The Lost Language of Cranes Page #5

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talked a lot about him. He's American.

Dad said.

He said?

The night we had dinner.

- You and your father had dinner?

- Yes.

On Tuesday.

- Well, you work fast.

- I know where everything goes.

How do you know

we haven't changed everything?

How do you know we haven't

completely reorganized the kitchen?

- I don't.

- Well, we obviously haven't. I'm just teasing.

Why are you so cold to me?

Cold to you?

I come home and you act as though

you'd rather I just jump out the window.

Is that how I make you feel?

Look, I'm sorry, Philip.

But you can't expect me always

to be sweetness and Light

and maternal warmth.

Sometimes your own life

preoccupies you.

You're grown up now.

You can't expect me

to be treating you like a child

and pretending that I'm feeling good

when I'm not.

It just seems to me that ever since I came

home and said I was gay you've been furious.

Why don't you just come out with it...?

- Don't put words into my mouth, young man.

- I'm not. I'm telling you what I think.

I think you're angry

because I haven't behaved

like your textbook liberal mother...

joining some organization...

wanting to talk to you

endlessly about sex...

spending all my time

trying to understand you.

You say I'm not being very kind.

Well, I'm not feeling very kind.

I've got problems

of my own at the moment

and I'm not willing

to spend all my energy

trying to ease your guilt.

My guilt?

You phone me and all you want me to say

is, "It's all right, all is forgiven.

"I love you."

You don't have to be so cruel.

If you don't like it, leave it.

Did Dad tell you why he was

inviting this American?

Just being nice, I suppose.

He told me that he was sort of, well...

trying to fix me up.

What?

Well, he thinks this Winston

character might be gay

and he thought it would be

a nice thing to introduce us.

Didn't he tell you?

No. He did not.

- I'm sorry. I just assumed that he had.

- I want no part in this.

I want nothing to do with it.

Any of it.

Go and lay the table.

(Men laughing)

(Door unlocking)

Oh, hello, son.

Hello, Dad.

Son, this is Winston.

Winston Penn.

Winston, Philip, my son.

Philip, good to meet you.

- My dad talks about you all the time, Winston.

- I'm not sure I wanna know what he says.

Only the highest praise, I assure you, Winston.

You should hear what I say about the others.

- Here, let me take your coat.

- Oh, thank you.

Erm...

Would you like something to drink?

Uh, Coke'd be fine or

mineral water if you have one.

I'll get it.

So...

what do you think?

They're here.

Good.

(Can fizzes)

Good.

(Men chuckling)

- Oh, hello. I'm Rose Benjamin.

- Pleased to meet you.

Rose? Rose?

Oh. Onions.

Just onions.

(Drink fizzing)

(Laughter)

This is really great lasagne.

You've got a good appetite.

I like that.

You know, I once ate three pizzas

rolled up length-wise.

(Laughter)

Tell us about your family, Winston.

Well, I grew up with my three brothers

and my dad on a farm.

My mom died when I was little.

Did you milk cows even; day?

No. We had farmhands.

My brothers and I just went to school

and took trumpet lessons once a week.

This is really great salad.

Er, Winston?

Philip's very big on Proust.

Aren't you big on Proust?

Well, I have read him,

if that's what you mean.

But I'm hardly an expert.

(Owen chuckles)

Just shows you how much I know.

(Owen) Now, this wine comes from the vineyard

where Proust grew up as a little boy.

- Did you know that?

- No, I didn't.

Have you been to Paris?

Have you been to Europe at all?

No, but I think Paris would be

the first place I'd want to go.

Proust's house.

What you must do is you must...

you must really

take time to see Europe...

and particularly,

you must go to Greece.

Greece is absolutely beautiful.

- Mykonos.

- Ah, yes, Mykonos.

Have you been?

As a child.

(Music drowning out dialogue)

Yes, it is and they

just get drunk and...

(Music drowning out dialogue)

(Wine pouring)

(Laughter)

- Owen, thanks. I'll be seeing you tomorrow.

- Oh, must you go so soon?

- I'm afraid so.

- Well, I'm glad you could make it tonight.

- Well, thanks for inviting me.

- Well, Mum, thanks.

Goodbye.

Bye, Dad.

Bye, son.

(Winston) Well, thanks again.

Bye.

Your mood's changed quickly.

I'm feeling a little tired, that's all.

Rose?

How much do you know?

Everything.

(Knock on door)

What are you doing here?

I've come to see you.

How long do you think

we should keep this silence up?

I thought maybe you

wanted to let things be.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Nothing's sleeping here.

Not anymore.

(Chuckles)

What's so funny?

I was just thinking how many times

I didn't notice things.

How many times

I looked the other way.

Drew ridiculous conclusions...

so that I didn't have to face the truth.

Now that everything's

slotting into place...

makes me laugh.

You can leave me, Rose...

if that's what you want.

Or I'll leave if you prefer.

What if it's not what I want?

Then I'll stay.

God knows I want to.

Everything I know...

Everything that makes me

feel safe in this world is here with you.

But I must be honest.

No matter how hard

I try to convince myself that I can stop...

No matter how hard I try

not to think about men...

It's no good, Rose.

I couldn't stop now,

even if I wanted to.

It's beyond me.

Beyond my control.

The other night...

I met someone.

I don't want to hear the gory details.

- It's too much for me.

- For Christ's sake, please.

Please don't shut me up anymore.

It'll just be bad for both of us

if we go on pretending.

How can you say that?

How can you say that?

I don't understand.

Pretending?

All our marriage?

Everything with me?

Just pretending?

Don't you see, even if it's true,

what that does to me?

It wasn't all like that.

Rose...

I love you more than anything on earth.

I always have and I always will.

But there are facts

that have to be faced here,

for me as well as you.

Sexually... I'm more attracted to men.

It's something I've been hiding...

suppressing...

for years.

Not that part. Not that part.

Forgive me, Rose,

for pointing this out to you.

But you haven't exactly

been faithful to me.

I know you thought

I didn't know, but I did.

Not that I minded.

It made me feel better...

Less Like I'd wrecked your Life.

And I thought you deserved that.

Real love from a man who really felt

what men should feel for women.

I never made any ultimatums,

even when I felt jealous.

And I was jealous.

I thought I was getting

what I deserved.

As punishment.

- Is that all?

- Yes.

I don't think my having

a relationship with another man

is in any way comparable,

is in any way like...

My having a relationship

with another man.

Don't interrupt.

Because I was very careful, Owen.

I made sure that I didn't disrupt

what we had together.

It was something separate.

Something I needed for reasons

which are now quite clear and obvious.

But with you...

you're saying that the whole premise

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