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The Man Page #3
Get up!
Hey... don't make me
chase you.
I'm tell...
- Hey!
- Stop!
Stop! Help me!
- Hey!
- Help!
You're under arrest.
Hands on the car.
On the car!
Who the hell
is this guy?
Run that.
He's international.
- Ow!
- Watch your head.
Okay, that's it.
I am writing a letter.
- Number 3.
- Number 3.
Three, step forward.
Three, that's you.
- That's him.
- You sure?
I'll never forget
that face.
- All right, thank you. You can go.
- Excuse me.
I'd like to speak
to whoever's in charge, please.
All right, number 3, stay.
The rest can go.
Thank you.
Boy, sometimes you
just have to speak up.
- Are you in charge here?
- Yes, I am.
Oh, boy, have I been waiting
to talk to you.
- Really?
- My name is Andy Fiddler.
and believe you me,
I never thought I'd be standing here
in a police station
- with a bullet wound in the keister.
- Hmm.
But I am extremely upset
with this man here,
and I must confess
with your whole operation in general,
because quite frankly,
I have nothing to do with any of this.
Well, that's not what
it looks like, Mr. Keister.
The weapon you used
in the diner,
stolen from A.T.F.'s vault.
The gun you're robbing
the cashier with.
Oh, no no no no.
No no, there's no robbing.
I'm not robbing.
You see, although I can certainly see
how you'd get
that impression.
We also got a red notice
from Interpol when we ran your name.
There's an outstanding
warrant for your arrest.
- What?
- Istanbul, Turkey ring any bells?
Oh. Oh, yes.
It does ring some bells,
and believe it or not, there is
a perfectly reasonable explanation
for that, and you will
find it very funny,
- 'cause it's quite a story.
- Tell it on the way.
- Place your left hand here.
- So I took the family to Europe
in the summer of '98, and one
of our stops was Istanbul, in Turkey...
a must-see
if you've never been.
- Anyhoo, my wife has this thing about...
- Yo, Vann, phone call.
...Persian rugs.
Okay, I'm not a complainer,
but that officer
was very abusive.
I mean, not only was
he physically violent,
but... but more disturbing to me,
he... he was just rude.
- Vann.
if you're coming
to her recital tonight.
Oh you know,
I can't.
Uh, I'm in the middle
Um, I gotta go.
Would you tell her for me?
You need to tell her.
So when we got back
to the hotel,
we discovered
the rug is too big for the suitcase.
So we decided
to leave the rug at the hotel
to be sent to us
when we got back home.
Turn right.
So we finally get home,
but we never got the rug.
Long story short,
we get a letter from the hotel
that said the rug had
been seized at Customs.
Now evidently
this rug had been stolen.
It was a 1,000-year-old
prayer rug,
and... and it was stolen,
but how was I to know?
I didn't know, and I'm the one
that's out $230.
Yeah, it was all very innocent,
as I'm sure
- you can now understand.
- I see.
- Lock him up.
- What?
- Let's go.
- What?
- Let's go.
- Get him out of here!
What? Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
- This way.
- I have done nothing wrong!
- Come on. Move it.
- I have... l... l...
I haven't...
I haven't done anything!
Yo, this is the number
to this phone.
I want you to put
a trace on it.
I want the owner and an address.
Call me when you got it.
Okay.
Lieu, you looking
for me?
Explain the Wisconsin kid.
I set up a buy with the bad guys,
he got in the middle of it,
- now they think he's me.
- So you're telling me
- the guns are still in play.
- Yeah.
- How do you know this isn't a setup?
- With this guy?
- Yeah, with this guy.
- Not with this guy.
Okay, where is he?
He's in holding,
and he's gonna stay there.
Yes, Ma'am.
Sh*t.
They ate him already.
Caucasian gentlemen.
Big glasses.
Oh yeah, didn't have
the heart to put him in there.
Ah-ah!
Thank you.
- Come on.
- So, am I free to go now?
Go? Oh, hell no.
They're fixing a sh*t sandwich upstairs,
and you're
the mayonnaise.
Possession of a stolen weapon,
armed robbery and the Turkish
government wants
to have a little chat
with you before we're done.
Okay, I want to talk
to an attorney.
I get one phone call,
and I want to call an attorney.
Let me lay your options
out for you here...
You can come with me
as a Suspect Who's Cooperating,
or you can stay here
and get married tonight.
- So what's it gonna be?
- Okay, just so we're clear...
I am not choosing
to go with you.
I'm choosing
not to stay with them.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
Lag escort, first-time
session.
Hang on.
This is one
screwed up crew.
All right, just so
there's no confusion, here's the deal...
You're in my world now,
not yours.
And in my world, your responsibilities
begin and end with me.
And what would those
responsibilities be?
Well, these guys think you wanna
buy guns from them.
I need you to meet 'em one more time
and set up a buy,
- so I can bust their ass.
- Okay, I am developing a slight phobia
The whole meeting thing, quite frankly,
is getting irritating.
I have to be honest.
Look, I have done everything
you've asked me to do.
Why can't I go?
What does any
of this have to do with me?
Because every time
these guys meet somebody new,
they're on the lookout
for the Man.
And you most certainly
do not look like the Man.
Oh, I don't look
like the Man.
Well, thank you, because
that clears up absolutely nothing.
Who... who is the Man?
The heat, the pig,
the po-po, 5-0,
the undercover agent
of a b*tch, these a**holes trust you.
Well, you know,
people do trust me.
- That's not a compliment, sh*t stain.
- Okay, you know what?
Why do you swear so much?
Do you think it makes you sound tougher
when you just swear
all the time?
- F*** you.
- Okay, that's good. That's really good.
Really classy. You know,
I could go around all day saying,
"F-U. F this
and F that
and F-ing this,
you mother-F-er."
to be some civility in the world.
Incidentally, there is a trick
you can use to curb that habit.
Every time you feel like saying
the "F" word, just go ahead and say it,
and then add,
"Crying out loud."
F*** crying out loud.
F*** crying out loud.
F*** crying out loud.
And before you know it, you're saying,
"Oh, for crying out loud."
Let's see here.
- Oh, boy. Well...
- You did make her a promise.
You always break
your promises to her.
You want your daughter growing up
like you, not trusting anybody?
- That's not the point.
- It's exactly the point.
No, it's not.
You promised her you'd be
at her recital tonight.
Something came up.
You know, my little girl's a ballerina too,
and she's exactly your age.
- Really?
- Yeah,
I help her
with her pirouettes all the time.
That's not
what this is about.
This is about
you not wanting to go
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"The Man" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_man_20782>.
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