The Luck of the Irish Page #4

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Huh?

Mom?

- I know it's hard to believe, Kyle.

I mean, when I first met your mother--

You're not a leprechaun, too?

No!

No. I'm from Cleveland.

Oh.

- We'd have told you sooner, Kyle,

but we wanted you to grow up like

a normal American boy.

But then when I started to have

this wee little spell--

Mom, you're a foot tall.

Oh, it could be worse, believe me.

It's probably just an allergic reaction.

Boiled potatoes,

something like that.

I don't think you have any reason to worry.

What?

Me? You mean,

I'm a leprechaun, too?

And what else would you be?

And you, with the blood

of the Clan O'Reilly

rushin' about in your veins.

Doesn't mean you can't lead

a perfectly normal life, Kyle.

- Normal?

Yes.

- Normal? Dad, look at my hair,

and...I'm getting shorter.

You don't look short to me.

[ IRISH ACCENT ] How's it look, Da?

Maybe an inch...

...or two.

Two inches?

Dad, you said this was like,

an allergic reaction or something.

[SIGHS ]

How long's it take to wear off?

- Well...

actually, it's never happened before.

[ FLUTE PLAYING ]

According to your mother,

as long as the O'Reillys have their luck,

every member of the clan can pass

as a normal human.

Ordinary size, all of that.

of course, I'm not really sure

how it all works.

Well, OK. OK.

Well, maybe that's the trouble with Mom,

You know, I mean,

maybe we're just out of luck.

No. No. That can't be the problem.

Well, how do you know that?

Your lucky coin.

That's the luck of the Clan O'Reilly.

[ FLUTE CONTINUES ]

[ SIGHS]

Mom.

Mom, I lost my lucky coin.

What's this about losing your coin,

when it's hangin' about your very neck?

Look. it's not mine. It's fake.

Somebody must've switched it

with the real one.

[ WHISPERING ] The dirty thief!

It's nothin' but a bit of iron

and gold paint on it.

Are you saying somebody

stole your coin?

You know, I bet it was

this really weird old guy

me and Russell talked to

at THE LUCK OF THE IRISH,

You know, that Seamus McTiernan

dancing thing?

Yeah, I bet he was like

a pickpocket or something.

Wasn't that show at the fairgrounds?

Kyle, you know you're

not supposed to go there

without asking us.

Look, Dad. I just wanted

to learn about my heritage.

You can't blame him, Bobby,

And we not telling him the truth.

Now, what's this

about an old man?

Gray in the hair, was he?

Yeah, I mean,

he started walking up to us

and talking about his shoes.

Said he made 'em himself.

Was it a snake he had

on the sole of his shoe?

Yeah. Yeah, it was.

The miserable old sinner,

to play such a trick,

And you his own grandson.

He was my grandfather?

He's your grandfather O'Reilly.

And may his name be cursed for a liar.

Oh, I'll not let him get away with it,

If I have to pry the coin

out of his thieving fingers meself.

And he me own Da.

I knew we should've moved

as soon as they built that new

potato chip factory.

We were bound to run

into him sometime.

You mean, Emerald Isles?

Sure, and it's he that

owns the whole company,

and still can't stew oatmeal

without burning it.

Come along, boys!

And we'll shame him with

what he's done.

Uh...

Uhh!

Unh!

Ahh.

Honey, I think maybe I should drive.

Yeah.

[ KATE ]:
Ohh! Ooh!

Oooh!

Ooh!

Kate, I think you

should wait in the car.

You might...attract attention.

D'unh!

That's how it was

when we first came to this country, hmm?

People looking down on ya

'cause you're a bit different.

Uh, Mom?

Am I gonna get as small as you are?

Ah, you're only half leprechaun, Kyle.

It'll be days before you're down to this size.

Plenty of time for me to make you

some wee little ghillies for your feet.

Don't worry, Kyle.

We'll get your coin back.

[ IRISH ACCENT ]

He says, he's married to

Mr. O'Reilly's daughter.

Right.

[ SIGHS ]

[ IRISH ACCENT ]

The tour group is here.

Son, relax.

Listen, everything

is gonna be fine.

If my grandda is right--

I mean, granddad

Why don't I ever get to see him?

Because I'm not...

because I'm not a leprechaun,

and they don't believe in

mixed marriages.

That's why we had to leave Cleveland.

We even changed our names,

so Kate's family couldn't find us.

Well, if you and Mom, you know, like,

love each other, why should it matter?

Well...

sometimes leprechauns

can be small-minded.

Come on.

Right, sir.

I'll handle it.

Mr. O'Reilly says he doesn't

have a daughter,

and for you to go away

and not to be bothering him again.

I'm not leaving here until

I see Mr. O'Reilly.

Aah!

Oof!

Are you OK, Da?

Oh! Don't worry, Kyle,

we're not giving up.

Just gonna talk a little strategy

with your mother, that's all.

Yeah.

Oh, look at them. You look so nice.

On behalf of our president and founder,

Mr. Reilly O'Reilly,

I'd like to say welcome

to Emerald Isle.

Uh, if you follow me,

we'll begin the tour.

Please stay with

the group at all times.

Some of the machinery

can be dangerous.

Now, the potato chip was

invented in the late 1800s,

when a cook accidentally sliced

some potatoes too thin

and discovered they turned

crisp when he fried 'em.

As you can see,

we've come a long way since then.

Are there any questions so far?

Yes?

- Will we get to meet Mr. O'Reilly?

Oh, no!

Mr. O'Reilly is far too busy

to be seeing us today.

Where's his office?

It's in another part of the building.

Now, if you'll follow me,

we'll first see

how the potatoes are washed.

What are you doing here?

Shh! Come on.

You're not a Young Achiever.

I have to talk to Mr. O'Reilly.

- Why?

Remember how I told you

my coin was stolen?

Well, I think

he's the one that took it.

He's like a millionaire.

Why would he steal your coin?

Because he's my grandfather.

Why would your grandfather

steal your coin?

Do you have to know everything?

He and my mom don't really get along,

And I guess he did it to get back at her.

I think we have intruders.

[ KLAXON BLARING ]

[ MEN SHOUTING ]

Come on!

[ KLAXON CONTINUES ]

[ GUARD ]:
Come on, guys!

Why is your grandfather

mad at your mother?

Because she married my father.

Why doesn't he like your father?

Because he's not a leprechaun.

What?

Ooh!

We've got 'em!

Come on!

[ KLAXON CONTINUING ]

Unh!

Whoa!

Get in!

Go!

Ohh! Oh!

Ahh.

[ BONNIE SCREAMS ]

[ BONNIE SCREAMS AGAIN ]

Get off.

Aah!

Aaaaah!

Whoa!

[ KLAXON STILL BLARING ]

Uhh! Unh!

Let go!

Aah! Aah!

Kyle!

Oof! Aaaaah!

Aaaah! Oof!

Better not bake this one, boys.

I think it's me grandson.

[ KYLE MOANS ]

Oh! Oh! I thought I was baked.

A good boy like you

has got nothing to fear from the oven.

Aaah! Kyle!

Oof! Ohh!

Kyle. Kyle, are you all right?

[IRISH ACCENT ]

Ahh, Yeah.

At least I found me grandda.

Oh. Oh, Kyle.

What?

Oh, no. Im turning into a Vulcan.

Ohh.

Sydney.

- Mr. O'Reilly.

You'll feel better

after having a lie down in me office.

Or better yet,

make yourself a pair of shoes.

It's good for the soul.

When you make your own shoes,

You're the master of your feet.

[ KYLE ]:
Look. I don't want

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