The Long Kiss Goodnight Page #5

Chemistry, my ass!

You know what l think?

l think this is

why you'd f*** me.

To kill a schoolteacher.

To bury her

once and for all.

l kind of like

that schoolteacher.

When she comes back,

you give me a call.

Oh, and call your f***ing kid.

lt's two days to Christmas.

She might be under the mistaken

impression Mommy gives a f***.

l didn't ask for the kid.

Samantha had the kid, not me!

Nobody asked me!

Good evening, lady.

How about some company?

No, thanks. l'm saving myself

until l get raped.

Step in the alley.

l ain't asking you.

l'm telling you.

F***.

Goddamn it.

You're early. So Perkins wants me dead?

What's the rush?

Why don't you go away

and come back at midnight? Shoo!

Honey, this is

a real big f***ing gun.

This ain't no ham on rye, pal.

What the hell are you doing?

Saving your life.

l'd have been here sooner, but l was

thinking of the ham-on-rye line.

You think l can't take him?

- You probably scared the others away.

- What others?

Headhunters, nimrod.

They don't travel alone.

Were you always this stupid,

or did you take lessons?

Lessons.

- Hey!

- What?

l still got this f***ing gun.

F*** this!

Put that away.

l'm out of here.

Perkins, you prick.

Now you want me dead.

Why? What's going on?

Easy, sport.

l got myself out of Beirut.

l think l can get

out of New Jersey.

Don't be so sure.

Others have tried and failed.

The entire population in fact.

Question.

You keep saying

''l'' this, ''l'' that, like...

lt's like

you don't need me anymore.

Good point.

Get in.

Found a use for me, huh?

Yep.

l'm leaving the country, Mitch.

l need a fake passport and money.

Lots of it.

Why didn't you say so?

Hold on a minute

while l pull that out of my ass.

The key, Mitch.

The one l keep on the charm bracelet.

lt opens box 227

in a bank in Buffalo.

How the f*** would you know?

The numbers are filed off.

l filed them off.

There's a briefcase...

in box 227.

lt's got cash and lDs in it.

l need you to get them for me.

l should of known.

So where's this charm bracelet?

Yeah, well...

That's the thing about being

a secret agent.

Nothing is ever simple.

Drive past.

Don't slow down.

Park under those trees.

Honk if there's any trouble.

Yes'm, Miss Daisy,

l be honking.

Good morning.

Good morning, Ms. Caine.

What have we learned

about the dangers of smoking?

Give it here.

Thanks.

Tell anyone you saw me...

l'll blow your f***ing head off.

F***!

You're about to have 2.4 children.

Merry Christmas.

So, how far to the money?

Hour, tops.

Haven't seen a cop in a while.

So, Mitch.

Still think l'm warm and fuzzy?

Yeah, sure.

Anything?

Phone bill...

Christmas card.

You know, you could've aimed

for those guys' shoulders.

Back off, man.

l'm thinking...

maybe Samantha Caine

wasn't an act.

You had amnesia and all, but...

l think maybe

you forgot to hate yourself...

for a while.

What the f*** is that?

lt's me.

l got your kid.

Give your location.

Don't waste time.

State road 5.

of Union Springs, New York.

l don't like cellular phones,

so here's what we do.

Go to the Holiday lnn nearest you.

There's one in Cayuga.

Be there when l call in 15 minutes.

Who?

- He's got the kid.

- Timothy?

He's routing me to a landline.

He doesn't want to talk

over the airwaves.

Oh, sh*t!

Maybe we can trace him.

Trace him? How?

lt's a random motel.

- How long did he give you?

- 15 minutes.

F***, why don't we try

the phone company?

Think you can get here

in under 15 minutes?

Nobody move!

You.

You've got 40 seconds

to run a patch for me.

Everybody up!

Against the wall!

Holiday lnn, Chet speaking.

l'd like to page

Charlene Baltimore, please.

Please hold.

lt's me.

No sh*t.

Verify you have the kid.

How else would l get

your cellular number?

l got it off the cast

on her right wrist.

Right below

''Mommy loves you.''

l offer up a simple trade.

You for the girl.

l'll tell you where and when.

And Charly?

You f*** with me...

l'll blind the kid...

and shoot out her knees.

Give me an ANl trace.

Do it.

How do you know so much

about this Timothy character?

What do you think?

l bumped pelvises with him.

He was a target, remember?

Ma'am?

That call was placed

from Niagara Falls.

Niagara Falls?

Operation Honeymoon.

Bingo!

Perkins.

What's he doing here?

Timothy acting alone...

we had a chance.

Charly's hooked.

All we gotta do is set

a time and a place.

My God, we're monsters.

You talk to me about Honeymoon.

Tanker's ready.

One terrorist on ice

waiting to play patsy.

And no loose ends?

No, not that l can tell.

The Feds are going to find him...

crashed in a ravine

five miles from the blast site.

l'm not a complete ogre.

The young one gets a doll

to play with at Christmas.

Oh, f*** you.

- l think l should go in first.

- Negative.

- l think l should go in first.

- Negative.

You'd just screw it up.

l'm a much better shot up close.

You couldn't hit a lake if you were

standing on the bottom. Forget it.

Here.

The guards are at 126.9 megahertz.

You meet me...

at 127.1, you need to talk.

As soon as you spot me with the kid,

you start laying down cover fire.

All right.

They're going to blow

my head off, you know.

This is the last time

l'll ever be pretty.

Northeast sector, all clear.

Bogey.

Round her up, gentlemen.

l want her alive and unmarked.

She's got the kid!

l smell gasoline.

You have a little accident?

l got plenty of matches.

Be a bad way for a kid to go.

Think it over.

Pick him up.

l'm gonna miss you, Major.

You ought really to have stayed dead.

You don't know the rules anymore.

Tell me about it.

Eight years ago,

this guy was on the hit list.

Budget cuts, dear.

Congress blinded us overseas.

l was forced to turn

to any eyes and ears l could find...

even if it meant recruiting

the ''bad guys'' here.

Budget cuts.

ls that what this is about?

Operation Honeymoon.

F*** me!

You're running a fund-raiser.

Fund-raiser?

World Trade Center bombing,

remember?

During the trial, one of the bombers

claimed the ClA had advance knowledge.

The diplomat who issued

the terrorist's visa was ClA.

lt's not unthinkable

they paved the way...

for the bombing purely

to justify a budget increase.

You're going to fake a terrorist thing

to scare money out of Congress?

Unfortunately...

l have no idea how to fake

killing 4,000 people.

So we're just going to

have to do it for real.

Blame it on the Muslims, naturally.

Then l get my funding.

Goodnight, old girl.

Timothy, l'll be in Chopper 1.

No, just her.

l'll be waiting for you

to come rescue me.

Be just a minute.

So, you plant this poor Arab

to take the fall.

What's going out in the tanker?

Come on.

l'm going to die.

l want to know.

Chemical bomb.

Chain reaction.

Once started,

it can't be stopped.

The catalyst injected

into the tanker heats up.

We pull the truck

into the center of town.

Goes critical around midnight.

Farewell.

Adieu.

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