The Marrying Kind Page #2

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- It's not much, but...

- Listen, you didn't have to!

Something you'll be able to use

every night when you go home.

Here you are, Chet. From everybody here.

Thanks, fellows, very much.

What are these?

Ear stoppers! You never use them?

You're gonna need them now, boy.

Look, you just stick them in, just like that,

and you got peace.

It's the only way you'll ever get it now.

Go on, Benny, come on.

Just a gag, Chet. Here's the present.

You don't have to open it.

It's a wallet, genuine alligator,

and it cost plenty, too.

There she is!

- Mama!

- Well, here I am.

You're the first company

in this whole apartment.

Isn't it beautiful?

Well, now I got two married daughters

with two homes.

Well, Joan's is gorgeous.

But isn't this something?

Of course, you realize it isn't finished yet.

The bedroom, you want to look in?

What's this? Modern?

Beds are delivered next week.

Can't hurt yourself falling out of bed

or anything.

Yeah, you could tripping over.

Well, it's kind of transient looking,

but lovely.

We're gonna have two bureaus. Unpainted.

Chet's very handy with a paint brush.

Artistic. He's gonna paint his a light green,

and mine a light pink.

Why light, pray?

Wait a minute,

I have to look at something on the stove.

Mama!

The kitchen!

I'm giving us pork chops for lunch.

Joan likes them.

- You like them, too, don't you?

- Lf they're reliable.

- And Emily likes any old thing.

- She looks it.

- Listen, Mama, none of that.

- None of what?

I made up my mind,

this is gonna be one family...

without all the in-laws

always biting at each other.

Emily is Chet's sister and I love her.

And so do you.

I am not going to love anybody

who's married to a butcher.

Pat is a very fine person,

and you love him, too...

- The same as her.

- I do, do I?

- Yes, you do.

- Well, that's very nice of me.

- What's that?

- A present, I guess.

I don't think we bought anything that shape.

You never know.

They wrap things up so crazy.

Can you afford a radio as expensive

as this one looks like to me?

No, but Mr. Clarence F. Dow can.

- Who?

- You know, my old boss.

I didn't remember he had an "F" in him.

The least he could do is a generous gift,

after all I took from him.

Took what?

Isn't this gorgeous!

A cigarette box!

- Is it real leather?

- From the girls at the office.

"When you light up at the end of the day...

"think of Edie and Marian...

"and Gloria and Min and Charlotte and Mae. "

Yeah, you know if that's real leather,

it costs something. Smell it.

It's real leather!

- How are things going, Ed?

- No strain.

- Hey, Chet. Up here!

- Hi, boy!

- Welcome to our city.

- How are you, George?

Fine. And you?

No change.

- How's Florence?

- Fine.

- How come you don't look no different?

- Why should I?

- Or maybe you ain't adjusted yet?

- I'm adjusted.

In fact, I never had it so good.

- I got something to go for now, after all.

- Yeah? Like what?

Like getting someplace,

like a family man should.

Yeah, I can see you're adjusted, all right.

I got figuring something the other day.

To make good, you don't have

to be smart all your life.

You only have to be smart

for about 10 seconds, that's all.

What do you mean, 10 seconds?

This guy who thought up the idea

of the windshield wiper.

All right, how long did it take him

to think it up?

Ten seconds, maybe less.

From then on, everything rolls, or anything.

The telephone, or the subway.

Cellophane.

Or even take the wheel.

Whoever thought up the wheel?

- I bet it didn't take more than 10 seconds.

- Boy, married life's sure made you deep.

Anyway, that's the sort of lines

I'm thinking along.

Three, four years you'll be

bald-headed, or gray-haired, or both.

- See you, George!

- Don't take any wooden 10 seconds!

- Sorry. What were you saying, Emily?

- Nothing.

If you hadn't given up your job,

the house would be a mess.

- Now, this chop is tender.

- Good, Mama.

So speak to your butcher,

or don't speak to him, how you feel.

Joan don't have to be late all the time,

does she?

Mine were both good.

- Was it grand at Atlantic City?

- Was it!

How's it I've never been?

Because everybody gets in a rut.

Take me, a rut.

But down there in Atlantic City...

I got into quite a lot of thinking,

you know what I mean?

I don't mean just stewing around,

I mean thinking.

And to tell you the truth,

I was surprised how enjoyable it was!

Well, you take most people, including me...

they hardly ever get to do any thinking,

when do they get the time?

If you do get the time,

there's the movies or the radio...

or you play a game of cards,

but no thinking.

Down there it was my first chance in

I don't know how long...

and I've made up a rule, I'm gonna do

at least a half hour of thinking...

every day, all by myself. Just quietly.

What are you gonna think about?

I don't know, everything.

Let me know how you make out.

I may try it myself.

Here, take my knife, Mama, it's sharper.

I could go the world over,

Atlantic City would be my greatest place.

That salt water taffy was nice,

but there was no salt water in it.

Mrs. Finney said she thought so, either.

- It's great, though.

- It pulls your fillings.

Say, what's Joan have to be so late about?

- Don't you like a piano in a room?

- How about some curtains?

Where did I read in the paper somewhere,

about curtains made out of...

comic papers stuck on unbleached

muslin, with borders made of Scotch Tape?

Give me back my own knife, will you?

I kind of got used to it.

That's her.

Hi. I got caught in all the traffic.

Hello, Mama.

You remember Emily, don't you?

Chet's sister?

- Sure, from the wedding.

- Hi, Joan.

How's your cute husband?

- Cute.

- We started.

What a darling room!

We're keeping yours hot out here.

I just adore that kind of a couch!

- What kind is it?

- Sit down, Joan.

We're using your silver. Beautiful!

- The knives could be sharper.

- How's Howard?

I guess he got our postcards okay.

- Why Jell-O, pray?

- It's great for you.

We were studying this book

they gave away at Atlantic City...

turns out

it's the healthiest thing you can eat.

You can't beat fruit.

Chet says you never have to be sick at all,

if you watch it.

He says, "We are what you put in you. "

You know what I mean?

Like if you stick to only healthy food,

you'll turn out healthy yourself.

Chet's terribly smart about stuff.

I mean, he really thinks.

Like last night, he says:

"Why do we have to blow our noses?

A dog never does. "

What time last night?

You see, trouble is,

just aren't enough promotions to go around.

- Have a sourball?

- No, thanks, I just had lunch.

Lots of energy in these things.

Here, Joe, take this.

What was I saying?

- About there aren't enough.

- Not by a long shot!

The only thing,

when I filed for Equipment Inspector...

I wasn't married then.

Do I have to make out another one now?

No, that's all right.

- Thought maybe there was a difference.

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