The Layover Page #2

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Come on, let's finish it.

[KATE] No, I'm going to bed.

No morning re-cap.

I'm watching the rest.

[FEMALE CONTESTANT]

These girls mean nothing to me.

This is a nightmare.

Kate? Kate, wake up.

What, is there a fire?

No, there's no fire.

What's wrong? What's going on?

We're screwed up. Our lives,

things aren't going well.

Is it really 4:
15?

Remember in the ninth grade

when you got stung...

by that jellyfish and I peed

on you and you got really mad?

Did you take one of my pills?

You were really mad until it

stopped hurting, right?

Yeah.

When you're faced with a

life-threatening problem...

which we are, you step away

from the problem...

and in a calm, adult way,

you self-medicate...

until the solution presents

itself.

Okay.

Preferably on a beach

with a margarita.

Okay, let's talk about it.

Yes! That's my girl.

Can we plan this in the morning?

No, we gotta go.

What? Where?

Fort Lauderdale...

I used your Sky Miles.

Today?

Now! Our flight's in three

hours.

Meg, absolutely not,

that's crazy.

I'm not going on vacation right

now. You're completely insane.

[KATE] We are going

to miss this flight!

This is completely insane!

Why even ask me, if you're

gonna just make us...

miss the goddamn flight?

[MEG] Sir, we can get out here.

[KATE] Stop. Stop. Stop!

[MEG]

Don't yell at the poor guy.

[KATE]

Thank you, thank you, sir.

You pay the driver,

I'll get the bags.

Oh my god. Look at this line!

We are going to miss

this flight!

I cannot believe this.

I kept telling you that we had

to leave.

[KATE] This happens every single

time. Look at this line!

There's no way we are making

this flight.

These are non-refundable

tickets.

I told you you can

take a bath...

or you can poach an egg

and not both.

Meg. Meg. What're you doing?

- Hold on.

- Get in line!

Excuse me.

My friend and I are about

to miss our flight.

Is there any way we can come

in this line?

Are you first class

or an Elite Club member?

We're first-class ladies.

Actually, I think I am

an Elite Club member...

if it didn't expire.

Hold on, let me check.

Ugh.

No, it's not... ugh.

Shoot. I guess not.

Sorry about that.

(SIGHS)

Thanks for your help.

And thanks for keeping us safe.

I just do check-in.

Why do you always do that?

- Do what?

- It's embarrassing.

Told you.

You can't just cut in front

of all these...

Sorry. Ugh, sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Oh my god, you are the sweetest

thing.

Don't worry about it.

You hungry?

You could have checked your bag.

I was trying to save some money.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

You got your headphones, pills,

neck pillow...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be epic.

Yeah.

Deep breath.

Ma'am, no liquids

above 3.4 ounces.

You can dispose of it in that

trash can right there.

You want me to get rid of it?

Sure thing.

(CROWD MURMURS)

Whew!

It's easier when it's a beer.

Have a good flight.

Deep breath, girl.

We're going to Florida.

It's gonna be so much fun.

Think of the beach,

think of the sunshine.

Here's your neck pillow.

Six hours in the air.

Up and down.

Please don't say "down".

We're still on the ground.

Yeah, I know, but we're high

enough already.

Middle seats are for suckers,

right?

You know what? I actually think

it'd be better if we switched.

I would, but I need extra

legroom.

It's sort of a Gandalf-Bilbo

situation.

And I'm the hobbit?

Oh my... I'm just saying,

I'm taller.

Here, take a pill.

- I already took a pill.

- Take another.

Okay.

- I'll get you a water.

- No, I don't need any water...

Excuse me, can she

get a water...

so she can take her

anti-anxiety pill?

Certainly.

Can we please keep this

to ourselves?

I was just trying to help.

It's not like I gave him

your social.

Just quit with the flirty

routine...

it's getting really old.

I wasn't. Geez.

Take a deep breath, girl.

I'm surprised you didn't show

him your bra.

I think he might try and wear

it, am I right? Uh-oh.

(BURPING)

Oh my god. Oh, my god!

Soda's coming up.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Meg.

I feel like I am in your

intestines.

- Take it.

- Stop it!

- Take it.

- Oh my god!

I got one more comin', too.

Excuse me. I think

I'm in the middle there.

Thank you.

Hi.

(BURPING)

Here's your water.

- Thank you.

- Dear lord.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm Meg, by the way.

Ryan.

So what is it, Ryan?

Business or pleasure?

It's a wedding, actually.

Ah, which can sometimes feel

like work, right?

Mm.

I feel like last year,

I was at somebody's wedding...

every other weekend.

Yeah, they uh... come in waves,

don't they?

Yeah.

How about you?

- What brings you out?

- I have...

A girl's trip. I kinda hate that

expression, but it's true.

We are on a trip and we are

girls.

Okay, so you two are together?

Yeah, we're best friends.

We're just sitting in these

seats because, you know...

middle seats are for suckers.

Ah, my, uh, reputation

precedes me.

I love weddings.

As long as they're other

people's.

Yeah, that's the truth, right?

Single ladies in the house.

I'm Kate, by the way.

Hey, Ryan. It's good

to meet you.

You too.

I'm still Meg. Look at us!

Meg Ryan. We're America's

sweetheart.

Do you remember that deli scene?

Yeah, yeah, the, uh, "I'll have

what she's having".

(MOANING)

I think that my roommate

is trying to do a scene...

from When Harry Met Slarry.

When Harry Met Smarly.

When Harry Met Smarly.

When... Smarly Met...

You okay?

(SLURRING)

Is she having a stroke?

- She's fine. She's just...

- Smarly...

- Terrified of flying.

- M-marley.

She took some pharmaceuticals.

- Stay there.

- I'm jealous.

It's gonna be all right.

Well, I'll, uh, stop bothering

you guys.

Oh, you're not bothering...

(MUSIC PLAYING)

[CAPTAIN] (OVER PA)

Hello, folks.

This is your captain speaking.

Hurricane Cindy has headed

toward the Carolinas...

but it looks like she's

taken a bit of a turn...

and now they're re-directing

us to land in St. Louis.

We'll keep you updated as we

receive additional information.

Oh, man.

Since when is there a hurricane?

It's... been in the news,

like all week.

I'm not much of a news junkie.

I'm more of a bookworm.

This is just a hate-read.

(BURPS)

Excuse me, ladies, I'm gonna

need you to... oh, god.

Really?

Did you need something?

Put your seat up, and your

friend, too, please.

Kate? Kate. Wake up

for the male steward.

It's "flight attendant".

I'm moving her forward.

We're landing soon.

Holy sh*t.

Uh... is she... is she okay?

Let me just...

(SNORING)

We're good. We're good.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Welcome to The Sheraton.

This is the pits.

F*** you, Cindy.

Who's Cindy?

The hurricane.

I dunno, it looks like kinda

good weather for a hurricane.

The hurricane's in Florida,

we're in St. Louis.

Jesus, you took way

too many pills.

Welcome to the St. Louis

Sheraton, I am Anuj.

- How are we today?

- Not good, Anuj.

The airline says they

lost my bag.

They did? Did they lose mine?

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