The Longest Yard Page #3

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There are at least 15 here

with enough experience to make this club.

None signed up.

I played eleven years

in the league, never even got a hangnail.

I'm not going to get hurt in this game.

I'm getting the biggest guys I can

and surrounding myself.

I've watched the guards play

for eleven years.

I've seen how they won and why they lost.

I know those bums

better than they know themselves.

You just got yourself a job.

Head coach.

Great bunch of guys you got.

'Strangled both wives with panty hose'.

'Triple murder

including body dismemberment'.

'Hacked mother with meat cleaver'.

Charming.

Double-check the ones with two stars.

They're the most violent.

Got any three-stars?

Damn it, Warden,

I think this game's a big mistake.

Captain, not only will you have the chance

to hone our team to a fine edge,

you'll also have the opportunity

to learn a great deal about life.

Why is it, do you suppose,

that I can walk through this yard,

surrounded by hate,

and in total command?

Because you've got fifteen gun turrets

all around you that say you can.

Partly, partly.

They could grab us right now

and slit our throats, but they don't.

We get the right person, right place,

right time, we can surprise them.

One game, one time. We can do it.

Hey, you guys about through?

Time's almost up.

OK, Pop. Hold on.

You better hurry up.

What have you got for me, Sunshine?

I can get you steroids, vitamins,

greenies, anything you want.

I'm the best hustler in the joint.

How much of what he says can he do?

He can get you laid in here.

With a woman.

What more can I tell you?

- Oh, yeah?

But can you get me

the guards' medical files?

What for?

- To find out who's had broken bones.

Sonny Tannen, strong as an ox.

You'll love him.

That him?

- That's him.

Hello, Sonny.

How'd you like to play some football?

Football?

Would you like that?

You mean, we'd really

get to hit the guards?

You like that, Sonny?

Report to the practice field

tomorrow morning, nine o'clock.

Cool it.

What's his name?

- Indian.

That makes sense.

- Now, don't do any ethnic jokes.

Indian, this is Paul Crewe.

- Hi.

I hear you play some football.

Little bit.

- Where?

Oklahoma State.

- Oklahoma State U?

Prison.

- Yeah.

First, we get you out of here

and on the football team.

How?

Well, we'll work on it.

That pretty heavy?

About 400 pounds.

That's pretty heavy.

George Samson Granada.

Mister Florida 1964.

Paul Crewe.

You know Florida?

- Yeah.

Yeah, they got tough cops here.

Small, but tough.

We're getting up a football game

against the guards.

Wondered if you and some of your

buddies here would like to join in.

With the guards?

I'd like that.

Sign him up.

- I'm way ahead of you.

See you around.

- Look forward to it.

Samson, huh?

Samson.

- Don't cut your hair.

What do you think?

Defensively, we can hold them

to two or three touchdowns.

But we need better pass receiving

and more speed to win.

To win?

I'm just talking about surviving.

Who's talking about winning?

So am I. This isn't just

a football game to the warden.

He shows you and this team up,

he's showing up all the prisoners.

It's just a game.

All I want is to survive it.

It's just a game.

Not to him it isn't.

It's a fear and violence philosophy:

a chance to be free for a few hours,

to try and be men again,

so he can destroy us.

Nate, if you're thinking

about winning the game,

you're as crazy as he is.

Maybe so.

But you spend 14 years in this tank...

...and you realise there's only two things

they can't sweat or beat out of you.

Your balls.

Better hang onto them because

they're all you'll have when you get out.

Goodnight, Nate.

- Goodnight.

Use of toilet facilities is suspended

for two hours until repairs are complete.

Sorry, men.

Mace.

- Yeah.

Follow my lead.

We're going to do this sucker.

Yeah, we got a line-up, we'd jam him.

Yeah, let's go see what this boy wants.

Pretty boy, we know what you want.

We don't play no ball.

Figured you did.

- We do but we don't.

There it is.

Weren't you two drafted by the pros?

- The pros.

I understand that, but we no longer

perform for the honkies' amusement.

Hey, man, I'll play.

But guarantee me that I'll start.

You got it.

- All right.

What's wrong with you, n*gger?

We don't f*** with them.

I'm going to play football.

- But not with them honkies.

You better leave. We'll talk later.

Yeah, leave. You look better

going than you did coming, anyway.

What's wrong with you?

I'm going to play football.

Look, brother...

- I ain't your goddamn brother.

You know what, Granville? You're nothing

but a big old dumb stupid fool.

Makes more sense for me to be

busting their heads, than busting yours.

Oh, n*gger, please. Sh*t.

Where are they?

They're not due for another

five minutes. What's the matter?

We're in big trouble.

I don't even know if these clowns

played high school football,

and we're playing a semi-pro team.

Plus, I haven't touched

a ball in seven years.

Don't worry.

Once you've got it, you've got it.

Throw one at that tyre over there.

It's just like making love.

Once you've done it,

you never forget how.

See?

All right, men. We're not going to have

time to run any complicated patterns.

So we're going to concentrate

on the basic plays.

But we might learn a few 'specialty

plays', if you know what I mean.

Naturally, we're going to try to get away

with as much as possible.

My executive assistant, Mr Nate

Scarboro, will be more than happy...

...to show you just exactly how much

you can try to get away with.

The one thing that you're going to have

to remember, the most important factor,

is to protect your quarterback, me.

Wait a minute. That's no bullshit.

If anything happens to me,

if I get hurt, we're going to have to live

with the fact that we had one chance,

one chance in a million,

to humiliate those bastards,

and we blew it.

Is that clear?

- Yeah.

All right.

We're going to hurt them, right?

Right.

All right. We're going to kick

the sh*t out of them, right?

Right.

- What?

Right.

Right, right, all right.

Now, backs and ends come with me,

the rest stay here.

OK, linemen. Come on, linemen.

Come on out here.

What's the agility rating?

- Maximum is 10.

All right, just hit the holes,

I don't want to hear you hit any rubber.

Knees high.

Come on, let's go, let's go...

That's a two.

Let's go. Very good. Knees high.

Seven.

Let's go. Hubba, hubba. Knees high.

OK, let's move over

to the blocking dummies.

Come on, Sonny. Sonny, over here.

All right, Granny.

What do I give Granny?

- Six.

Seven.

Would that be a ten?

- That's a ten.

All right. I want to see you really hit.

On three. Hut one.

Hut two. Hut three.

All right.

Let's protect the passer this time.

Good idea.

Set.

Hut one. Hut two. Hut three.

Sorry, man.

- Nice tackle.

Hey, Coach.

Where are all those

specialists you promised me?

Jesus Christ.

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