The Love Letter Page #2

- [Engine Starts]

[Siren Wailing]

- [Siren Stops]

- [Glass Shattering]

[George] Back away, folks.

All right, be careful, everyone.

Back away. Stay calm.

Coming through.

[Loud Clattering]

[Snorting]

(music) I love Loblolly

Love Loblolly, love Loblolly (music)

(music) Love, love Loblolly, love (music)

Do me a favor, will you?

Will you put bills in one pile,

junk mail in another pile?

- Right, right, right, right.

- Don't throw anything out

until I see it, please?

- Yep. I promise.

- Please? Promise? Okay.

[Thunder Rumbling]

- Hey, you wanna go

to dinner tonight?

- Oh, I can't. I've got a date.

- You know Fabio? His cousin's neighbor.

- Good. Yeah, good.

- He's a plumber.

- [Bell Jingles]

- Good night!

- [Door Closes]

[Sighs]

Hmm.

[Helen's Voice] Dearest, do you know

how in love with you I am?

Did I trip?

Did I stumble?

Lose my balance?

Graze my knee? Graze my heart?

I know I'm in love

when I see you.

I know when I long to see you,

I'm on fire.

Not a muscle has moved.

Leaves hang unruffled by

any breeze. The air is still.

I have fallen in love

without taking a step.

You're all wrong for me,

and I know it.

But I no longer care for my thoughts

unless they're thoughts of you."

Oh, Helen,

I'm gonna, I'm gonna knock off

early 'cause I got a date

with Dan's sister's neighbor.

And... Okay.

When I peel an orange,

when I drive my car,

when I lie down each night

without you,

I remain... yours."

Who the hell is... yours"?

- [Door Opens]

- [Bell Jingles]

- What are you doin'?

- What?

You're all wrong for me,

and I know it.

But I no longer care for my thoughts

unless they're thoughts of you.

[Sighs]

- Oh! Ow! Damn it!

- Sorry I'm late.

Woke up this morning and couldn't

find my bra. Oh, that's gotta hurt.

- Yeah. How was your date last night?

- Oh.

We had great sex.

Great sex. I don't even remember

when I had great sex.

I don't remember

the last time you had sex.

Listen, you threw out a postcard

from your mom.

She says that Florence reminds

her of Loblolly-By-The-Sea.

Yeah, Charming,

but provincial. Lillian."

When did she

leave town again?

Tuesday, August 1,

a year ago.

August 1 a year ago

was a Tuesday?

- Yep.

- Well...

- So, so, she left town

just, just about the...

- I came back.

Oh, you came back.

I wish my mom would do that.

[Frenchman's Voice]

Did I trip? Did I stumble?

Lose my balance?

Graze my knee? Graze my heart?

I prefer it in hardback,

if you still have it available.

I know how it is

with some of these top sellers.

They come out in paperback,

and then they fall apart.

- Do you work here?

- [Men's Voices Together]

When I'm close to you,

I feel your hair brush my cheek

when it does not.

I look away from you sometimes,

then I look back.

When I tie my shoes, when I

peel an orange, when I drive my car...

[Old Women Together]

When I lie down each night without you,

I remain yours.

What about Simone de Beauvoir's

Letters to Sartre?

- That's good.

- Letters to a Young Poet, Rilke.

Oh, I love this book.

Listen to this:

[Reads Aloud In German]

- [German Continues]

- Listen to this one.

- This is from a soldier

in the Civil War.

- Hey, hey.

If I do not return, dear Sarah,

do not mourn me dead.

When my last breath escapes me on the

battlefield, it will whisper your name."

[Johnny's Voice] Dearest, do you know

how much in love with you I am?

I know I'm in love when I see you.

I know when I long to see you.

When I lie in bed each night

without you.

[George's Voice] I've fallen in love

without taking a step.

You're all wrong for me,

and I know it.

I'm on fire.

Not a muscle has moved.

The leaves hang unruffled

by any breeze.

- Janet called.

Told me you had a bee problem.

- What?

- I got all the right gear

to de-bee the place.

- [Janet] George, over here!

- [Bees Buzzing]

- Hey, George.

Have you ever, um...

Have you ever been on fire?

- On fire?

- Yeah.

Well, I'm near fire.

Trained to fight fire,

but have I ever been

on fire?

No, never. Thank God.

- I don't mean literally.

I mean emotionally.

- [Buzzing Continues]

Oh, you mean passion.

Well, yeah.

Sure. Sure.

I get fired up

when I listen to opera.

All the great human emotions

in three short hours, and all

I got to do is sit there.

I don't like opera much.

It's too...

- Too, too...

- too emotional.

You know,

all those endless feelings.

- Huh.

- [Janet] Hey, what's going on?

- Well, we're talking about opera.

- Oh, I love opera!

- You do not! No you don't.

- I do.

- I listen to it

when I vacuum all the time.

- Will you give me a hand here?

- I got it.

- All right. All right.

Uh, hand me my smoke.

- I'm ready.

- Oh, boy.

- Thanks, George. I'll buy ya dinner.

- Great. You're on!

- Be careful. Get it?

- You don't like opera.

- I do too.

- You don't even understand Italian.

Opera's in Italian?

[Whistle Blowing]

[Johnny] So old Loblolly

was once called Recklesstown?

[Scattergoods] My great aunt, Patricia

Scattergoods Randolph, raised hounds.

Before it was

Helen's bookstore,

they all lived

in that house together...

Aunt Batty Patty

and the dogs.

- [Whistle Blowing]

- A thinning gene pool

is a terrible thing to witness.

Ah.

Civilization's crowning achievement.

The cocktail hour.

So Helen's bookstore once housed

a madwoman and her dogs?

And your parent's house once housed

a speakeasy during Prohibition.

[Blowing Continues]

I like that name.

Recklesstown.

[Seagulls Cawing]

- So, you run.

- Yeah.

Hey, did you know your bookstore

used to house a madwoman and her dogs?

Still does.

[Panting]

Hey, uh, bet I can beat you

to that rock over there.

On your mark,

get set, go!

So, uh,

what if I win?

- [Grunts]

- Oh!

I'll cook you dinner!

- [Doorbell Rings]

- Oh, he's early.

- You're early.

- [Johnny] Yeah.

- Hi.

- I didn't use conditioner.

It really saves a lot

of time in the shower.

(music) I took my troubles

down to Madame Ruth (music)

- I hope you like spaghetti.

- Oh, yeah. Homemade sauce?

- Uh, uh-huh.

- Oh, that's great. My mom

would make it with bay leaves.

- Bay leaves are good.

- One or two?

- (music) Love potion number nine (music)

- Two. That's how I make it.

- (music) I told her that

I was a flop with chicks (music)

- Hey, chaise lounge.

(music) I've been this way

since 1956 (music)

- (music) She looked at my palm

and she made a magic sign (music)

- It's very chaise.

(music) She said, What you need

is love potion number nine" (music)

(music) She bent down and turned

around and gave me a wink (music)

(music) She said, I'm gonna mix it up

right here in the sink" (music)

(music) It smelled like turpentine

and looked like India ink (music)

(music) I held my nose, I closed

my eyes, I took a drink (music)

- (music) I didn't know

if it was day or night (music)

- Excuse me.

- (music) I started kissing everything

in sight (music)

- You can get your wine.

(music) But when I kissed a cop

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