The Lookalike

1

They say people come into

your life for a reason...

But I never bought into all that.

I sure as hell didn't

deserve a good hand,

dealing drugs for my

ex-basketball coach Bobby...

Dumbing down the population

one brain cell at a time...

Though I had my reasons.

For years, I was hung up on a blown-out

knee that ended my basketball career.

Then, along came Mila.

Choosing my bar for

her final night out...

and everything changed.

Not now.

Sadie Ann Hill.

- How do you spell "Ann"?

- A, double N, no E.

- Where were you born?

- New York.

Your parents were convinced

that you'd be a boy.

- They'd chosen a name.

- Thomas.

No, that's incorrect.

My mom liked the name Thomas.

My dad liked the name William.

When you were 11, your parents took

you to the palace of Versailles.

Yeah?

What did you wear that day?

What did I wear?

I don't know what the f*** I wore.

You had a friend accompany you.

What was her name?

Georgia?

Something happened to

Georgia in Versailles.

Didn't it, Sadie?

The correct answer will ensure that

your friends get what they need.

Yeah, something happened to her.

Okay.

I look forward to seeing you, my dear.

Well, you need a drink?

Hey, hey, hey.

- What happened?

- The guy they want me to screw.

- I know him.

- What? Who is he?

William Spinks.

Oh! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

Oh, God, I'm sorry. Here.

Do you like shoes?

Okay, you like shoes. Here.

You come in here,

I will give you a free pair.

Okay? I'm sorry.

Drew, are you still there?

You thinking of pulling out?

No, I'm not thinking

of pulling out. I just...

- I just need to think about it, okay?

- Okay, baby. Whatever you say.

All right.

Can I get a drink?

Yeah, I'm not going to be able to

make it to Vegas this weekend.

I got too much to do here. All right?

- He's filming it, isn't he?

- Listen!

And he's going to send a

tape to my dad, isn't he?

I could give two fucks.

I just don't want it to go public.

It's not going public. All right?

He's got a reputation, too.

Okay. But I want a half a mil.

You agreed to 300,000.

Yeah, that's before I knew who it was.

You didn't tell me I'd be f***ing

my dad's business partner.

- And my girlfriend thinks...

- Hey, we said to tell no one!

- Relax. She's not going to say anything.

- Hey. She's the only one you told?

Huh? Is she the only one you told?

And what does your girlfriend think?

She thinks that you need

me more than I need you.

- Don't f*** with us, Sadie.

- Frank.

Frank!

F*** it.

Okay. All right. All right!

Half a million.

I swear to God, you tell another soul,

you are f***ing dead!

Hi.

Hi.

Is Joe there?

No, he's not, unfortunately.

Are you... you here for the...

I'm Holt. Hi.

Lacey.

Yeah, well, you can wait here?

No. If he's not here, he's not here.

I should probably go.

Well, I'm sure he won't be long.

All right, that's it.

That's the last of it.

Good girl.

Your dad did like dogs. He just didn't

know how to pick the fast ones.

We done?

- Say hi to your mom for me.

- We're done.

- You don't go near her again.

- Mom's pride and joy.

- College hero to drug zero.

- Goodbye, Vincent.

Yeah. Come on, girl.

- It's good, right?

- Not bad.

Just the right amount of MSG.

Hey, here comes Frank.

What's he doing?

Did you see who came in that?

That ain't his car.

She drives a gold Camry.

Jules is going to take it to the garage,

and then Lewis will drive your jag.

Crack. Whether you're selling it,

smoking it, no good...

What?

No good comes from f***ing crack.

I'm sorry little lady.

This deal is not for us.

What, William Spinks retiring and passing

his Columbian connection not for us?

Anyway. The boat already left.

- What?

- They couldn't wait any longer.

You call Spinks right f***in' now,

and you tell him, she pulled out.

You think he's gonna let us sell

his coke if she's pulled out?

Willy wanted a Booty

call with Sadie hill,

our connection.

- No Booty? We're f***ed.

- Aw, f***.

We're f***ed!

Who is that?

Drew. "How did it go?

- You were supposed to check in."

- That must be that girlfriend.

Relax.

Everything is fine.

He's not picking up. Weird.

He's usually on time,

I mean we arranged to meet here.

Yeah, no, I know. It's not like him,

which is why I can only assume it's...

something's wrong... and I try

not to get into his business.

For legal reasons, too, but from

what I can kind of piece together,

it's something to do with the...

what was he saying the other day?

The supply coming in from the midwest.

Having a hard time getting here.

Probably due to the fact that it's,

you know, illegal.

Who am I to judge?

People can do whatever they want,

and I don't have any issue with

any drugs, that anybody wants to do,

but, it's... the thing I think about,

I think about where it comes from, you know?

I go to the bottom rung, and I think about

the people who are growing it, you know,

these poor peasant farmers in Bogota.

They're not bad people. They're good people,

they're just trying to provide for

their families, but it's very lucrative.

And the government's banned all these

coco plantations, so they come in,

do these raids, and if the farmers

don't have money to pay them off,

they throw them in prison,

and they burn all the crops,

and it takes months to recultivate,

and during that time, who's paying for it?

The kids. The kids whose

fathers are in prison,

whose mothers now taken to drinking

a moonshiney-type palm wine,

so they're alcoholics, they're out of the

picture, and these kids are starving.

And it's a really vicious circle, and I

have a hard time not thinking about it

every time somebody comes

to buy a gram, you know?

They wanna get hopped up on

a Friday night, and I hear...

- I hear kids in Colombia crying,

- I'm sorry for the Colombians, okay?

Yeah. Whoa...

Hey. You okay?

And what are you calling

this show of yours?

- Joe's Grand Cooking Paradis.

- No, no, no, we dropped the "grand".

- Joe's Cooking Paradis.

- Are we sure? It loses something.

Your expectations,

and what's with the paradis?

Why can't you just say paradise?

- People respect the French.

- He's right.

And where are you guys filming

this Martha Stewart sh*t?

- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Hey, how about a little more respect

for our cooking show

aspirations here, pal?

- Thank you, brother.

- Yeah.

Welcome, chef.

- Europe, by the way.

- Expensive.

Yeah, budget's sitting at about 200k.

How are you gonna fund it?

Oh, no, let me guess...

"Proudly brought to you by

Joe's Grand Cocaine paradis."

We dropped the "grand."

Alby's got a guy at the food network.

He says he's interested.

Look, the planet needs a "no vacancy"

sign when it comes to celebrity chefs.

I mean, we got them growing

out of our asses...

Sam, Sam, I'm trying to

turn a new leaf here. Okay?

If you can't stand the heat, don't enjoy

the "all you can eat" perks of my...

Kitchen.

Here you go.

Oh, look at you!

It's so... It's so good to see you.

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