The Man of the Year

Before you're born...

someone, maybe God, defines exactly

how he's going to f*** your life.

This was my theory.

God only thinks about

men at the start...

when He decides whether their

life is going to be good or bad.

If He's in a hurry,

He makes a war, or a tornado...

and kills off a whole bunch

of people without a thought.

But He did think about me.

'THE MAN OF THE YEAR'

So, have you chosen?

- This one.

- Nowadays men are like women.

Liposuction, waxing, getting rid of

wrinkles, peeling, botox, everything.

For instance, now it 's trendy

for men to dye their hair blond.

- Yesterday, I did two myself.

- In my case it was a bet.

I don't like my clients looking.

Spoils the surprise.

- What bet was that?

- Soccer.

Losing is terrible. Who lost?

Me.

Oh, my God.

I shouldn't have left

it so long, but...

I think you'll like it.

Hope so.

It's nearly platinum blonde.

What's wrong, didn't you like it?

I can dye it again, if you want.

I've always thought I was ugly.

Never enjoyed looking in the mirror.

But on that day it was different.

I looked at that face that was mine

but wasn't mine. A blond...

a stranger.

I spent my whole life wishing

lwere someone else.

And there I felt my time had come.

What are you doing tonight?

So, what are we going to do?

I wanted to take Cledir to a motel

and f*** all night long.

But I' d promise to pass

by Gonzaga's bar...

and show my cousin Robinson

that I' d paid my debt.

I could've gone there another time,

but I felt like going right then.

I was feeling good...

and wanted to show everyone

the new Miquel.

Where's Robinson?

- What the f***'s that?

- What's up? What am I, a clown?

You look funny.

- In what way, brother?

- What do you mean? Just funny.

You look like a gringo.

You telling me I look like a fag?

You walk in here looking like a

gringo and I can't think it's funny?

What's your problem?

I'not a f*ggot and I'm not a clown.

I don't like you laughing

when I walk in here.

That 's the problem.

Look, Miquel...

I didn't call you a fag...

but I am now.

If you ask me...

any man who dyes his hair blond

like that, like you did...

has to be a fag, and big time.

C'mon. Weren't we going to dance?

Miquel, come and have

a beer with us, man.

Go f*** yourself.

Don't mess around with that guy.

Forget it.

You're the f*ggot, Suel. Let's go

outside settle this sh*t like men.

Come on, let's go!

- I'm so scared of you.

- Let 's go!

Hey c'mon! Stop that now!

No fighting in my bar!

I'm with my girlfriend tonight.

I'll deal with you another time.

Whenever you like, Blondie.

- Let 's go.

- Tomorrow. Midday, here.

I couldn't sleep at night

thinking about Suel.

And my tooth was killing me.

I shouldn't have done that.

I had gotten myself in a duel.

Suel surely had a gun. I had never

held a gun before, damn it.

I was going to stay home quiet,

and forget that guy.

F*** him.

I wasn't gonna go out.

Reach for your gun, Suel.

Fire away, Blondie.

That's how things began.

In this stupid way.

I never thought I' d kill someone.

And all because of a bet.

DAY OF SADNESS AND GLORY

AT MARACAN:

I wanted to run away,

to leave town but I just stood...

standing there.

I was afraid of Suel' s friends,

afraid of the cops, of going to jail.

I just wanted to put

an end to that agony.

I was going to hand myself in.

- Hand yourself in, like hell!

- Like hell!

I told you not to mess with Suel!

- You've got to get away fast.

- Take that car you've been using...

...and go to the countryside.

- No, the Maverick's due tomorrow!

You should go further,

up to the northeast.

F***, Marco!

People hide over in Niteri.

Why don't you dye your hair

black and stay right here?

After having dropped

at the end of last week...

today the dollar increased

by 5.31%% against the real...

and was bought at R$ 3.165

and sold at R$ 3.17.

The volume of transactions

among banks decreased.

Hey, Miquel!

Suel was a f***ing thief.

He took boxes of booze...

and said that if I told the cops

he'd set fire to the bar.

No one liked him around here.

Plus the f***er was under age

and couldn't be arrested.

He deserved to die.

Go on, drink your whisky.

I'll just have a Coke, no ice.

He's the one who shot Suel.

Good work. Helping keep the

trash off the streets. Let's go.

I felt it was still too early

for me to feel safe.

But everybody was thanking me,

giving me presents.

I never thought that people would

be happy with the death of a guy.

They said that criminals belong

in the cemetery...

and that I had done

society some good.

Who farted there, man?

Sh*t, man.

- Stinks!

- Gross, man!

That stinks! F***!

Just a minute.

Trumps. Pass.

So tell us how you

knocked that guy out.

The guy came at me like this, right?

Showing off...

Had a girlfriend, didn't he?

- Wonder where she's gone.

- She can go f*** herself.

I... I...

I...

Go on, Enoque, spit it out!

- It was nobody.

- What do you mean, nobody?

Nobody.

Mr. Baldani sent this.

Told me to congratulate you.

Congratulations. Bye.

Bill Clinton's visit to Brazil...

was marked by a breach of protocol.

At the Mangueira Olympic village...

the American retinue

was half an hour late.

They were applauded

by the elite of Rio's samba.

The VIPs of Mangueira Samba School

heard two celeb's speeches.

Pel succeeded in making

Bill Clinton...

the first US president

to join Mangueira.

Look here!

Be quiet!

I can do that too.

I'll make you a deal:

Don't eat my sneakers

and I won't eat you.

Your name's Bil now. Okay?

What's up? What's up?

Who's Bil? Who's Bil?

Who's Bil? Who's Bil...

Bil, daddy's going out now

to buy food for you.

Food for Bil.

After I killed Suel a lot of things

changed in my life.

That was all the neighborhood talked

about. They were proud of me.

I always thought life sucked,

I always did everything wrong...

but now it was different.

I started to enjoy things.

I felt important, happy.

I was going to get a job,

work, and date.

In Japan there are many

ways to prepare fish...

but only a way to cut it.

Ginsu 20OO for the legend lives on.

Sharper than ever,

its carbon steel blade...

cuts bones like this.

A genuine Ginsu can cut,

carve, chop, saw and slice.

Its extremely sharp saw-toothed

edge can easily carve...

this turkey and this shank.

Ginsu cuts any kind of vegetable.

Look. How much would you pay

for this Ginsu 20OO?

Don't answer yet because you'll also

receive 6 other knives for barbecue.

Their double saw-toothed blades

can carve any kind of meat.

That's not all.

You'll also get this cutter...

for delicate cuts of meat that

won't require further sharpening.

Bil!

Listen to me!

You're not doing your part!

Hi.

Hi.

Folks are talking about you.

Jesus, what happened

to your sneaker?

- Oh, that was Bil.

- The dog?

- No, the pig.

- Pig? You've got a pig now?

- Cool, where is it?

- It's in the bathroom.

A piglet... to eat.

What do you think I'd have

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