The Luck of the Irish Page #3

you want from life.

Sorry he's gone?

He's a wonderful man, Mr. Clark.

It all depends on what

you call wonderful.

He's a nice fellow, he has brains,

he's a first-class writer, but-

but he's willing to throw it

all away for money-

to subordinate himself

to an egomaniac...

to become just another bright, young man

who's made good-

And you call yourself his friend...

saying things like that about him

the minute his back is turned.

Said the same things to his face.

He knows what's best for himself.

Don't waste your fine Irish temper,

my dear. It isn't worth it.

- How do you do, Mr. Fitzgerald?

- Hello, Doc.

- Ruth.

- Oh, Mr. Fitzgerald!

- Is Mr. Augur in?

- Haven't seen you in a long time.

- Is he in?

- Yes. Mr. Fitzgerald to see Mr. Augur.

Go right in.

- Mr. Fitzgerald?

- Yes.

Please sit down. Mr. Augur said

he will see you in a few minutes.

You mean he said, "Keep the so-and-so

waiting 10 minutes and then show him in. "

Yes. No.

- Tell him I'll be back in a couple of years.

- Mr. Fitzgerald, please!

Please, Mr. Fitzgerald.

I'll tell him. I'll tell him.

Mr. Augur, Mr. Fitzgerald won't wait.

- He's on his way out-

- Oh, let him come in.

Please come in, Mr. Fitzgerald.

- Hey, D.C. - You- You kept

me waiting for 48 hours.

- Gosh, it's good to see you.

- Good to see you.

- Come in. Make yourself at home. You know each other?

- Yeah. Hello, Higgenbottom.

- Higgenbotham.

- Say, you've had the place done over, haven't you?

Yeah, it was my daughter's

idea. Cost a fortune.

Sit down. I want to talk to you.

I haven't seen you in years.

You know...

I, uh-

Didn't you have something

to do this afternoon?

- Oh, uh, yes.

- Yeah, well, do it.

He's invaluable. Absolutely invaluable.

And he drives me nuts.

Don't disturb us.

Now, why do you think

I sent for you?

I'm not very good at guessing games.

Hold on to your chair.

Fitz...

I'm gonna run for the Senate.

What for? I thought Senator Ransome

owed his election to you.

Oh, Ransome's all right, but it's not

the same as holding the reins yourself.

Fitz, there comes a time when a man reaches

the top of the ladder in his chosen field.

There's nowhere else to go.

I've reached that point.

Other men go in for

breeding thoroughbreds and...

collecting paintings.

They're just toys.

Say, you know the oldest

and the noblest occupation of them all?

- I think so.

- I mean politics.

Well, you'll admit there's certain points

of similarity.

Oh, don't be cynical.

Politics in a democracy.

Well...

where do I come in?

You're gonna put me in the Senate.

Oh, no.

I'm no politician.

Exactly.

Yeah, I read every one of your articles

in the American Spectator...

not that I agree

with your conclusions...

or the rabble-rousing

policy of the paper...

but one thing stands out.

You know people.

You understand the issues.

Take this piece you wrote

about my Paris speech.

- Called it boneheaded.

- Dunderheaded.

Dunderheaded. Yeah, well, what-

what difference does it make?

The point is you were right. You put your

finger on the weakness of my argument.

I could have put my foot in it.

Well, that's exactly

why I want you on my side.

- Of course, I was 99% right. Have some of this?

- No, thanks.

Well, here's my proposition.

Come in with me.

Write my speeches, be my right hand.

Be my brain, my conscience.

Frankly, I want the money...

but there's one thing

we ought to clear up first.

You may not like what I write.

We may disagree.

Well, of course we'll disagree.

I hate people who agree with me.

- Is it a deal?

- It's a sale.

Good.

We'll show them who's

a dunderhead, huh?

- That's what I'm afraid of.

- Oh, those school of journalism boys. Ah-

- Oh, how's Frances?

- Frances?

- Frances.

- Oh. She wants you to call her. I'm glad you reminded me.

Probably should have done it soon-

You don't mind if I use one of these?

No, it's a private line.

That one over-

What's my home number?

- Rhinelander 4-5813.

- Rhinelander 4-5813.

Uh, never mind that. Bring in Mr.

Fitzgerald's keys and his address.

- Yes, sir.

- Hello? Miss Augur, please.

Mr. Fitzgerald. I don't

have any address.

I got you an apartment. You know

how hard it is to find a place, even for me?

Hello, Frances?

Fitz!

Yeah, about an hour ago.

I'm with him now.

No, the devil himself doesn't have

enough money to buy it.

What? Dinner tonight?

Fine. I'd love to, if-

if I don't have to work

too late at the office.

You don't start

till tomorrow morning.

All right. I'll tell him.

Fine. I'll pick you up-

Good. Okay. Bye-bye.

She says I can't work too late.

Ah. Takes after her mother.

Ah, here are your keys.

- Here's the address, Mr. Fitzgerald.

- Thank you.

- And find out where Mrs. Augur hires servants and get him one.

- Yes, sir. It's the Acme Agency.

What do you do with a servant?

I never had a servant before in my life.

We can't have you bothered with trifles.

Gotta keep that brain of yours on ice.

We're gonna do big things

together, my boy.

Yes. Big things.

- Cream?

- Mm-hmm.

- What was her name?

- Whose name?

Your reason for being two days late.

Oh.

Norah.

- Pretty, I suppose.

- If you like the Irish.

I always have.

I'm glad you're back, Fitz.

And I'm glad you're going to be sensible.

- Sensible?

- Mm-hmm. You know what I mean.

It's a shame to waste your talent

on the kind of writing you've been doing.

Well, some people

didn't think it was entirely wasted.

Oh, but it was, as far as you yourself

were concerned.

Maybe you're right at that.

I only started being sensible today...

and already I have a big salary

and an apartment.

- See?

- Yeah, I see.

I've missed you, Fitz.

I've missed you too.

You're a liar. You never even gave me

a thought all the time you were away.

I'm surprised you even called me.

Well, I was only trying to be sensible.

After all, the boss's daughter.

Was that the only reason?

How can you be

after asking a question like that?

And yourself as pretty as a bay filly

in a field of clover.

Oh.

Fitz, after only five days in Ireland,

that's rank affectation.

Hello, Fitz.

- Well, well, look who's here. Mary's little lamb.

- Hello, Charlie.

- How are you, Higgenbottom?

- Uh, Higgenbotham.

I just rode uptown with D.C. He'd like to

get your thinking on the Labor Management Act.

Now, my idea of- of the proper kind

of statement is this-

Oh, dear, dear, Fitz.

Look at the time.

We'll never make it. We're half an hour late

for the curtain already.

- Hurry. Have you paid the check?

- No, I haven't.

- Sign Father's name, Charlie.

- Don't do that. Take it out of this, will you, Higgenbottom?

- Higgenbotham.

- Hmm? Oh. Yes.

Wait.

- We were a little rude, weren't we?

- Yes, we were...

but I want Father and all his stooges

to understand...

- that their jurisdiction does not extend beyond office hours.

- Here you are, sir.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Come on. You needn't smile quite so cordially...

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