The Legend of Zorro Page #2

what this word means?

Joaquin?

Joaquin de la Vega!

Perhaps you can tell the class

what statehood means to you.

No more exploitation

of the peasants by the rich

who oppress us

with a flaming poker of injustice.

And how exactly does a flaming poker

fit into your little theory?

It fits

in your butt.

Now I will give you something

to laugh about.

Come here.

No?

Joaquin! Joaquin! Joaquin!

Get back inside!

Joaquin.

So, what's with you, huh?

You're lucky Father Quintero

didn't throw you out for good.

Stop making excuses.

Why do you keep picking fights?

You don't understand.

Sometimes you have to fight.

Oh, really? Says who?

Says him.

Listen, if Zorro were here, he'd tell you

fighting isn't always the answer.

How do you know what he'd say?

Trust me, I know him a lot better

than you think.

No, you don't.

You never been in a fight in your life.

You didn't even fight to keep Mom.

I am your father, little man.

Don't talk to me like that.

There's nothing on earth I wouldn't do

for you or your mother. Understand?

Don Alejandro.

Don Alejandro.

Guillermo.

- Blanca.

- Hello.

Look at little Jos. Poor thing.

He's as ugly as his mother.

Look at Joaquin.

You're growing up so fast.

If business keeps up, we'll be able to

pay you back sooner than we thought.

I told you, it was a gift.

To celebrate your son's birth.

Hey, senor.

That knife is only 2 dollars.

Well, I'll give you 500 for it.

And for that, I'll take the deed to your

rancho, with the Lord's gratitude.

We've already told you,

we'll never sell.

Family man like you might wanna

keep his woman on a shorter leash.

They said they are not selling, sir.

Have we met before, sir?

I would remember a man

with wooden teeth.

And I'd remember a Mex-breed

dressed like a white man.

You think your pappy's gonna crow,

little man? Or is he gonna cluck?

Leave him out of...

Senor, as a gentleman, I am obliged

to teach my son to turn the o...

You mean that cheek?

Is everything all right, boys?

Respects to you, officer.

Respects, respects.

Think about my offer, or I'll

be obliged to do the Lord's work.

Ten minutes, then I'm going.

Effervescent, yet tenacious.

I thought you were forbidden to drink.

What the...?

I need at least one vice

to keep in touch with sinners.

Whatever.

Who owns this vineyard anyway?

A count recently in from France.

I'm told he purchased it

from Don Gallo's widow.

French count, you say?

He's probably still in his parlor

putting on makeup.

Or his perfume, perhaps.

Rumor has it they invented it

to avoid bathing.

And you are?

De la Vega. Alejandro de la Vega.

You're de la Vega.

What an honor.

I've heard so much about you.

Really? From whom?

You know, I'd love to

continue this conversation

but I'm wanted elsewhere.

Please excuse me.

I just met the most charming fellow.

And who might that be?

Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome.

I still don't know why

they call it a winetasting.

After two glasses

you can't taste anything.

Friends, Californians.

This vineyard represents what I hope

will become an industry

that depends on the people

for its success.

Involving them

instead of exploiting them.

That's what America means to me.

The promise of a country

by the people, for the people!

A country blessed

with limitless beauty.

But none more stunning

than my escort for the evening.

Ladies and gentlemen

Senora Elena de la Vega!

Well, I'm pooped.

Come on, let's go.

Go?

I don't wanna go.

I'm having so much fun.

Monsieur and Madame Lupon.

- Pleasure, madame.

- Thank you.

Very nice to meet you.

- Alejandro.

- Elena.

- Armand.

- De la Vega.

- Count.

- You know each other?

We shared a giggle

at the buffet table.

It seems that's not all

we have shared.

Allow me to defuse

an awkward situation.

Elena has portrayed you as a man

of impeccable character.

I am honored

to be mentioned at all.

Why, I nearly forgot we were still

married only three months ago.

A blessing on your vineyard, count.

Thank you for inviting us,

but we have a Mass...

Don't be rude, Felipe. I'm just dying

to know how the lovebirds met.

Another time.

We have many guests to greet.

Armand, good evening.

Governor Riley.

You honor us with your presence.

May I present my wife, Mary.

Your speech was

incredibly moving, count.

I'm glad you're not running for office

against my husband.

I wouldn't challenge the man who's

going to lead California into the Union.

I fear there may not be

much of a Union left to join, governor.

Everyone, may I introduce

Colonel R.S. Beauregard,

of the 1 st Alabama Infantry.

What brings you here, colonel?

The threat of civil war, my dear.

Once California joins the Union, the

Confederate states'll be outnumbered.

My countrymen find that troubling.

All this talk of politics, you know how

it bores me, Armand. Shall we dance?

Of course. Excuse us, gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the imperial quadrille.

Perhaps you shouldn't drink

on an empty stomach.

Perhaps you should wear lipstick

if you're gonna act like my mother.

Say the word

and I'll escort you home.

- And leave your guests?

- In a heartbeat.

I care for you too much to subject you

to an evening of forced smiles, Elena.

You. You are the one

not acting like yourself.

Since when do politics bore you?

Since when did you start caring

what I think?

You.

If you wish,

I'll have him escorted out.

I can handle him.

For the love of God,

let's get out of this place.

I can handle her!

You must tell me how you met.

Years ago, in Spain. We were

at finishing school together.

Oh, how nice.

You were reunited so he could finish.

Don't force me to embarrass you.

Sorry, too late!

So tell me, count, what does

your title rank among noblemen?

It is higher than, say, a duke?

Oh, it's rather common, actually.

Much like a don.

Oh, he's a delight.

Rich, good-looking and royalty.

Is there anything I can say

to make you leave?

You can fall to your knees

and beg me to take you back.

I would not want to ruin my dress.

- Good. I'm enjoying single life.

- Is that supposed to make me jealous?

- Does it?

- Never!

Who's looking after Joaquin while

his mother spends her nights out?

I have not spent my nights out.

I haven't even told Joaquin!

Now, I think you should go!

- You know...

- Let me go!

I finally understand

why you left me.

It was beneath you to marry

a peasant like me.

- You're drunk.

- Your stepfather would be so proud

to see you take your rightful place

on the arms of royalty!

- Keep your voice down!

- Congratulations, Your Highness!

If you didn't know me better than that,

then you never knew me at all.

No.

Thank you

for your hospitality, count.

Could you...? Could you...?

Could you...?

Could you give me that back?

Hey, hey! Cut it out!

You had enough.

Stinky...

Aren't you forgetting something,

estpido?!

Count Armand

with his fancy wine

and the froufrou accent.

How could Elena choose

a man like that?

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