The Ledge Page #2

- 7:
00?

- Fine.

Lookin' forward to it.

- Great.

- Bye.

Front desk:
Landon.

How's it goin', Landon?

- Fine, sir.

- The geniuses at head office

want to get rid of him,

project a younger image.

I tell 'em

he goes, I go.

Reservations:
Selena,

the most inhospitable

reservationist

in the hospitality industry.

Probably responsible for 50%

of the empty rooms in the hotel.

Right, Selena?

- Hi, Papi.

- Don't call me Papi.

Head of security.

We all feel much safer

knowing he's asleep in here.

So I don't have any room service

slots available yet,

but you can do

some housekeeping shifts,

and then I'll switch you over.

I'll assign you your own floor.

That way, I can tell

from the complaints

if it's you

who's screwing things up.

Consuela, this is Shana.

- Hi.

- Show her how to do

a housekeeping shift, okay?

- Sure.

- Show a little respect.

I'll see you later.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Hi, guys.

Come on in.

- Thanks.

How's it goin'?

- Good. How are you?

- Gavin.

- Hey.

- Chris, how are you?

- Hi.

This is lovely.

- Thank you.

- Here.

- Oh, thank you.

- Yeah, you're welcome.

- Thank you for the gift.

- We need this.

- Please sit down.

Would you like

a glass of wine?

- Sure, thanks.

- Shana.

- I could do that if you like.

- Thank you for having us over.

That's very nice of you.

- Our pleasure.

- Thanks.

Is that yours?

- Oh, yeah.

But I wore out the strings.

- How's school going?

- It's okay.

- You doing that same essay

as Harper, sacred object?

- Yeah.

- So what's your sacred object

gonna be?

- Um, a teddy bear.

- Wow, that's pretty radical,

Shana.

Harper's going

in a whole different direction-

- It's more complicated

than you think.

It's a good essay.

- Oh, I'm sure it is.

- Maybe you could critique it.

You're good at that, right?

- So who else

is gonna get lubed?

- We don't drink.

- Oh.

- But please, feel free.

Chris?

- Uh, no, thanks.

I'll take a water, though.

- Glass of water, Shana.

- So what do you do, Joe?

- I work at the oil refinery.

I'm a systems manager.

And you?

- I'm in TV.

I'm an editor.

Yeah, right now,

I'm working on a show

about the long-term

psychological effects

of disaster.

- Okay.

- Oh.

- So you guys want to watch

the game here tonight?

- Oh, no,

thank you.

- No?

You don't like baseball?

- It's okay, I guess.

- Chris?

- Well, yeah, sure.

Maybe a couple innings.

Why not?

- How long have you two

been friends?

- About a year.

- Yeah, we're coming up

on our first anniversary.

- That's right.

- Would you mind

if we prayed for you both?

- No.

- Lord, thank you

for this wonderful meal,

and thank you for bringing

these two men into our lives.

And please grant them

the strength to fight

what is abominable in your eyes,

for we are all sinners.

Amen.

- Amen.

And what exactly is it

that you find so abominable

about us, Joe?

- Well, it's not my judgment,

Gavin.

It's God's.

- Well, I hope God's a good shot

with those lightning bolts,

or one of us is gonna get

wrongfully struck.

Well, thank you for dinner.

- He has very strong beliefs.

- So do we, Chris.

You know, there are programs

that can help you.

- Joe.

- I can-

- That's enough.

- Hey, you know what?

Honestly, Joe,

I think if you knew

all the facts,

you wouldn't want me

on your team.

Okay?

Thank you.

- Let me show you out.

- Well, we're here

if you change your mind.

- I'm sorry.

- Un-f***ing-believable.

I mean,

what a hateful f***ing pair.

The food wasn't even that good.

And you know what pisses me off

most of all?

Is that you buy into

his horse sh*t in your own way.

- They don't talk about that

stuff at the Kabbalah center.

It's never an issue.

- Oh, read the damn book, Chris.

It says right in the Torah,

"If a man lies with a man

as one lies with a woman,

"both have done

what is detestable

and shall be put to death."

Jesus Christ,

I let them hold my hands

and pray for me.

- I don't think she's that bad.

She apologized when I left.

- Did she?

- "The object

that's most sacred to me

"is a small fluffy bear

my dad gave me when I was nine.

"He left when I was ten,

and I haven't seen him since.

"I try not to blame him

for what he did

"and remember that he loved me.

"At least he did then,

"because he told me so

with tears in his eyes.

"I guess he knew he was leaving

"and this was

his good-bye present.

"It is sacred to me

because it represents

my capacity to forgive."

- Good job.

How many beds

you get done in a day?

One?

Two?

- I get my work done.

- Just making a bed

in our own little room.

It's okay to laugh, you know.

It's in the employee manual.

In fact, it says when

the management makes a joke,

you have to laugh.

- Ha-ha.

- Actually, I just came by to

thank you for dinner last night.

- Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

- What are you sorry about?

- The gay thing.

- I'd like to say I'm sorry

I reacted the way I did,

but I'm not,

so I won't.

I read your essay.

It's pretty good.

You want to grab lunch

and talk about it?

I'll promote you

to room service.

- How corrupt you are.

- All right,

forget about it.

I'll see you later.

- I'd like to.

It's just one of the maids here

goes to the same church

as me and Joe.

- I'm inviting you to lunch,

Shana, not to a hotel.

In fact, we'd actually be

leaving a hotel.

You'd be a lot safer.

- He was a truck driver, my dad.

He had this huge red truck.

He was gone a lot,

and then he'd come back,

and me and my mom

would be waiting for him.

And the first thing

he'd always do

was find fault in something.

You know, like he had

to remind us who was boss.

- Did he hit you?

- Yeah.

Both of us.

But I don't think

he could help it.

- Maybe he left

'cause he was scared

he'd really hurt you

one day.

- I'd like to think so.

- Want a beer?

- Beer at lunch?

Quite the role model, Boss.

- You never drink?

- Almost never.

- You want to make an exception?

- Why would I?

- I don't know.

'Cause it might be fun.

-Well, in that case...

You got an opener?

- It's not a twist-off?

- It's okay.

- Holy sh*t.

Note to self:

Decline blowj*b if offered.

- Oh, my God.

So your friend Chris,

he's into that Kabbalah thing?

- Yeah.

- What's it about?

- I have no idea.

Some new age crap like,

E.G.O., ego:

Everyone's Got One.

It's a total crock of sh*t.

- Wow, you're kind of

an angry person, aren't you?

- Me?

How can you not be?

I mean, take this homophobia

crap, for example.

If I was in charge

of this country,

I'd ban heterosexual marriage.

- What?

Why?

- 'Cause heteros breed too much.

Gay men tend to adopt.

In an overcrowded world,

why would any reasonable person

discourage them in any way?

- Hmm.

I better get back to work.

Want my beer?

- Sure.

- Thanks for lunch.

- Jesus Christ, Gavin.

What the hell's

the matter with you?

I'll tell you

what's the matter with me.

The minute Joe started off

on that homophobic

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