The Love Punch Page #7

Catch them!

Catch them!

Hey! Vive la rvolution!

Vive la rvolution!

Oh!

- Oh, my God, no!

- No, no.

- Sorry, sorry-

- Sorry.

Ooh! Ow!

I knew there was something familiar

about you.

Ooh!

Ow!

Oh, no! They're real.

OK, let's make this simple.

Where is the real diamond?

Bloody hell.

- Oh!

- Oh, that's a whole other level of pain.

Look, we're just a disgruntled employee and

his pushy wife who want back what's theirs.

- You didn't say ex-wife.

- No, I didn't, did I?

- Mmm...

- We should focus.

- Right.

- Have you ever heard of karma?

Perhaps you're being punished

for all the bad things

that you might have done in your life.

It's just a thought.

Oh, no! That's just mean!

You're just being a bully now!

Be grateful, I don't hit women.

Now, tell me where my diamond is!

I swallowed it.

I sold the diamond.

What?

I swapped it and sold the real one.

Gave the money to charity,

an orphanage in Calcutta.

What? Why?

A test, to see if you really loved me.

You're crazy.

I'll deal with you later.

Get rid of them.

Oh, no.

OK, er...

If I'd known,

I'd have worn better underwear.

I don't think it's your underwear

you should be worrying about, Pen.

- These things reveal everything.

- What do you mean?

- Yeah, every nook and cranny.

- Oh, God!

What are you looking at?

Damn cheek!

Oh, yes, that's, er... Saigon,

Vietnam, 1964.

Took a bit of shrapnel, yeah.

Bloody hell, they left some forceps

in there. Look, the clamp's in there.

- I didn't know that.

- You can go.

Bloody Vietnam.

- Take them to the cliff.

- Huh? The cliff?

Whisky? A last drink?

Not my tipple.

- I do hope they'll be all right, Jerry.

- I'm sure they'll be fine, love.

- Do you think?

- Yeah.

Stop whistling, Richard.

- Please, stop whistling. It drives me mad.

- Helps me relax, Kate.

Well, it doesn't help me relax.

It's driving me bloody mad.

OK, I'll stop.

I've stopped whistling now, OK?

We've stopped.

Yes.

- We're moving.

- Yes.

- Kate.

- What?

- I just wanted to say...

- What?

I just wanted to say, Kate,

that whatever happens...

- You're not trying to do a final speech, are you?

- No, not at all. Well, maybe a little.

It's just that...

- Shut up!

- All right, I will.

Oh!

- Oh!

- Oh!

Don't... move.

- Oh.

- Ohh!

- What's going on?

- We're going back. We're going back!

- No, no, no, no, no.

- Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh.

No, no, no, no.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry, Kate.

What for?

For not being a good husband.

I'm sorry too, then.

For what?

For not letting you be one.

What do you mean?

- We were too young.

- Uh-huh.

It takes two, you know, to totally

ruin a marriage, and I played my part.

Oh, God!

Anyway, what does it matter now?

We're...

We're going to die!

- Richard!

- It's OK. I've got you. Hold on.

Kate, I think we should try again.

- Try what again?

- Me and you.

What are you talking about, Richard?

I think we should finally sail round the

world, like we've always talked about.

I've had such a great time

these past few days.

Could you just concentrate?

Concentrate on holding on!

- Well, don't you feel anything, Kate?

- Yes, fear!

All right. OK.

Well, just think about it.

I like you, I really like you.

Come on, you f***er!

Come on!

- Are you OK?

- Manon!

- Manon!

- Oh! Oh, thank you. Thank you!

Oh, no, it is I who should be thanking you

for making me see things clearly.

Merci beaucoup.

We must go. Help me.

Here we go.

- Nice girl, passionate.

- Oh, I do hope she'll be all right.

Oh, a headstrong girl like her,

she'll be fine.

We're gonna have to swim out of here.

You know that?

- We'll be sitting ducks.

- Yeah, well, do you have a better idea?

I know a man with a boat.

- You do'?

- Yeah.

- Online?

- Yes, Richard, online.

You chat, you get to know each other, and you

agree to meet up, if you like each other.

- But you've never met him?

- No, not yet.

So you don't even know if you'll like him.

Well, he's 57. He lives in Paris

and has house and a boat

in the south of France. What's not to like?

Good heavens, Kate!

How shallow you've become.

That must be the captain.

Bonjour, Kate.

It's me, Jean-Baptiste.

Bloody hell!

You know, I'm twice your age.

What can I say? I like older women.

Why lie on your profile?

I want women to see me as a mature man.

Otherwise, I feel like a total cliche, you know?

Young, rich, handsome, with a speedboat...

So terribly predictable.

He's your lover?

Ex-lover.

But you still have some feelings for him?

I don't know.

It's not good to look back.

No, you're right.

- It can make you feel a bit sick.

- Oh.

Shall we head back?

- Well, actually...

- We are going out.

- Oh, really? Out?

- Yes, on a date.

- Well, not a date. Not...

- Yes, a date.

But what about the, er...

...diamond?

You can handle that, can't you?

Are you telling me

you don't want to see this through now?

No, I... Well, I think so.

I mean, can't you deal with it on your own?

I'll meet you at the rendezvous in Paris.

Right.

Right, I see. Well...

I suppose I did start all this for a reason

and the reason was for the...

...for the people, for...

for Doreen, for...

Right, I'll be off, then.

- You take good care of her.

- I will.

So, first of all,

we have some champagne at my villa.

OK. It's a bit early, isn't it,

for champagne?

It's never too early for champagne.

It's always too late.

Ah!

Oh, thank goodness. You made it.

Where's Kate?

Ah, she's not here.

Where is she?

- She's with a Frenchman.

- Oh!

- What Frenchman?

- Jean-Baptiste.

You knew about him?

Oh! Oh, right. Jean-Baptiste, yeah.

Did everybody know about the Frenchman

apart from me?

But why is she meeting him?

You're back together now.

No, Pen, we're not back together.

You seemed so happy

so we just went along with it.

I suppose it was a bit

of a long shot anyway.

Probably wouldn't have worked

second time around.

Exactly.

Anyway, the diamond.

Where is it?

- Ah, yeah.

- There's been a slight delay.

Yeah, but... Pen's got me

on the old prune juice.

Should get the bomb doors open.

Maybe? No, false alarm.

- Where are you going?

- Ah, good morning.

There is a robe on the chair.

- I'm so sorry about last night.

- Oh, Jean-Baptiste, it was lovely.

- Yeah, but I drunk too much and...

- It happens. You're young.

You've got much more experience than me.

That thing that you did...

Oh, thank you.

So, what would you like to do today?

We can have some breakfast outside or...

We can take my boat somewhere.

You can practise your French.

Ooh.

- You like this song?

- I love this song.

- Who is it?

- Free. You know...

No, I don't know this band.

No... of course you don't.

It was the linseeds that ultimately did it,

such a smooth transition.

- Well done, Jerry.

- Darling.

Amazing. Look at it.

It's beautiful. Touch it.

No, I think I'll pass, Jerry.

Thank you.

Where is this man, Diamond Dave?

Patience, my dear, patience.

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