we still drinking?

Hells to the yeah, mothafucka.

Sweet.

I'm 28-years-old, I've had a

lot of success, and I'm ready.

Meg, you're missing the abs.

...with whom I spend the rest

of my life.

Why do these girls play

hard to get?

If it was up to me I'd have his

pants around his ankles...

by the first commercial.

Well, it's a game.

They're playing strategy.

...actually satisfy me

on a day-to-day basis.

I actually think I'd be pretty

good on this show.

(LAUGHS)

What's that supposed to mean?

You're hardly competitive, dear.

You don't have an aggressive

bone in your body.

Against these girls, you'd have

to put on your big-girl pants...

or they'd have you for lunch.

I think I'd describe myself as

definitely thinking outside...

Whatever.

[BACHELOR] I march to the beat

of my own drum.

Ugh.

A really nice day for me

is wak...

I actually like the whole

construction worker thing.

You know, the whole, like,

works with his hands,

salt-of-the-earth motif.

The only thing salty about him

is his balls.

Lovely, Meg.

Doesn't that just, like,

roll of your tongue-

You can have him, if I can have

the fireman from last season.

Oh, that fireman.

He was a panty-dropper.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

And for the record, just because

I don't sleep around...

doesn't mean I couldn't compete

against a group of women...

Did you just take a shot at me?

Was that a drive-by?

You drive-by-ed me.

"Big-girl pants"?

That was a slick move.

She's definitely getting a rose.

[BACHELOR] I know it's crazy

to give out roses before...

the first rose ceremony,

but I don't care.

You know, it's been a long day.

I think I'm gonna go to bed.

I just opened a new bottle.

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