The Lookalike Page #2

I know.

Are you sure? About this?

I'm not going through with chemo again.

And I'm not waiting for

it to slowly claim me.

I'm ready.

You know what they say about nembutal.

Once you try it, you never look back.

Thank you, my beautiful friend.

Yes.

Now, go.

Hurry up. Get in. Get in. Get in.

Hey, that's Bobby's jag.

Go with the Camry or Bobby.

Let's go with Bobby.

Hello?

You okay in there?

Hey, come on. Open up.

- Help.

- Help? I'm trying...

Stop!

What do you mean, a lookalike?

Well, Willie got his validation,

last time he saw Sadie, she was 11.

So, all we have to

do is find a lookalike,

- give her a tutorial, and move ahead.

- God dammit.

- Well, when'd the coke arrive?

- Thursday.

I don't know, man.

What if Spinks finds out?

Well, I'd rather rot in a landfill,

then in prison, so...

Where the f*** are we

gonna find a lookalike?

F***.

You got her?

Hey, man, what if she's got birthmarks?

What?

What if she's got a mark

on her back or her thigh,

some sh*t that Spinks knows

about that's gonna trip us up.

I don't know, what if she's

missing a f***ing nipple?

You want to count her nipples?

F*** me! Okay.

Hey, cowboy, come on, help Frank out.

So Joe's your brother?

Half brother.

Yeah, I live in Houston,

so I don't get to see him very often.

Holt's an unusual name.

Holt? Yeah. Well, my mom,

thinks I'm the son of former Australian

prime minister Harold Holt, who,

as far as I know, drowned in '67.

I was born in '82.

I should probably start by

saying my mother is bananas.

Well, sorry if that's above your head.

Clinical term.

I'm sorry, have you heard from Joe?

No. Sorry, no.

- Do you need your fix?

- Wow.

I'm sorry, I know,

I can be really judgmental.

I... I didn't mean that.

It's not you, at all.

I can remove a person

from the lifestyle.

My lifestyle? What about your brother's

lifestyle? He's the one who's dealing.

Yeah, well, he's got really

good reason to do that.

- Well, yeah, I'm sure he does.

- No, he does. He's, he's...

He's bailing out our dad big time.

He needs to make a lot of money.

- Hi, mojitos. I hope you like mojitos.

- Are you shouting?

I told you I can read lips.

All right, of course,

I'm sorry about that.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

I don't want to sound insensitive,

but you don't sound deaf.

Really? How should deaf people sound?

- Well...

- No, I'm kidding.

- I was deafened three years ago.

- I'm so sorry to hear that.

Oh, rub it in, why don't you?

My voice hasn't changed much,

but over time you can forget

how to pronounce things.

What were you doing in the men's room?

Someone bumped into me earlier.

I went to adjust my little friend, here,

and I didn't see the sign.

Well, you might be missing a leg,

deaf, and occasionally blind,

but you certainly weren't

shortchanged in the looks department.

The looks department?

- Yeah.

- Really?

- That's as good as you can do?

- I'm sorry, what?

What?

- The looks...

- I'm kidding. Deaf joke.

- I heard you. I have perfect hearing.

- Funny. Funny. You're funny. Ha-ha.

You're so beautiful,

oh, my God you're so beautiful,

- what are you saying?

- I'm not... You don't know what I'm saying!

- I'm just say... I was singing...

- I don't appreciate that!

I was... Oh, my God, you're so hot.

- A little tickle in my throat.

- Oh.

Smoky. Sometimes I just like to...

- I'm gonna hit you with this.

- No, no, please, stop. That's heavy.

- I've heard it's...

- I know!

Thank you, Julio, thank you.

Coming through.

Hop you around. Sorry. Thank you.

Hey, Dillon, grab us a cab.

A little further.

A bit of a downslope here.

- Hey, sexy leg!

- Whoo!

Very funny.

Pow-pow-pow-pow-pow-pow-pow!

Idiots. Just ignore them. Taxi!

Here we go. All right. Almost there.

- Whoa!

- Oh.

Okay. You okay?

Thank you.

Hey, hey! Wait up a sec!

Hold up! Hey!

Hey!

You forgot your leg.

Night cap?

Yeah.

Not just basketball.

There's football and baseball.

Every sport he touched. Ping-pong!

Except golf. For some reason,

I was always a good golfer.

You lucked out.

That's the sexiest sport there is.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's really sexy.

Yeah, there's a lot of

hip movement going on.

You got some putting

and some chipping, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Look at you.

- You don't need it.

- Don't need what?

You don't need the sh*t.

I'm serious. You... you...

You have so much going for you.

You're gorgeous and you're

funny and you love your job.

- I do not love my job.

- Well...

I love this acting class I

was taking five years ago.

Yeah? What is that?

Why would you not do that?

You can be an actress.

You're so beautiful.

- Shut up.

- You shut up. I'm serious.

Quit all this sh*t.

You can do whatever you wanna do.

You're way too hot to be a junkie.

You really are.

You're right.

I'm not doing it.

Not me. I'm not doing it.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

That's great. That's great!

Go with this. What about the deal?

- I'll flush it down the toilet.

- I'll do it right now.

- No, no, wait, wait.

- What, what, what? Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- I just need one second.

- Are you sure?

- I'll be right back, okay?

- Do you want me to wait here?

No, I just need one second.

It's not happening tonight.

- You all right?

- Yeah. I'll be right out.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey, Lacey? I don't think Joe's

gonna give you your money back.

- I really don't care.

- Okay.

Hey, princess.

I don't think so.

- I don't know about this.

- We'll find a girl tonight.

Too tall.

- How about you, sugar tits?

- 5'7" and a half.

Hey, this is the last one, all right?

What about her?

Good face, good match.

Yeah, if we had time for a

goddamned breast reduction.

We need a hooker. That's it.

Way too dumb.

- No, that's a stereotype.

- F***, too!

All my years of dealing with hookers,

did you ever meet one like Julia Roberts?

Huh?

I got an idea.

We've got Jade,

Dakota, Madison,

Cindy and Dakota.

Yeah, we don't work the same nights.

Yeah, b*tch gets Fridays

'cause she blew Michael.

- F*** you with your stinky p*ssy.

- Oh, my God.

You have to cut that sh*t out 'cause

you got a motherfucking mouth like...

- Girls!

- Shut up!

Dakota number two's great.

- I'm Dakota one.

- This is bullshit.

All right. Thank you, ladies.

The rest of you can split.

F*** this.

- How tall are you?

- Oh, I'm 5'2" and a half.

Good, good.

So there was a girl who had the gig,

and she can't do it.

So you got the job.

It's a lot of dough.

And, so you know, it's...

They're gonna need you to...

They're gonna need you to...

Need me to what?

We need you to f*** him.

A**hole!

Hey.

Hey, it's not the kind of

request you can prep, okay?

- Jesus.

- What's wrong with you?

Oh, my God.

Hey, Holt!

Hey!

Heading out.

Sorry I have to leave so soon.

I get it. It sucks, but I get it.

I mean, it would've been pretty

weird if Joe came home and...

Yeah, yeah, I didn't even think of that.

You left your purse in there.

Sh*t.

- I don't want to go.

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