The Little Giant Page #4

...Mr. Sanders, Miss Cartwright.

- I'm very pleased to meet all you folks.

- Just make yourself at home.

- I'll be back in a minute.

- Thanks.

Oh, Miss Cass?

- Here you are.

- Oh, thanks.

Just help yourself

to anything else you want.

Yes. Oh, thanks.

[PIANO PLAYING]

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, looks good. Ha-ha-ha.

Just what I wanted too.

Who is that terrible creature, dear?

He's the comic valentine who gave me

a lift when my horse ran away.

His name's Ahearn.

Ahearn? From Chicago?

Yes, why?

He's not so stupid. He's a millionaire.

- Are you sure?

- I heard the tailor call for bank references.

You bad girl.

Why didn't you say something?

I've never even met him.

Probably got a wife and seven kids.

Well, just the same,

he's worth investigating.

Let's meet him.

- Mr. Ahearn.

- Oh.

Mother, may I present Mr. Ahearn?

- Charmed.

- How do you do, madam?

Father, Mr. Ahearn.

- It's a very great pleasure, sir.

- Well, same here.

And my brother, Gordon.

- Glad you could drop over.

- You and me both. Ha-ha-ha.

You should have brought

Mrs. Ahearn along.

Well, that would be great,

only I'm not married.

- Congratulations.

- Yeah. Ha-ha.

I understand you're from Chicago,

Mr. Ahearn.

- A favorite city of mine.

- That's right.

Dear old Chicago. I love it.

Connected with Continental

and Commercial Bank, aren't you?

Well, I'm not in business anymore.

You see, I made mine and quit.

Yeah, all I do now

is just play and enjoy myself.

I suppose you're staying at the Biltmore.

Well, I was, but, uh,

I've sort of bought myself an estate.

How thrilling.

Whereabouts is your house?

Well, I, uh...

I haven't been living here very long,

so I don't know the names of the streets.

Perhaps it's one of those big hillside

places south of town.

- Yeah, that's right. A big hillside place.

- Grand.

Well, Mr. Ahearn,

now that you've found the way...

...I hope you'll come and see us

very, very often.

Come to dinner sometime, anytime.

Just give us a ring.

Well, I'm much obliged to you.

And you folks have gotta come

and have dinner on me...

...just as soon as I get open.

We'd be delighted. That will be splendid.

Now, remember, Mr. Ahearn, this is not

one of those indefinite invitations.

Oh, I should say not.

We expect to see a lot of you.

Thank you.

Say, uh, your folks certainly

got a lot of culture, Miss Cass.

They make a fella feel right at home.

- You made a very good impression on them.

- Honest?

Cross my heart.

Well, of course, it's...

I like it that they like me and all that...

...but it's a lot more important

to me if you...

I mean, if l... If we...

No, thanks.

Hmm?

I got mine already. Thanks.

[LAUGHING]

- Good morning, gentlemen.

- Oh, good morning.

Say, have you got a hillside estate?

You know, something big,

kind of rich-Iooking.

Do you want to buy or rent?

Well, I'll rent it for a while,

and then if everything's okay, I'll buy it.

Well, I think I have just the place

you're looking for.

If you'd care to drive out,

I'll show it to you.

- Can we do it right away?

- Yes.

All right, let's take a gander at the joint.

You could put the whole Cubs' ballpark

in the front yard.

Yeah, no fooling.

- The polo field is over there.

- Yeah.

And the tennis courts and swimming pool

and sunken gardens are this way.

Who sunk the garden?

BUGS:

Say, what's that?

RUTH:

Why, it's a sundial.

What's it for?

- You tell time by it like a watch.

- Ha-ha-ha.

Well, imagine lugging that around

in your vest pocket.

I want you to see the...

Yeah.

- This is the living room.

BUGS:
Hmm.

Nice chandelier.

- The piano is a Steinway.

- Oh, lovely.

Say, who's that?

- That's a famous Siamese Beauty.

- Where's the other one?

- What?

- I always thought they was twins.

Well, there's a guy in good shape.

RUTH:
That's a reproduction in bronze

of an ancient Greek wrestler.

Oh, yeah, I know. Zbyszko.

Say, I seen him wrestle Strangler Lewis

at the old Garden.

Yep, nice place.

Little big, but cozy at that.

How much are you asking?

Well, uh, let's say 1500 a month

on a year's lease.

Fifteen hun?

How would 1450 do?

- Well...

- It's a deal, 1450.

- When can I move in?

- Whenever you want, Mr. Ahearn.

I'm in now.

- I'm sure you'll be very happy here.

- Get a load of the carpets.

Yeah, they make me feel like

I was in wading.

- Of course you brought your own servants?

- Servants?

Oh, no, uh...

No, you see, I gave them up

when I closed my townhouse in Chicago.

Oh. Well, you'll need a housekeeper,

and a cook, two butlers...

...an upstairs maid, three gardeners

and a couple of chauffeurs.

Is that all?

Well, that's the staff that we, uh...

The people who lived here kept.

- Oh.

- Mr. Ahearn, I could get you their servants.

Competent, trustworthy, efficient help.

They know exactly

how this place should be run.

All right, sister. You take care of that,

but don't let's lose no time.

Oh, look here.

- You know this town good, I suppose.

- Yes, I've lived here all my life.

Well, I'm kind of a stranger around here,

but I expect to do a lot of entertaining.

Could you stick around here

and help me?

You know, tell me who to invite

and all that sort of thing.

Why, of course.

Well, would 100 bucks a week

interest you?

It certainly would.

Well, then it looks like you go

with the house.

Oh, Mr. Ahearn,

I can't thank you enough...

Oh, that's all right, sister, that's all right.

I'll get my money's worth out of you.

They're very kind, but a little eccentric.

So you mustn't be surprised

at anything they do or say.

Most important of all,

Mr. Ahearn is not to know...

...that this is my house,

or that all of you worked for Father and me.

- You understand that, don't you?

ALL:
Yes, ma'am.

If he did find out,

it might be very embarrassing for him.

He might even discharge me, and I need

my salary just as much as any of you.

It's gonna take every cent of the money

I get to pay my back taxes and interest.

Boy, what a crib. What a crib.

- Kind of gives you ideas.

- You think not.

[PHONE RINGS]

I'll take it.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Miss Cass. Got my message?

Yes, I called you the minute I came in.

Would you like to come over

and have lunch with us tomorrow?

Fine.

Oh, Mr. Ahearn,

you're getting me all of atwitter.

Oh, I'm not kidding. I mean it.

Well, I'll see you about 1 tomorrow, huh?

Goodbye.

How you doing, pal?

Well, looks like I'm in the bag,

headed smack for the society column.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

AL:

Come on in.

- Is your room all right, Mr. Ahearn?

- Oh, perfect.

- The butler will be up to help you unpack.

- Thanks.

Now, if there's anything you want,

why, please just ask me.

Say, now, look here.

You know, I was thinking we might throw

some kind of a party tomorrow night.

- A housewarming?

- Yeah, that's it.

- Will you take care of it?

- Of course.

- Uh, whom do you want me to invite?

- Well, the...

The Cass family.

The Donald Hadley Casses?

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