The Longest Yard Page #5

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Do you always keep it in there?

Well, it seems like a logical place.

Listen...

- It does get to you.

...you and me are buddies, ain't we?

I got you laid.

I got you the game film. I got you all

them monsters. I'm getting you drunk.

Yes, you are.

There's one thing still bothers me.

- What's that?

Why'd you shave them points?

I told you, for the money.

No, no. Come on.

Give me the real reason.

You really want to know, huh?

I never gave a sh*t about football,

or anything else.

The only thing

I ever cared about's my old man.

My old man was blind,

never saw me play.

Sh*t, I've been a professional

ever since I was 12 years old.

Hustling nickels and dimes playing pool.

Didn't make enough money

to take care of him.

And I figured when I got to pro ball,

I'd make one big killing.

One big one.

Make enough money to set him up,

take care of him the rest of his life.

Then the son of a b*tch died.

Do you buy that?

Well, that's good because it's bullshit.

Why do you think I shaved points?

For the money.

One minute to lock-up. One minute.

Know what my problem's always been?

No, what?

I've always had my sh*t together.

Always.

My problem has been that I couldn't lift it.

I've got to go home.

Oh, you're going to be a party pooper?

It's OK. Some pro quarterbacks

drink all night long.

I know.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, Paul. Here,

don't you want to take one with you?

Lock it up.

Lock it up.

- Lock it up now.

Lock up. Turn off radios.

Turn off the radio.

- Lock it up.

Come on, boy. Move.

Want to be tucked in?

There's nothing I can do for you,

Crewe got to the warden.

Captain, if you put me back in the general

population, one of those guys'll kill me.

That's what happens to finks.

You've got Crewe to thank for that.

He blew the whistle on you.

On you specifically.

You got the problem.

- I can help you.

Split right. Full back, dive right.

On one, ready?

Go left. Go left. Go round.

Twenty-eight.

Hut.

Way to go, way to go.

Let's go.

- Set.

Hut.

All right.

General call for lock-up.

Let's do it. That's my team.

- All prisoners return to their cells.

Shop period 5 will begin in 10 minutes.

In ten minutes, we expect all men in

shop period 5 to meet outside cell block...

Cell block 3A will take first call for dinner.

Dinner rotation will start with cell block 3A.

We don't know enough about these guys.

Why don't we take another look

at the X-rays?

The medical files are on my bed,

get them, will you?

Who do you see playing flanker?

- Miller.

Get the goddamn key.

Warden. Warden.

Bring that key.

Come on, get him out of there.

Earth to earth,

ashes to ashes,

dust to dust,

we commend the soul

of James 'Caretaker' Farrell.

And now, the peace of God

which passeth all understanding,

shall guard your hearts and souls.

Unto our God and Father

be glory for ever and ever.

Amen.

Good afternoon, fellow inmates,

correctional officers,

honoured guests,

ladies and gentlemen.

This is Matt 'Killer'Farrell broadcasting

on the Interstate Correctional Facility,

the communication broadcasting

system of your state prison.

This is part of Warden Rudolph Hazen's

progressive rehabilitation programme.

This is indeed an historic occasion

as we sit here...

...in this marvellous

Edward J. Hazen memorial stadium...

...provided for us by our warden,

Rudolph Hazen.

All right. Stand up for the warden.

Just so you'll know,

we've posted armed guards

all along the wall...

...and at the public end of the field.

So if any of you were thinking

of mingling with the civilians...

...and wandering off with the crowd

at the end of the game,

we will shoot you.

Have a nice game, boys.

See you on the field, Superstar.

All right, now it's our turn.

Here's a surprise from the Caretaker.

Come on. Come on.

Born free...

...and life is worth living...

...but only worth living...

'cause you're...

...born free

Thanks to the men of cell block C,

affectionately known as...

...the Citrus State Cheerios.

The teams are coming onto the field.

First, the Guards' defensive unit, led by

Captains Rassmeusen and Bogdanski.

Leading out the offensive unit,

the Guards' coach and captain,

Wilhelm Knauer.

Let's hear it for Warden Rudolph Hazen...

...who has sponsored

today's progressive contest.

Let's get the ball game going.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Mean Machine.

They stole our new uniforms.

They got our uniforms.

That's right.

...all time great,

quarterback for the Mean Machine,

Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe.

The balance of the Mean Machine

with coach, Nate Scarboro.

Please stand and join Mike Syke

in the singing of our national anthem.

What are you dressed up for,

Hallowe'en?

I figured if you get far enough ahead, you'd

let this middle-aged kid have some fun.

Bullshit.

Call it.

- Heads.

It is a head.

You've won the toss and may elect to...

How did you steal our uniforms?

Cute, aren't they?

Have a good clean game.

So no matter what,

just keep sticking it to them.

Now, who are we?

- The Mean Machine.

The Mean Machine.

Mean Machine.

Mean Machine.

Mean Machine.

Hit that dirt.

One, two, one, two.

Ready, go.

- Hold them out and don't let 'em score

Check them out

Hold them out and don't let 'em score

Check them out Hold them out...

...and don't let 'em score

Three. Twenty-five.

Hut. Hut.

Kick was blocked by Granville.

The score now is Guardsmen 6,

Mean Machine 0.

Guardsmen kick off.

Good defence. Way to go.

Here. Here.

At the fourth down and a prize attack.

Mean Machine serpentines

up to the line of scrimmage.

Scrimmage is first and ten.

Tighten the line. Move it.

All right, here come the bad guys.

Pick 'em up.

Set.

Hut.

...in the end zone for two points

and a slashing tackle by number 61.

Bogdanski?

- Bogdanski.

Who's supposed to stop him?

I am.

- Right.

...goes out there in front of him.

A free kick. Charlie Blue Eyes kicks.

Taken at the Guards' 40.

And he goes down

for an 18-yard drop back.

He's dropped for a five-yard loss,

by number 66, Wilbur Gillan.

...and he's fumbled.

A Machine ball on their own 32.

He's making the pass.

He's hit by a vicious

diving tackle by Bogdanski.

It's going to be a penalty for

Bogdanksi for hitting before the pass.

So ladies and gentlemen,

that signals the end of the first quarter.

...Mean Machine nothing.

Ball goes back to Crewe,

he's waiting to pass...

Scores.

Damn.

Settle down. Good hands. Here we go.

Loose showboat on the centre snap.

We're going to fake it. Ready?

And the Mean Machine will now line up

for the touchdown attempt.

That makes the score eight to seven

in favour of the Guardsmen.

Listen, guys.

If they fake the Walking Boss, cover me.

I gotta get that bastard.

- Bury that son of a b*tch.

First and ten on their own 31.

Wilhelm Knauer. He's dropped

for a two-yard loss on the 29-yard line.

Give me the brass knuckles.

Take a good whiff.

Take a good whiff. How many fingers?

Three.

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