The Loved One Page #9

Herkovitz.

Nobel, schmobel.

It's got to be national appeal, Harry.

Yeah. Sure.

Well, wait a minute.

What about a multimillionaire, Will?

You're working the wrong side

of the street, Harry.

Now, wait a minute, Will.

I think I've got it this time.

How about a baby? A babe in arms?

From a babe in arms to a babe in orbit.

- How's that sound, huh?

- Hold it, Harry. Hold it!

Condor, you shall fly again.

Well, the only thing

that worries me, Will, is...

...that Blodgett dame, will she buy it?

Remember, you carry the ball.

She's probably pretty classy

and she'll appreciate your style.

Don't be too pushy.

She may still be in mourning.

Table down front, boys?

We're looking for Mrs. Blodgett,

Sadie Blodgett.

Yes, widow of the late astronaut,

Captain Todd "The Condor" Blodgett.

Okay. I'll get her.

You can wait here for her.

Look, don't call him a hero to me.

I was there, right?

Well, he fell off a barstool

and broke his neck.

That's how it really happened.

Of course, they kind of hushed it up.

And, naturally, then everybody said

it was my fault. But I don't see it that way.

I mean,

I think it's the fault of the system.

Don't you?

Oh, yes, I do indeed. Yes.

What are you, English?

- Yes, I am.

- I like Englishmen.

- Have a drink?

- Oh, thank you.

- Mrs. Blodgett, I'm sure that you...

- You can call me Sadie.

Yes, well, I'd...

- I'd like to very much.

- Then why don't you?

What I was going to say, Sadie,

is that I'm sure...

...that you can appreciate

how important...

...your attendance

at the ceremony will be...

...and also a certain amount of decorum

will be expected.

Oh, I know the drill.

I mean, I can make those scenes...

...when I want to.

Tell you what.

I've gotta get on back to the office.

Why don't you finish up here

with Mrs. Blodgett.

Yes, Dennis. Why don't you stay...

...and help me pick out

something to wear.

- Good night, Mrs. Blodgett.

- Good night.

Tell me, Buck, what about clearance

from the Space Agency?

Think we'll have any trouble there?

Well, I'll tell you frankly, Will.

I don't trust those civilian eggheads.

Too much of the old pinko "prevert"

influence to suit me.

I think I'll go straight

to Mr. Big with this one.

Good idea, Buck.

Blessed Reverend?

Your brother's back.

Sadie swallowed it all. Hook, line and pull.

Right, Dennis?

Good work, Harry. Good work.

Well, gentlemen,

this is quite an historic moment.

We're about to step across

the threshold of a new era.

Space burial and resurrection now.

- What about space conservation, Will?

- We're working on that, Buck.

- Gunther?

- Orbital clusters.

With concentric elliptical patterns,

it's possible orbits transect infinitely.

Thus, utilizing a relative small area

of any postulated space limit.

What would happen

if two of the loved ones collided?

Gentlemen, I'm afraid some people

just aren't ready for the space age.

"I had a terrible awakening and now I..."

Okay, okay, back to work. Where was I?

Thanatogenos,

she's had a terrible awakening.

The man she thought she loved turned out

to be a liar and a cheat and has lost his job.

Okay. Tell her to marry the other guy.

That seems to be about

what she intends to do.

Aime! Aime!

Aime!

Now, you'll have to listen to me...

...or listen to your conscience

for the rest of your life.

Now, I'm talking about our oath.

The pledge of our troth, Aime,

made on hallowed ground.

You're flooding the carburetor.

Leave it alone for a minute.

Just consider your flagrant disregard

for the most sacred of all oaths.

You could release me from that pledge.

- And you would if you were a gentleman.

- I will never release you.

The first lady embalmer

of Whispering Glades...

...and now I've disgraced it.

And the Blessed Reverend too.

Let me tell you something.

Your so-called Blessed Reverend...

...is nothing but a common crook.

- I won't listen to you.

And that idiotic Whispering Glades

is being sold out from under you.

Sold out, do you hear?

Sold out. That Blessed Reverend, he...

He's going to do a different racket!

Hello? Yes, who is it?

The Blessed Reverend? Yes, sir.

Yes. Yes. Yes, I'll be right over.

Yes, Blessed Reverend.

Yes. I'm fine. No, I'll be right there, sir.

Immediately, sir. Yes.

Laf!

Laf, where are you?

Mrs. Joyboy, where is Laf?

I've got to talk to him.

Please, you don't understand.

It's very important.

Aime! Aime!

Anyone in?

Excuse me, I was looking for Aime...

Miss Thanatogenos.

Do you know where she went?

Oh, my goodness, are you all right?

No! No! No!

- Do you see the cranberry sauce?

- Cranberry sauce?

Where is he?

- The Brahmin, the Guru Brahmin?

- Hump?

- Hump?

- Yes, lady. That's his name.

- You mean Hump?

- Yes.

He's sitting at the corner of the bar.

Mr. Hump. Mr. Hump.

- He wants to bill daily.

- Mr. Hump.

- Tell us another one, Hump.

- Mr. Hump!

Yeah?

- What can I do for you, baby?

- Mr. Hump, may I speak to you?

Give us a couple of drinks, Joe.

What'll you have, baby?

Nothing, thank you. I don't drink.

- Can we go somewhere else, please?

- Let's have a couple of drinks first.

No, you don't understand.

I've got to have your advice.

I've always followed your advice.

I'm Aime. I'm Aime Thanatogenos.

- Thanatogenos?

- Don't you remember me?

I always write to you.

"Increbidible."

I don't have anybody else

that I can turn to.

Fantastic.

Look, please, you've got to help me.

She's a ghoul from the graveyard.

Please!

Will you please tell me what to do?

Yes, I'll tell what to do.

Go across the street

to the Press Building.

Take the elevator to my floor.

It's the 14th.

Go into my office...

...and then you jump out of the window.

How's that for openers, honey?

Sold out! Sold out!

Sold out!

That Blessed Reverend,

he's going to do a different racket!

Miss Thanatogenos.

Oh, Blessed Reverend,

I must talk with you.

Of course.

Won't you please come up to my office?

Let me get you a drink.

Some Benedictine, perhaps, from

the monasteries of the Trappist monks.

A truly spiritual potion.

No. No, thank you.

Please.

Yes, we are rather overdue for a little talk,

aren't we, my child?

Reverend Glenworthy...

...I know this will sound

very foolish to you.

But I was so shocked

by what this person said to me...

...that I felt I had to tell you about it.

Exactly what did he say,

Miss Thanatogenos?

He said that...

That you...

You were going to change

Whispering Glades into something else.

You have an astonishing purity,

Miss Thanatogenos.

It's a quality I've always found

exceedingly attractive in the young.

It was just madness what he said,

wasn't it?

Just madness and evil?

Let me assure you, Miss Thanatogenos...

...that there will most definitely

be a place for you...

...regardless of any change in operation.

Beginning with a stiff boost in salary.

But Whispering Glades...

Yes, yes, that was all very well

in the light of its time.

But now all things must change.

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