The Ledge

- You know, I'm not really sure

I even want to do this,

but this couple

down at the precinct,

they been at me for this

for a year now.

We've known 'em for 15 years,

I mean, Don and Jan Connolly.

They're real good people,

but, you know,

but they can't have kids,

so he goes, you know,

"If I had a child, I would

want him to be like Hollis."

Shoot, I ain't even told

my wife.

- Mr. Lucetti.

Mr. Lucetti.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm just so nervous.

This ain't my normal routine,

you know,

in a jar before breakfast.

- Hollis.

- Yes, Doc?

- This woman is not going

to be having your baby.

- Why?

- You have a birth defect.

- You mean I'm infertile?

Sterile?

- Everything else functions,

but...

- Have I always been infertile?

- Yes.

I'm afraid so.

- We got a jumper.

He's on the roof

at the Tamlacker Building.

- Look, I'm not feeling

so well today.

- Well, I'll get Partridge in

to relieve you.

Let's go.

- Please stay behind

the barricade, ma'am.

- Hey, how you doing?

I'm Hollis.

- You a cop?

- Yes, but it's okay.

You can call me Hollis

or Holly.

Some of my friends

call me Holly.

- Is this your specialty,

Hollis?

- Well, I'm a detective

in this precinct,

and I do other work,

but I take care

of this kind of thing too.

- What's your success rate?

- It's decent.

Tell me,

what's your name?

- Gavin.

- Are you married, Gavin?

- No.

- Then what in the hell

are you doing up here?

- That was a joke?

- It was an attempt at a joke.

- Well, you're married,

obviously.

- Listen, I'm trained to talk

to you for hours on end,

and I'll go around and around

in circles until you're so dizzy

that you fall off of here,

but my gut tells me that you're

too smart for the standard bull,

so why don't we

just cut right to it

and you tell me

what's your problem?

- No, I think I'd like to go

around in circles for a while.

- Okay.

- So how long you been together,

you and your wife?

- 15 years.

- Is the sex still good?

- Do we have to talk

about this, Gavin?

- No.

I could jump.

- Yeah, well, from way up here,

there's nothing we can put down

that's gonna save you.

You know that, right?

- So is it still good?

- Better than when we first met.

- Isn't it usually

the other way around?

I mean, isn't that the way

it's supposed to go?

- Yeah, a lot of things

that are supposed to go one way

end up going the other.

That's one of the things

you learn in my job.

- You been faithful?

- Yes.

But on the subject of faith...

Do you have any?

- Do you?

- Yes.

I'm Catholic.

So no faith, huh?

You got you a girlfriend?

- Not exactly.

- I understand.

You one of them gay guys, huh?

- No.

Although I do live with one.

He got kicked out of his job

when they found out

he was HIV-positive.

I took him in,

helped him get a newjob.

And now he's-

- Gavin!

Hey!

What are you doing?

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Gavin!

Gavin, stop for a second, man.

- What are you doing?

- Gavin.

- F*** me.

Why is this so hard?

- You don't have to do this,

you know.

You really don't.

- No, actually, I do.

And when I'm gone,

you're gonna have to take care

of something for me, okay?

- I won't do it.

If you got something

that you need to handle,

I suggest you climb in here

and you take care of it

yourself.

- I can't.

- You're not up here by choice,

are you?

- No.

I have to stay up here

until noon

and then jump.

If I don't,

someone else is gonna die.

- Why?

- Mornin'.

- How's it goin'?

- Good.

- Morning, sir.

- Hey, guys.

Oh, please, come on in.

- You used to be a teacher,

right?

- Yeah.

- So I'm in

this art history class,

and we're studying

religious art,

and my assignment this week

is to write about an object

that's sacred to me to which

I have an emotional attachment,

and I need your advice.

- Okay.

- I found this

in one of the rooms,

and I'm thinking, tonight,

I'm gonna have

a religious experience.

- So your question is,

"Does having

a religious experience

"with this

intimidatingly large dildo

transform it

into a sacred object?"

- You're so smart, Gavin.

- Well, it's highly

questionable.

Maybe the real question

here is,

"Is your attachment to this

going to be emotional?"

- Oh, my emotions

get aroused pretty easily.

- I'll bet they do.

- Although looking at Buzz here

and then looking at you,

I can't help but think

"three-way."

- Jesus Christ.

I always enjoy

talking to you, Harper,

but you're gonna get me fired.

- Come on,

I'm just flirting with you.

- It's a slippery slope.

- How would you know?

- Good one.

Haven't you got some work to do?

- Oh.

Oh. This is Shana Harris.

She's in

the art history class too.

Looking for a job,

so be nice to her.

But not too nice.

- I didn't realize

you worked here.

- No, I don't work very hard.

- Does that make it

less of a coincidence?

- I'm Gavin.

Assistant manager.

Please have a seat.

You live with that guy?

- Yeah. We only just moved in.

- How do you like it?

- I like it.

My husband's not so sure.

- What's your major?

- Accounting.

- Ah.

- I always thought

I'd do something in music.

I took lessons as a kid.

But got to earn a living,

you know?

- People don't earn a living

with music?

- I'm just looking

for a part-time job

to help with tuition.

I'm a serious person,

and I'm very hardworking.

I could do anything.

- What do you play?

- I play piano,

but we don't have one right now,

so I'm actually learning guitar.

- Cool.

Well, start when you want.

- Really?

- Hey, it's not my hotel.

What do I care?

- Thank you.

- So I see this very pretty girl

comin' out of 213.

- Yeah. Shana.

Married.

- Right, Shana.

How'd you know that?

- Little early for whiskey,

don't you think?

- It's Saturday.

- Yeah.

- I've spoken with her

a couple times in the hallway.

They just moved in.

- Anyhow, I see her

saying good-bye to the guy,

the husband.

- Yeah?

- Next thing I know,

she's on the bus.

Then she's at the hotel,

wanting a job.

- I suppose you think that's all

just coincidence, right?

- Well, yeah, Chris.

Why else would I be telling you?

What else would it be?

- Why can't you just accept

that things have meaning, Gavin?

-Meaning.

What possible meaning

could that have?

- Connections.

Destiny.

- She's married.

Where's the destiny in that?

- Why do you always

have to be so rational?

- Why is it wrong

to be rational?

- Okay, we're gonna get

into a fight.

- So how was your week?

- Full of light.

- F*** off.

Both:

Hi.

- Hey.

- My wife tells me

you're her new boss.

- Yeah.

Well, sort of.

- I'm Joe Harris.

How's it goin'?

- Gavin.

This is Chris.

- Hey. Hi.

- Hi.

Both:

Hi.

- How are you, Shana?

- I'm good, thank you.

- You guys want to come in

for a beer, sandwich?

- Uh, no, thank you.

Actually, we wanted

to invite you guys

over for dinner

some night.

- Great.

Any night but Fridays.

- How about Wednesday?

- Good.

- Sure. Why not?

Can you email directions?

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