The Lobster Page #5

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Have you seen how ugly you are

You haven't got a chance

If I was a woman...

Don't tell anyone I helped you

If you want to repay me, there is a way

If you kill a rabbit, bring it to me to eat

You promise?

Yes

Bye

Bye

- Hello.

- Hello.

You brought what I asked for?

Of course

The gun is in the pocket

with the electronic keys...

with the numbers of the double rooms.

Try not to lose the keys

I need to return them

I propose we act on Saturday...

after the ball Everyone is tired...

and most employees are

gone on the week-end.

And the shampoo?

I forgot

I'll bring two bottles next time

Do you know how fantastic you are?

Please make a note for the

shampoo so you don't forget

I need to tell you something

What?

This is my last mission

I can't do it anymore

I can't stand living in

that horrible mansion...

with that fat dentist

He keeps asking if I've flossed

He makes me clean my teeth after every meal

no matter how small it is

After we're finished setting

up for the big night

you can come and live with us

I'll find another mole

I don't think I'll ever find

someone as efficient as you

but I need to respect your wishes

Be patient just a few more days...

and don't forget to take

your birth control pill. Ok?

Thank you

No, thank you

You were fantastic

He carefully flayed the

rabbit with sharp knife...

and cut off his head

He then sliced open its belly...

and stuffed with well washed

red and green peppers...

not too spicy, and a little garlic and mint

He then soak it to lemon juice and

leave it a while to marinate the flesh

Before you skewer it on a stick and

roast over the fire for about an hour

That's my favourite food

Rabbit

Woman, brunette, 50 years old

Marriage certificate expired two months ago

My husband went on a bussiness trip

Ok, may I have a look?

Hands

No dirt under her nails

or mud under her shoes

9, Belsize road

So your husband does away

Yes

Where?

Bath

Good morning, sir

Are you here alone?

Good morning, officer

No, I'm here with my partner

She's inside one of the

stores shopping right now

Can I see you certificate please?

My partner keep it in her purse

You see, I'm losing it all the time

I see, and what store is she shopping in?

Oh, here she is

I'm sorry, darling

They have such huge variety

pain relieve ointment

I bought you this one, I hope

it's the one you're looking for

That's wonderful, dear, can

I have my certificate?

Of course, darling, would you

like to see mine, officer?

No, that's ok

Thank you, sir

You have a good day

Thank you, officer, you have a good day

Madam

Sir

If I'm walking too slowly, just say it

And I'll pick up my pace

This pace is fine

Maybe you don't squeeze my hand so tightly,

my palms are getting a little sweety

Better?

Yes, much better

Are you planning on buying anything else

nice for yourself while we're here?

Yes, contact len solution...

and Packer rollerball

I didn't know you're short-sighted

I'm short-sighted too

Will you stay a few days?

I'm afraid not, papa

We're heading back again today

tomorrow I'm going away on a bussiness trip

You know how demanding my job is

Don't ask if I can stay a

few days everytime I come

Do you all work for the same company?

Yes

Yes

My daughter said to me

it's a very fine company

Do you agree?

It's a rather good company

Yes it is

One of the best, I would say

The only problem with job is

that I don't have much time...

for my wife and kids

We have four beautiful children

Congratulation

Thank you

Thank you

But even if we don't have children

I would never dream of leaving my wife

Even if it just two of us,

on our own, we go on trips

We go to Portofino in Italy, and

go to Greek island for the summer

So our relationship would be as

intense as it was at the start

I love my wife so much...

I could die for her

That's how much I love her

We first day in the city did great

That part about holiday destination in

the Mediterranean was really brilliant

Thank you very much

When did you become short-sighted?

When I was 16

You?

When I was 12

What was maker of your

first pair of glasses?

I don't remember

Do you have astigmatism too?

Yes

Would you like me to rub some balm...

on your back?

On the bits you can't reach on you own?

I like that

Here?

A little lower please

Here?

Yes

Hello everyone, and good luck

The room numbers are as follows

Room 306, the hotel manager and her partner

They both have nice voices

Room 240, couple who both love to ski

Room 282, couple who both

studied social science

Name of the yacht Bliss,

couple prone to nose bleed

You and you take 306

You and you take 240

You take 282

And you two, take the yacht

Can I go to the yacht?

Ok then, you take the yacht

And you take 282

And us three will take the manager room

We have 40 minutes

Wake up

Get up

Sit down and sit over there

Put your hands behind your back

A basketball weights

between 550 and 650 grams

Did you know that?

No, I didn't know that

Yes

The weight is different for

men's and women's game

That's roughly how much it weights

Do you know how much volleyball weights?

No, but I like to find out

Good evening

Good evening

I have something to tell you

His nose doesn't really bleed on its own

He bangs it against the wall or piece

of hard wood, or something like that

Or he cut it with pen knife

when you're not looking

You two are not suited

Shut up

Dad, tell him to leave, I'm sleepy

And I'm quite sure that stain

on his T-shirt isn't blood...

but cherry juice or tomato ketchup,

or red water color paint...

or something like that, or beetroot juice

Do you love her?

With all my heart

How much do you love her?

On the scale of 1 to 15

14 is a very impressive score

He love her very much indeed

Who do you think we should kill?

Who will be able to live

on their own better

Here is the knife, mom, kill him

You better get out before you can

Ok

That's all I came to said anyway

You?

If this woman die, do you

think you manage on you own?

Or will you get involve with someone else?

No, I can live alone, she can't

I'm on my own for hours

when she got out the hotel

I like sitting in the room...

relaxes me, calms me

I like it a lot

I can definitely live on my own

No!

Be quiet

Take it

Shoot her

No

No, no, no

Where were you?

I was looking for you

I was masturbating behind

those trees over there

Why aren't you dancing?

My legs are little sore

Did you dig your grave

Not yet

I don't mean to pressure you, or to

ruin the mood, now we're celebrating

But at some point you have to do it

Don't expect anyone else to dig your

grave for you or to carry your corpse

Or throw some dirts over

you, that's about it

tomorrow find a spot you like, well the

ground isn't too rocky to make a start

Enjoying the rest evening

Thank you

As soon as his last patient left, I

entered his office and I said to him:

"honey, the dinner is ready...

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