The Look of Love Page #3

George, you've made a fool out of me

and I'm leaving you.

And I'm leaving you.

Oh, no, you're not.

I'm leaving you.

And I'm leaving you,

Yvonne, after all.

- In my house with my best friend.

- Absolute nonsense!

It was I, yes, I who spent

the night with him...

- ... lovely boy.

- Rusty! You fancy a drink?

- Er... Oh! How are you?

- I'm celebrating.

- Yeah. You want to join us for a drink?

- Oh, yeah, come on.

Dave can look after here.

It's dead tonight anyway.

- Ladies.

- Yeah, thanks, darling.

Oh, look at this.

Thank you.

Where did you find this lot?

Vienna. Vienna, yes.

- Must have cost you a few bob.

- No, no.

Just shipping and packing.

And that's just the women.

Oh, I'd like a big snake like that.

Wouldn't you, Jean?

Yeah, I bet you do.

Here's the papers, Mr Raymond.

Right, here we go.

"Hoot or miss?

"Pyjama Tops is the worst acted farce

I have ever seen on any stage

"in the last 25 years. "

- Ooh!

- That's rubbish.

"It is littered with arbitrary

displays of naked flesh. "

Well, he's not wrong there.

To be described as the worst

play in the last 25 years

is almost as good as being described

as the best play in the last 25 years.

Because people

are going to talk about it,

and that's all that matters.

Here's to the worst play

in the last 25 years.

To the worst play.

Bottoms up. Literally.

- Bye.

- Have a good weekend.

- Bye, Annabell.

- Bye, love.

- Hello, Amber.

- Hello.

Congratulations on a very

successful first week.

- Thank you very much.

- Yes.

Anyway I got this bottle of

chilled vintage champagne

and the Rolls is outside and I thought

perhaps, you know, we could...

celebrate.

The audience really lapped it up,

didn't they?

You soaked the first three rows.

- You know, I actually own the theatre.

- Oh, really?

- Oh, yes, yes.

- Wow.

- The Windmill Theatre, you know that?

- Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, that's... that's one of mine.

- The Revue Bar, of course.

- Yes.

- Yes.

- Raymond's Revue Bar.

I am probably one of the biggest

show producers in the UK.

Wow.

So tell me all about yourself,

warts and all.

- Gosh. Um...

- Actually, skip the warts.

Well, once I was a nanny

for a woman

whose boyfriend happened

to be Sean Connery.

- Really? Yes.

- Mmm.

And, uh, did he try to kiss you?

I was... I was 17.

Mmm, and he was James Bond. So...

Actually, he was, um...

he was really nice.

He, er, gave me two tickets

to the Dr No premiere.

- Did he now?

- Mmm-hmm.

And, uh, he kissed me afterwards.

- Did he? On the lips?

- Yes.

And, um, was it like this?

Mmm. No, it was a little

bit more like, um...

Like that.

Well, um...

I'm shaken but not stirred.

Very good.

You sound very like him.

I've even got the eyebrows.

- Did you notice?

- Yes, you do.

Yes, you'd make a very good,

uh, Honey Ryder.

'Cause I could just imagine you

like Ursula Andress,

you know, emerging from the, uh...

from the waves.

With a dagger strapped to my thigh.

Yes, perhaps you could be, er...

my Honey Ryder in the, er...

in the Caribbean.

I'd love to be. Hmm.

Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.

What time is it?

Just after 2:
00.

That's early.

- What was she like?

- Nice.

Good in bed?

I don't know.

- Night, girls.

- See you later, Jack.

- Have you kept the school uniform?

- Oh, of course I still have it.

Mr Raymond's waiting

at the stage door, Amber.

Oh, thank you.

- Ooh!

- Mr Raymond!

Yes, Mr Raymond.

Going home with the boss-man.

- Maybe.

- You want to be careful.

- Night, Jack.

- Night.

- Oh, hello.

- Hello.

# I'm just mad about Saffron

# Saffron's mad about me

# I'm just mad about Saffron

# She's just mad about me

# They call me mellow yellow

# Quite rightly

I hope it's big enough for you.

I think it is.

Talking about the room.

Nice jugs.

Yes, I fit.

Yay!

I had a mind-reading act

called Mr and Miss-tree.

Mr and Miss-tree!

- Yes. It's very clever word play...

- It's very clever.

Ah, I love it

when you do all the work.

It's so nice when you're on top.

Especially 'cause of my bad back.

There would be a code system,

uh, for the alphabet.

And the word for "P" was "come",

and the word for "N" was "here".

So if she said, "Come, Mr Raymond,

what do we have here?"

I would say,

"Come-here, P-N. Pen. "

Oysters start off as male

and become female.

I did not know that.

- Well, there you go. It's, uh...

- Thank you for that fascinating fact.

I'll give you a fascinating fact

every day.

- Mmm!

- After we've made love.

- Okay.

- A sort of motivation for you.

Oh, great.

I'll be staying at the Mayfair Hotel.

You're a coward.

Do you know that?

You're just like your father.

Walking out on your children, on your...

on your family.

Oh, Howard. Howard's here.

You're just in time

to see Daddy leaving.

Look after your mum.

Do you want to tell him

where you're going?

Go on. Tell your son

where you're going!

You're a lying, cheating bastard

and I hate you!

You just wait.

Wait until I tell Debbie

what her dad's really like.

That some stuck-up

f***ing little vicar's daughter's

more important than she is.

Don't you dare turn

Debbie against me.

Don't you threaten me.

If only I could trust you.

Start a new life with you.

Tonight our happiness begins.

Will you give me your word

- your wife means nothing to you?

- Nothing.

Evening, Jeff. Um, what dressing room

is Amber St George in?

Dressing room four, Mrs Raymond.

Dressing room four, thank you.

Well, I'm not gonna wear this.

I mean, it just feels like

somebody else's suit

and I can't wear it.

You keep your hands

off my husband.

He's got two children!

And they need a father,

even one like him.

He probably tells you you're special,

doesn't he? Oh, he tells everyone that.

Do you know he's had half the girls

in every bloody show we've done?

- Has he had you, love, has he?

- No... Jean.

Oh, you're nothing special.

In fact, I don't even know

what he sees in you.

You're just a jumped-up

posh little tart.

Well, have you got anything to say?

Can you speak?

Yes, I can speak.

"Yes, I can speak.

Yes, I can speak. "

Don't you look your

snotty little nose up at me.

Yes, can I help you?

What are you looking at?

Oh, and you were rubbish

in the play tonight.

Thank you.

- Night-night, Jeff.

- Goodnight, Mrs Raymond.

Is that Jean?

Is she following us?

You're being paranoid.

I told you she was following us.

I'll go and talk to her.

This is silly.

You're the one being silly.

It won't last.

- What won't?

- She won't!

Perhaps, but this is ridiculous.

It's not the 19th century.

Yeah, I don't care what

bloody century we're in!

I'm your wife!

She's making a fool out of me.

It's humiliating.

Well, what are you doing here?

Go home.

- Get some sleep.

- Well, come with me.

Paul, come with me.

Get in the car now.

No.

If you don't leave her now

that is it, it's over.

That is absolutely it.

Don't you come running

back begging.

Jean, I've never begged

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